Brad Lindert

Inter-office memo, not intended for the public. In response to the last few offensive catchphrases we will now be creating them in house. Thank you for understanding.

Don't call it a come back, no seriously don't. I'm pretty sure if we do LL Cool J will sue us for copyright infringement. And I don't got the money to fight him in court.

Randomly getting up in the middle of the night to pee isn't the only sign of aging. I'm also coming down with a bad case of Comedy bang bang

I'm not saying she was a good lover, but I will say she knew her way around a grilled cheese.

Stop it, spaceman.

When you guys originally did the judge dredd episode I was so confused on why you weren't talking about Wesley Snipes' hair. It took me most of the episode for me to realize that I was thinking of another sly Stallone futuristic cop movie. How was he allowed to do two films that were pretty much the same thing so close together.

"Scott's Short Plugs Theme" By B dirty https://soundcloud.com/user447494908/scotts-short-plugs-theme

Ladies and gentleman of the jury I've got two words for you "balloon pants"

From jay Henderson,: Julie S. will you go to the prom with me? From Paul Blarn, to Sandy Willy, will you marry me? From Scott Aukerman, to Those girls near the bus stop, I think I gave you the clap. Have yourselves tested!

Since I was only five or six when I saw this, I didn't know it was a condom. I thought it was a feather that was formed into a loop. Remember I was six.

Comedy bang bang, half the fun at twice the price.

Rubber baby buggie bumpers. Apple bottomed raincoat humpers. Candy coated kiddie jumpers. Let's call it right there. Welcome, to the bang bang.

You can count on me, I'll keep using my fingers.

Up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's a laugh riot.

I blame my mother for making me take ballet classes, and I blame my father for my male pattern baldness... and my crippling fear of toasters.

I just called to say "I love you", but if I text you, it's to say "lets bang."

I was meant for the stage, but I'll settle for this podcast. Welcome to comedy bang bang.

You may be accidentally racist, but I'm doing' it on purpose.

I'm starting I to feel like the president of the math club at prom. All the pretty girls and ain't no one gonna dance with me.

Ding dong the witch is dead, I'm sorry to break it to you that way. Honestly, she wasnt much of a witch. She was a lovely, lovely lady. She will be missed. Services will be held Thursday at 7pm. If you can, bring a hot dish to pass.

Help, this gazebo has a mind of its own!

If at first you don't succeed, then keep sending crappy catchphrases.

Dig that groovey tune Reggie! Ladies and gentlemen my personal sherpa on the mountain that is music, Reggie Witts.

I knew it from the first time I saw her, the way she walked into the room, tossed her hair back and smiled. There was a quiet confidence as if she knew I was looking at her, and only at her. I knew it then and there that some day she'd be... MY WIFE.

Baby, I'll be your part time lover if you'll be my full time live in nurse.