JordanMaywood

Your attention span could not bridge the atoms in Osmium.

I use my guitar pick for mining sweet sweet tune ore bro!

Wild horse could not keep me away but trained horses specifically bred to keep me away likely could...

You know it's a bad sign that the bees are disappearing when they had to change their name to "urt's ees."

I am able to replicate the poop of any animal. I am a real shapshitter.

Glass bottom goats. Much less popular.

Woodward & Bernstein only eat icecream indoors. They love the inside scoop.

There is something fishy about a birdbrained dogmatic catastrophe.... horse.

Yadda Yadda Yadda I now have a speech impediment where I start every sentence with "yadda yadda yadda."

People learned to avoid Queen Nefertiti once a month when she was on her pyramid.

My shorter version of "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" is "Why squirt jizz on five boxed keg clamps?"

I tired to go Scooby Diving and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you lousy kids!

Yo' Mama so dumb she uses a letter opener for emails!

If a shot glass of a Martini is not called a Teeny-Tini it should be.

The Comedy Central Roast of Miss Piggy would be delicious.

In the intervening years one of the cast of Fuller House has been working in radio & leather processing. Probably DJ Tanner.

Kara Thrace from Battlestar Galactica sells male space deer out of a coffee shop. Starbuck's Starbucks Star Bucks.

Say what you want but at the end of the day is the period of darkness measured from the time from sunset to sunrise.

Fruit Fly DOES bother me.

Never assume because you make poor assumptions which I think you would see if you take a long, hard look at your "life."

I remember when my sister Ashley was eating corpses so we burnt her up and made Hungarian stew. Ghoul Ash Ghoul Ash Goulash.

Back in my day patches were not for video games but for the elbows of my tweed jackets!

I try not to judge... might help if I stopped carrying a gavel

If you think you are going to see little dogs dressed in safety gear and cutting wood or smelting ore you're gonna be disappointed at a puppy mill.