JordanMaywood

When it comes to sex I am like the Energizer bunny. I am covered in pink fur and play the drum.

Back in my day 'Bluetooth' was when you ate to many blueberries!

The wheels on the bang bus go both round and round as well as up and down.

When I die I want my ashes spread...on toast with butter!

Tame Tame East, Jimothy East, Banker, Smooth Rider.

Don Ho once hit me right in the face. A real Hawaiian Punch

When it comes to dildos one size fits moist.

Back in my day a "tramp stamp" was when a hobo mailed a letter!

There is one 'Fast and Furious' movie that is much worse than all the rest... If you catch my Tokyo Drift...

Fucking Hard or Hardly Fucking!?

Give a man a Phish album and you feed him for a day but his stomach will hurt cause you shouldn't eat albums...

Long story short the badger wasn't actually dead... Long story short you can't tune a lasagna... Long story short Cuban sand does not taste like fire fighter tears...

Whoooo Lives in a cantelope under the Ocean!? SpongeRobert RoundShorts.

It's been a while now and I wonder if anyone has really noticed the lack of pennies in Canada?

Airplane Food.

My wife hates it when I crack my knuckles after have sex with other girls.

Houston is most widely known for its food, music and gangbangs.

Duck what happens to you at the end of a meal out Platypus.

I like my collars how I like my weasels being chased by monkeys around the mulberry bush. #Popped

In Russia, Russia In.

A birds eye view is not so great if it's on the ground.

'Mericas Shopping List: Life Cereal, Liberte Yogurt and a Happiness Suite made or Purse's.

I am on the fence about having pickets shoved up my butt...

If you are shrunk down and trapped in a pickle jar you are in a real pickle jar pickle.

Barney Rubbles Kid and Emeril Lagasse are opening a fireworks factory.