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Everything posted by Cam Bert
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Sounds delightful. If you could compete in any of the events which would it be? For me it's a toss up between assault and powerball.
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Musical Mondays Off-Week 9 (JammerLea's Pick)
Cam Bert replied to Cameron H.'s topic in How Did This Get Made?
Fellow April birthday person! -
Okay, so I believe the woman is secretly in love with siren officer. Hear me out! So this woman is in the theater, it's ladies day (a discounted day for women at movie theaters) and she's taking in the latest shojo manga inspired insipid love story. She's minding her own business when she sees cameraman video taping the movie. She's in shock and doesn't know what to do. Then enter siren officer, she sets her eyes on him and falls madly in love. She continues to go to the movies but nobody else has been foolish enough to pirate a film. Growing desperate in her want to be with siren officer she has an idea. She'll illegally download a movie. Knowing that siren officer monitors and is in charge of punishing pirates and illegal downloaders, he'll have no choice but to bust her. That's why she's so happy about illegally downloading things at the end. Then the look at the end is not shock but surprised elation that he's finally back into her life. It's hard to explain. That version of the ad ran for about... I want to say 4-5 years. No matter what movie theater you went to, no matter the movie, you had to watch this. So in a weird Stockholm syndrome type way you come to love this little ad. I mean those dance moves! I bought the action figures muttnik posted. I took photos with people cosplaying as them at events. The characters were everywhere. On the news. In live comedy shows. I had become a fan. I thought I was a fan of the characters then sadly two and a half years ago or so they changed it to this: Now as much as I would love to speculate on who exactly Mr. Soda and Mr. Popcorn are and their relationship, I'm not as invested in them as I am with strange woman from the original. So I guess that makes me a fan of that specific ad.
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I got Paul to say fuck The Lake House. Not as good as a marriage proposal but I'll take it. I've never had a heckling experience in a theater. Considering I've been living in Japan for the last 12 years or so it's just not something that is done here. In fact even if you go see a Japanese comedy there if often little to no laughing. I find it very strange. I've been to live comedy as well and TV taping and people will laugh freely but in the theater nothing. Which leads to a fun talking in the theater story I have but that's the closest I have to heckling. As I said Japanese people are stone silent more often than not but I do not care and I laugh if something is funny. I was watching Guardians of the Galaxy in a packed theater and there are a lot of jokes in that movie. I was giggling a few times and laughing aloud a few times. Then the scene when Starlord is listing the long list of Earth outlaws and ends on John Stamos I let out a big-ish laugh. The random strange who was sitting next to me just leans over and says "Could you explain it to me" I told him that John Stamos was uncle Jessie on Full House, a show that has no right to be as popular here as it is, and he just said "Yea, he's cool." On a related note. Before you see a movie in Japan there are two things you have to see. One is a short thing on proper manners for the movie theater. Like this: The second is an anti piracy ad. These were the first two in the series. The second one ran for so long that I developed a very involved fan theory on the mysterious woman.
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Musical Mondays Off-Week 9 (JammerLea's Pick)
Cam Bert replied to Cameron H.'s topic in How Did This Get Made?
Now all we need is a Sky and two women to be Sister Sarah and Adelaide and we can put on a show! -
First off, fuck these shirts.... are pretty sweet!! Now to inquire about international shipping. Also looking forward to Fister's thoughts on Your Name. Or anybody's who's willing to share them. Edit: In case the joke is not clear, I love the shirts.
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OMG!!! The stupid book!!! FUCK THIS MOVIE!!!! Sandy B clearly tells Keanu: Okay, so these two characters are falling in love? Both also have father issues. He should get how important this gift from her father is to her. So he comes to the station, gets the book and then does what with it? Does he tell her he has it? Nope. Does he put it in the box like she asked? Nope. Rather he meets her at the party and like Cameron H said brings it up like some weird robot person. Gee, what a perfect time to say instead of "a friend recommended it to me" to something more like "I found it at a train station." Was it Riverside station because I left a copy of that book there by accident. Yes it was here you go. Done! Nope that's far too human and caring. Instead I'm going to use my limited understanding of the story as an allegory for our love and give it back to you at the right moment to remind you of me and what could have been. Total dick move Keanu. How does he give it back to her? Does he leave it at the lake house for her? Nope. Send it through the mail? Nope. He goes into her future apartment and places it under the floor boards. A, this is a brand new building and he's ripping up floor boards? Sandy is not getting that security deposit back. B, the only way she would find it is if it creaked and according to my elaborate timeline she's been living there for a year a half at these point. You think she would have found it by then. Which means the only logical conclusion is that half a year before she moved in Keanu went into the as of yet unrented apartment, place the book under the floor boards in a location that would surely not be covered up by furniture or anything, and at the exact moment two years in the future Sandra would be feeling despondent and step on that spot to cause her to find it. That or she just waited that long to final investigate the source of this creaky floor board. Either case, total dick move. Also, let's look back at her letter to him. Two years ago today she says. Keanu gets that letter and gets to the station just before 1:45. That means she must have written that letter the night prior, got up first thing in the morning, drove out to the lake house, and put it in the mailbox. Meanwhile Keanu had to get up early enough to see that she sent something, read it, and drive all the way into the city and to riverside in order to help. Not saying it's not possible, just a really lucky timing all around. Also, how is that a game? Sound more like a favor than a game.
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You're right! This is what I get for trying to write things at work without my notes. The second and third points are still valid though. Also do you think he wore the turtleneck as an homage to their first meeting at the birthday party?
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There are three little things about the ending that still bother me as well. First, Keanu's outfit. Yes the hideousness of his turtle neck has long been discussed but why is he even wearing it? I mean, the scene before in which we see him is the scene in which he was suppose to be hit by a bus and he was wearing his tan jacket, button up shirt and jean assemble. Next he's all turtle necked up at the lake house. He took the time to go back to his place to change? Instead of rushing to the lake house to finally be with his "true love" or even rushing there to let her know he survived so she's not just crying in a heap, he decides "You know what, I better look nice for her." goes to his apartment, tries on few outfits, brushes his teeth, and then drives out to the lake house. Second, the movie does a few things to try to throw us off the time travel scent early on. From the characters driving old and therefore timeless cars, to changes in weather to show a passage of time, they want to preserve that mystery until it's carelessly fumbled out through horrible dialogue. By the end of the movie we know the terrible secret that is time travel and Keanu being Meet Joe Black-ed. So wouldn't it stand to reason that Sandra Bullock and her mother should be having the same conversation and doing the same things that they had done at the start of the movie when Keanu was hit by the bus? Thirdly, it was fucking stupid and fuck this movie.
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Let's me check my notes.... Yes. Fuck this movie.
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The tree in the middle of the house really needs to be talked about. It annoys me on multiple levels. First, they decided to make it a maple tree. There is nothing inherently wrong with that except for they pick a tree that on appearance alone clearly tells you the time of the year. Green leaves? Spring if they're small otherwise Summer. Red leaves? Fall. No leaves? Winter! So on a pure continuity level the tree is all over the place in the movie no to mention not always jiving with the time of year the story is suppose to be in. Then there is just the ridiculousness of this idea of a tree growing through the house. First off in the wide shots of the house we see that the tree is not just in the house but the trunk of the tree goes down to the little wharf area below the house. This means the house at the wharf and in the flooring has to be build around the tree. This raises the issue of drafts and heat lost that comes from having to make space for the tree to be there. Then the biggest and most space consuming part of it, the top, is plopped into the center of the house. Not only does this take up valuable space, but seeing as this is a maple tree you are creating a nightmare cleaning scenario come fall or anytime a strong draft comes in. Also this tree cannot grow. The way the house is built the tree cannot grow because the trunk would grow too thick and ruin the flooring and it'd grow taller than the house. What they must have done it built a containing pot for it's roots below the wharf so it can no long grow yet still live. Then the kicker is there's the sun roof above it. You know what you call a glass house? A green house! I'm sure plants grow fine in them. Then final kicker is that they try to tie the tree into Keanu's story about his father and how the design of the lake house reflects his controlling and distant nature. You don't need the whole father story in the movie at all really and even then the scene could play out the exact same without the tree! He could be describing something else about the house like "Glass walls, creating the illusion that you can leave and explore but you are contained inside where he wants you. Containment and control." Boom. Done. No need to have this tree which makes no sense in the middle of the house! A stupid, illogical, continuity ruining thing put there for the sake of one like of dialogue in a scene that could easily be cut. Then again we wouldn't have gotten that lovely poem from earlier without it there.
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As I'm still at work and don't have my notes just a few random things I recall regarding things already brought. - Fuck this movie -So we're told Il Mare is the best restaurant in all of Chicago and it's so popular you need a reservation at least two years in advance. Yet Sandra Bullock is allowed to sit there all night and sulk? I mean yes it's very sad that her lover has not shown and I'm sure the staff was very curious about this weird two year reservation but at a certain point her time is up. It's fully booked. They have to move that table. While she's sitting there staring off into the mid distance there are couples that have to dine at the bar because they aren't kick this woman out of her table even though she's not ordering or eating. -I just want to further echo what a horrible love story this is. A key element any romance movie or rom-com is that the characters have to fall in love. We as the audience have to see these characters fall in love and buy that they love each other and how they fell for each other and for me anyway movie fails at this. They're suppose to be falling in love via the letters that they write, yet none of the letters are overly romantic and aside from the odd line nothing loving is ever really said. Her superior and his brother think this is all silly and say things like "they must write one hell of a letter" but do they? The movie never shows us that. Like Cameron H said if we're seeing the snippets of the letters, the parts they're responding to help replicate dialogue, we never see what is so great about the letters. We miss the parts of the letter that make them swoon and fall for each other. We just get question, answer, and if we're lucky a quip. We don't get passion or love, and the V.O. of the letters is just flat and lifeless like text would be so we don't really feel it there either. Slight edit: The walk they go on I guess is the start of the romance. As far as we know they've literally only introduced themselves, and all of a sudden they're in love. It's a love story that spend too much time on side stories that don't bring this characters together or help so to conflict of being in love but in separate times.
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Musical Mondays Off-Week 9 (JammerLea's Pick)
Cam Bert replied to Cameron H.'s topic in How Did This Get Made?
I was definitely a theater brat. I was even on my high school's improv team. Yes we had a competitive improv league for high schools in my home town. I started doing dramatic theater in my later elementary school days and when I got to high school moved over to doing musical theater as well. The three years I did musical theater I was Moonface Martin in Anything Goes, the Lion in Wizard of Oz, and Nicely Nicely in Guys and Dolls. To say I was typecasted would be accurate I think. -
What is also shocking about all this is that the guy she ran away to San Fransisco with she tells Keanu is the only man she's ever loved. So how old do we figure she's suppose to be? Early 30s? She has made it that far in life still only ever loving one man from years ago and she even recall what he looks like? Trust me I was getting very self conscious about it. I have so much more to say but I want to let everyone else chime in so I'm not just running rampant and ruining everyone's fun.
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Musical Mondays Off-Week 9 (JammerLea's Pick)
Cam Bert replied to Cameron H.'s topic in How Did This Get Made?
I have to say I have not seen this movie but I am curious about it. The title alone confused me. Is it a musical set in high school or is it a musical about a high school musical? I guess I'll find out in a few days. Interesting pick Jammer! Also, now I'm just awaiting talk of Glee and our own high school musical experiences.- 76 replies
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Musical Mondays Off-Week 9 (JammerLea's Pick)
Cam Bert replied to Cameron H.'s topic in How Did This Get Made?
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First off, welcome aboard! Those are all good points! Well this is where my elaborately drawn timeline I made comes in to help. So Keanu moved in start of February 2004. Not only did he move in but he states he bought the place. So he's the owner. Now he lives there until roughly mid to late winter, so about a year later. At this point Sandy B has told him not to contact him anymore and he's moving on. He gives the keys to Morgan, thus I guess giving him the place for Sandra Bullock. She was in residency so that most likely wrapped out mid to late spring, which has her moving into the lake house around then. She moves out at the start of February 2006 meaning she was there 8-10 months total. Given that future her didn't want anything to do with Keanu he never stuck around to meet her as in his mind they were done. Also at this point he was just the guy she kissed at the party so she probably forgot about him entirely at that point. This still leaves Keanu as the technical owner of the place and her as renter. Whether or not she was paying rent to him or living there for free is unclear as we don't really a look into 2005 that much. However, seeing as nobody rented the place from February 2006 to February 2008 it leads me to believe that she assumed it was going to rented out again after her, but because he died and his brother wrought with grief never took charge of it that never happened. Then again this is all negated by him not dying at which point he never rented it out again so it could be their place in the future of 2008. Also, fuck this movie. This!! I thought was very odd as well. The other small thing to add to this is that in his father's book it reads "Simon Wylder with his son Alex at their lake house project" Why is it their project? Was it his eight year old son's idea to build a glass house? Why does he get credit for it as well?
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Musical Mondays Week 9 Pete's Dragon (1977)
Cam Bert replied to Cameron H.'s topic in How Did This Get Made?
As a Canadian the whole Peeps thing is lost on me. Never had them but they seem... okay. Although I did recently see Peeps Oreos and they looked very good. Also I agree with everybody else, whatever you choose Jammer will be great!- 184 replies
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First off, fuck this movie. I think the implication is that he abandon the dog when Morgan finds him because he technically never owned him. It's more like he came with the house. Here are the keys and the dog. Still pretty shitty thing to do. Also, there are two curious points about that letter. First, he must have written the date on it as well. If you recall the very next letter is the one in which Sandra Bullock is like "Um, hey dumdum it's 2006 not 2004." Why would she say that unless he wrote the date in that first letter? But why would he even write the date on that letter? I mean he doesn't even sign his name so he's not following proper writing etiquette there so why include the date? Also the paw prints. I have two minor quibbles with them. First the dog walks through the paint and runs inside the house but magically he only has enough paint on his paws to make paw prints right up to the door and not inside the house? Also it's brown paint when he's clearly painting the rails green. We've seen the rails in the future and there is no brown anywhere so what was he doing with brown paint just sitting out there? Oh, and 100% agree on Timecrimes.
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First off, fuck this movie. I know it was brought up but I think we really need to talk about what a short end of the stick Morgan got. So if we break down his story in chronological order, we see he's truly a tragic figure. He goes to law school and becomes a lawyer and sets up his own small but respectable law practice in Chicago. Sometime after this he meets Sandra Bullock who is in med school. She unfortunately is doing her three year internal medicine residency in Madison WI which is a bit of a trek from Chicago. Morgan decides she's worth it and they continue to date long distance with her taking the train in the weekend to be with him. He's an outgoing guy and can't help befriend anybody he meets. Sure he might be an over thinker but he was always doing things for her. He meets a stranger and just because he could do something to help his girlfriend he invites him to a birthday party he's throwing for her. See the house he's been living in all these years is not to his girlfriend's liking so when she moves back to Chicago he wants to get a place on the lake because she'd like that. However, his girlfriend admits to this stranger that she doesn't love Morgan and she also doesn't like his parties with all these strangers. Yet instead of communicating this to Morgan sometime during their at a minimum two year relationship she just wonders outside, slow dances and makes out with this random stranger. Rightfully he's hurt but decides to try to make it work. Then about half a year later that stranger shows up and gives him his lake house for free. Shortly after her residency comes to and end and she moves back to Chicago, takes the keys and breaks up with him. She moves to the lake house and now he's on his own. At this point his house up on the market because he's forced to leave it and his law practice and move to a new city and start all over again. However he's still kinda in love with his ex. A year later after the break up he comes back to the city just to visit her and maybe rekindle those flames. He then starts to take interviews for companies looking for lawyers in Chicago. Meanwhile his ex is making friends, and starting to be social and open again. Then they start dating once more. She has him move into her place in the city and things kinda go back to how they were. A year passes and they decide they need to get a bigger place and he lets her pick the place. She finds a rundown place not to his liking but she likes it do they go see an architecture firm about remodeling it. As the meeting is finishing she runs away not explaining anything. Later she shows up with Keanu and says she's leaving him for that guy she made out with at her birthday three years ago and Morgan is once again dumped and left homeless. Poor Morgan, maybe if he remembered Valentines this would have all played out differently. Probably not though.
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First off, fuck this movie. I have so many damned notes and anger in me I have no idea where to begin even. Let's talk about this "freak late snow" that Sandy B prophetizes for Keanu. So she looks at her photo which is clearly dated the third of April 2004. First off the typical last snow fall in Chicago happens in April and averages a quarter inch or half a centimeter. If you actually break down the statistics on snowfall in April in Chicago you'll find an average of one day of snowfall and a cumulative average of 1.2 inches or 3 centimeters of snow. If we look at the picture and the amount of snow on the lake house the following day there is barely enough snow to blanket the ground meaning this was a perfectly average as to be expected early April snowfall! Also he sneezes the moment the snow starts falling. That's not how getting sick works! You're more likely to get sick in cold weather due to the extra moisture in the air virus can remain airborne longer and a decrease in air temperature makes your mucus secretion increase. Meaning with a runny nose you are more likely to touch your face and thus brings germs and virus into your body. In conclusion, fuck this movie.
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First off, fuck this movie. Secondly, she did her residency in Madison. The time of her residency was two years in the past, so while Keanu was living in the lake house she was living in Madison and spending weekends with Morgan in Chicago. She moved into a luxury downtown apartment in Chicago after she got the job at the Chicago City Hospital and started text mailing Keanu. So her trek to the mailbox would be however long it takes to get from the lake house into the city. In conclusion, fuck this movie.
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Just finished my rewatch of this movie and I have 8 pages of angrily scrawled notes, one page that just reads "FUCK YOU", and burning rage ready to let lose on any of the bullshit they may miss out on tomorrow! Don't think I'll be able to sleep now...
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Musical Mondays Week 9 Pete's Dragon (1977)
Cam Bert replied to Cameron H.'s topic in How Did This Get Made?
Who would you cast as Matt Fraction's Hawkeye Cameron? Ryan Kwanten?- 184 replies
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