Smigg
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Everything posted by Smigg
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I had to go on Shit Dick 1's IMDB page, to see if he's in any other movies, so I don't get a sneak attack from Shit Dick 1. Luckily, he's only in those shitty ass Step Up movies. So I'm safe.
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The movie's still on Netflix UK, they let us keep all the shit ones.
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We seem to have made an episode all of our own with this thread, and I'm loving every second of it.
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Maybe that's why they got divorced! There could have been a whole Maury Povich scene that was edited out, where Maury does that shit that he always does when he says "Allen, you ARE...... (not) the father!" and then Demi runs off stage crying and throws herself on the floor in hysterics.
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Here's one thing that wasn't brought up. Who the fuck was watching the little brother when there was the Incestuous Lesbian Bath Time?! They had that scene, and then all of a sudden, there's a little brother who just shows up out of nowhere. On top of that, the three pot head friends, either I'm going deaf, but I didn't hear ANY of them being referred to by their name.
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The Chicken Masturbating has brought a new, sexual edge to this
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On top of that, he see's his son, gives him a big, fatherly hug, and said "Congratulations, son!" Shit Dick 3 then says "Does this mean... I don't have to go to military school?!" Shit Dick 3's Dad, smiles, ponders for a few seconds, and says "Well, you did win. The US Military needs more guys coming from a culture of winning!" He salutes Shit Dick 3, starts walking away chanting U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A, happens upon Shit Dick 1, who, at this point, is having full, penatrative sex with a raw chicken, uppercuts him so hard, his feet come off the ground. After finding out that Shit Dick 1 is cheating on her with various items of poultry, Blonde Stupid Friend runs into the waiting arms of the Albegra Teacher, who then reveals that he's now dating "The Post-It" because she doesn't do weird shit like masturbate raw chickens with a webcam. So, Shit Dick 1 is unconcious with a raw chicken on his dick, Shit Dick 3 is crying because he's still going to Military School, Miley is crying because he's leaving, Blonde Stupid Friend is on the verge of suicide because she gets cheated on by Shit Dick 1 with the very poultry she seduced him with and Algebra Teacher is with No Ass McGee because she was forthright in saying "I want to suck your dick" instead of playing the "Can you tutor me" angle. Everyone is thoroughly depressed, and Thomas Jane is laughing like he's won the lottery, knowing he doesn't have to deal with that shit, he no longer has to pay alimoney because Demi is with the cop and he can bang all the young ass he wants without her judgemental asshole pot heads friends talking shit behind his back, so he sits back, and smokes a cigar as he listens to the Mortal Kombat theme music. I think we just made this movie so much better!!
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Perhaps there wasn't even a Battle of the Bands at all. Perhaps the Shit Dicks just marketed it as "Battle of the Bands", and they got one of their Shit Dick cohorts to just show up on stage and say "Well, these guys just won, all the other bands just quit because of how good these guys were! SHIT DICKS WIN!" Then they all walked off stage, and straight into some Chicken Pussy!
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You'd be surprised at how many "Shit Dicks" win that kind of stuff. I once lost a "Battle of the Bands" when I was at school, to four boys lip-synching and dancing to the Backstreet Boys. Fuck, the more I think of it, I'm wondering how I made it out of that place alive, kids setting fire to the place, trying to cause epileptic fits, and awarding a "Battle of the Bands" to people lip synching to the Backstreet Boys. Also, "How Did This Get Made?" has bled over into real life, when I went to see 'The Guest', and I saw a poster for "The Riot Club", and I said "So that IS Shit Dick 3!!", And my brother asked "Who's Shit Dick 3?"
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Excellent. Also, Shit Dick 3 is going to be in a new British movie called "The Riot Club", where I can't get passed him being Shit Dick 3, because he looks like such a Shit Dick.
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Well, the writer is French, you know what those French people are like, they're all dirty! "Ahhhh, zis sheeken, louks lahk a vasheen, non?"
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The chicken should be the HDTGM forum equivalent of the Rick Roll.
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God dammit, got me again.
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In fairness to Shit Dick 3's dad, his son is a fucking asshole. Maybe if he was a little more respectful to his parents whilst getting shitty grades, he wouldn't be such a dick in return. It was obvious that Shit Dick 3 was such an unrelenting scrotum, that his dad was finally sick of his shit.
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Or, when Shit Dick 1 is wearing a shirt to the party, that just happens to be the same shirt he was wearing when Blonde Stupid Friend was Camera Fucking poultry, and she IMMEDIATELY thinks that he's the same guy, almost as if manufacturers only make one of each shirt. She must have thought "Hey, that's the shirt from the Chicken Fucking... better suck his dick!" As for the Blonde Stupid Friend, she was pretty much a straight A student when she was trying to fuck the math teacher, so, wouldn't he say "Well, your grades show that you're actually getting it. If you want to suck my dick, just say" or something along those lines.
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No, but there have been at least three incidents where a student has started a fire and nearly burnt the school to the ground. So, it wasn't exactly a haven of learning.
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I must have gone to a particularly rough school, because if there was a kid like that who acted like Shit Dick 1 in this movie, not only would he have gotten his ass kicked, he'd have gotten his ass kicked to the point of him being put in a new school. Then again, I might have gone to a rough school, we had a kid with epilepsy, and people call him "Eppo Leppo" and other kids would flicker the lights on and of really fast to see if they could trigger an epileptic seizure.
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Heads up: LOL is only on Netflix Instant until 9/15/14
Smigg replied to Lando's topic in How Did This Get Made?
Here's what makes it even more fucked up. In the UK, the movie has an age rating of 12. To put that into perspective, Superbad was rated 15. I'd say that's about right, there's lots of drinking, guns shooting, some mild sex scenes, 15's about right. Now, LOL is a 12, that has drug use, and a girl using a raw chicken as a visual substitute for a pussy, and masturbating it with a fucking webcam. If you can stomache it, watch it again, with the words THIS IS FOR 12 YEAR OLDS! Now, as for the biggest dildo in the movie... This cockfucker needs his ass kicked. -
It's almost as if they filmed the movie, and they realised "Oh shit, we have a three and a half hour movie here!", and they had to edit two hours out of it. Or, it was an Ong Bak 2 situation.
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Well, it's because of those opening few minutes when I thought "Hang on, they've just left school, why are they leaving all over again?" So, that was in my head from the offset, so, everytime someone left, it just added to it. Also, that scene in the changing rooms, when they were talking about that girl's ass being amazing, she literally had NO ASS. Her ass was almost a concave ass, it was like Hank Hill's diminished glutes from King of the Hill.
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LOL - Lots of Leaving
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prepare to barf out of your dick so hard
Smigg replied to denimgremlin's topic in How Did This Get Made?
I made my now ex-girlfriend watch The Room as a practical joke, less than two minutes in, she asked "Is this a porno?" Now, I'm proud that I can FINALLY say '"YES!" -
Okay, I know I said 'Monday', but I went to see Lee Evans on Sunday and it was my birthday Tuesday, so I didn't want to ruin my good mood with this turd of a movie, but here's the "Leaving Log" for LOL. These are approximate times, because Netflix has shitty timecodes 1:05 - Kids leaving school 1:47 - The Nerdy Kid, who I will refer to from here on out as "Shit Dick", leaving the school 2:30 - Miley leaving somewhere on a train 2:45 - Kids leaving school... again... even though they had just left 4:25 - Miley leaves her boyfriend (fuck off, it's a kind of leaving), he will be "Shit Dick 2" 4:50 - Miley leaving on a train (Now we're at the weird, incesty Bathroom scene, this made me feel slightly less uncomfortable than the chicken) 5:50 - Miley leaves bathroom 6:20 - Demi Moore (who I'll admit, looks fit as fuck in this movie), leaves her bedroom 6:50 - Demi and Miley leave the house 8:25 - Miley and the love interest, who I'll call "Shit Dick 3", leave the school... 10 seconds after the arrive at the school 11:15 - Kids leaving Math Class 11:25 - Miley and her stupid friends leave school 12:50 - Miley leaves after Shit Dick 2 makes a comment about her being a slut... 15:05 - Miley's Blonde Stupid Friend leaves her bedroom, to physically assault her little brother. 15:10 - Miley's Blonde Stupid Friend leaves her little brother's bedroom, to continue the beating 15:45 - Shit Dick 3 leaves the band's practice room 15:50 - Kids leaving school 17:15 - Miley, Stupid Friends and the Shit Dicks leave the concert venue 19:00 - Demi leaving a courthouse 22:30 - Miley and some other Shit Dick leave the kitchen (Starting to think the name "The Shit Dicks" would be a good name for a punk band) 26:05 - Kids leaving school... again. 27:30 - Miley and the Stupid Friends presumabley leaving the gym 27:50 - Shit Dick 2 leaves after getting into a fight with Miley 32:50 - This is where I am left in shock at the chicken, why would someone do that? I don't understand, honestly, it fucked me right up. This film is rated 12 in the UK, so, using a chicken as a visual substitution for a pussy, whilst masturbating it with a webcam is suitable for a 12 year old in this country. Just watch this scene with my words in your mind, 12 YEAR OLDS CAN WATCH THIS! Just to put this into perspective for you, Superbad? 15, yeah, they swear alot, so 15 is alright. This is for 12 YEAR OLDS with a girl masturbating a raw chicken with a webcam to make it look like a pussy!! Okay, I'm tapping out right now, I'll pick this up again later. But, in half an hour, people have left somewhere 24 times! That's too much leaving!
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Oh god, I just realised that that means I have to subject myself to it again. Ah well, I've watched The Room four times for practical joke purposes, I can manage one more.
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One thing I noticed about this movie, it seemed like there was an inordinate amout of scenes of people leaving somewhere. I swear, in the first 3 minutes of the movie, they were walking out of the school about 4 times. In fact, on Monday, that's gonna be my project, I am going to count how many times there is a leaving/walking out scene. I do that for you people, I'm like The Rock, a people's champion!