Balki report: There is one Balki. His name is Bartokomous. He lives in a balcony.

[Balki report: There is one Balki. His name is Bartokomous. He lives in a balcony.]

.

[Heydongban....I hab a cold]

.

[Albano vs Ferrigno vs Bega: Whoever wins, they're all Lou's.]

.

[All of Earwolfs feeds seem to be dead?]

This is happening again.

[Episode 283 - Brick of Coffee: LIVE from SXSW]

Is the feed for this episode down? I was 34 minutes in and it just stopped. Now I can't get it to play on my doubleTwist app or the howl app.

[Episode 465 - Harsh Joe Pinions]

Based on this message board I am clearly in the minority, but I thought Joe Pinions was terrible. For me, that's the worst character that has ever been on Comedy Bang Bang. It was like listening to your unfunny friend trying to do Paul Rust's new no-no's and failing.

 

Maybe I was just in the wrong mood for him, but I strongly dislike that character.

[These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume: the sweetest honey Is loathsome..]

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,

Which as they kiss consume: the sweetest honey

Is loathsome in his own deliciousness

And in the taste confounds the appetite:

Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;

Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

 

Byyyyyy Mennen!

[Brothers and sisters; I have none, but this man's father is...]

(Don Pardo voice) NORA DUNN!

[Episode 136.5 - Minisode 136.5]

Does Paul actually think that foxes are cats?

[The new 1986 Buick Riviera features an impressive 142 hp V6 engine, 4-wheel disc brakes,]

The new 1986 Buick Riviera features an impressive 142 hp V6 engine, 4-wheel disc brakes, an advanced electronic display, and my parents haven't spoken to each other in years.

[How is THIS not a thing yet?]

This. Yeah. Suck it.

[For the last time, people; whales aren't fish, they're dinosaurs or monsters or some shit]

.

[If it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, still flush it down, you disgusting hippie.]

.

[I'd like to buy the world a Coke, because I have $8 billion burning a hole in my pocket.]

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[If your name is Stan, and no one calls you "Stan the Man", you must be some kind of sad, pathetic loser.]

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[Everything that has ever happened is in the past - I can't believe you're still hung up on that stuff.]

.

[YOLO SWAG = Your Onions Look Overcooked, So We'll Ask Gary]

.

[I only ever dream of amusement parks]

.

[In some cultures it's considered stupid and juvenille to keep the sticker on your baseball hat, but in other cultures there are no baseball hats.]

.

[If I could take a free vacation to anywhere in the world,...]

I'd probably take it. Sounds like a great deal.

[The following catchphrase was NOT brought to you by AprilFoolsRebel:]

See ya lter, Alligator. So long, Dugong.

[A sandwich just isn't a sandwich...]

without the tangy zip of bread, meat, vegetables, and condiments. Maybe some cheese? Do you guys do bacon

[I'm watching wrestling and drinking Hi-C fruit punch...]

I'm watching wrestling and drinking Hi-C fruit punch in my underwear, but you don't hear me bragging about it.

[Episode 150.5 — Sklarbro County 55]

I'm from Norristown, PA, the town where the naked lady was pulling grass.

 

1 - Nowhere near Hershey, 10 miles outside of Philadelphia.

2 - "Wet" is a major issue here, and this story is par for the course.

3 - The US Open is happening right down the street from Norristown, creating a nice, temporary mix of rich, entitled douches and poor, uneducated dum-dums.

[I don't want to sound racist...]

...but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang!