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JordanMaywood

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Everything posted by JordanMaywood

  1. JordanMaywood
    See no Kenevil. Hear no Kenevil, Speak no Kenevil.
  2. JordanMaywood
    For some reason you never really hear about the Cottony and Polyestery Mammoths.
  3. JordanMaywood
    McGruff the Crime Dog must love catching cat-burglars...
  4. JordanMaywood
    The prices for the food tickets at the medieval festival were very reasonable. Fair Fare for Fair Fare
  5. JordanMaywood
    They say cranberry juice is good for a urinary tract infection but I tell you it hurts like hell getting it up there!
  6. JordanMaywood
    When you consider I was raised in a barn BY wolves I think I came out pretty good...
  7. JordanMaywood
    Don't get high off your own supply. Unless you are a ladder supplier and there is a cat stuck in a tree then come on buddy!
  8. JordanMaywood
    A bread bowl is all well and good but call me when they have a bread spoon!
  9. JordanMaywood
    "Krispy Kreme" sounds like an orgasm from a burn victim.
  10. JordanMaywood
    I think I will eventually drop acid because I am having Acid Flashforwards...
  11. JordanMaywood
    Monday mornings when I get to work I listen to AC/DC's 'Back in Blech.'
  12. JordanMaywood
    Tater Tots are so delicious that Tater Adults are virtually nonexistent.
  13. JordanMaywood
    Cindy Crawford and Orange were my first Crushes.
  14. JordanMaywood
    My idea for Cold Air Balloon rides never really seemed to take off...
  15. JordanMaywood
    Once you go black its likely you have frostbite.
  16. JordanMaywood
    In nineteen hundred & seventy two Columbo sailed the ocean blue & turned back at the last moment to ask just one more question
  17. JordanMaywood
    I like my social interactions how I like my diamonds. Conflict Free.
  18. JordanMaywood
    If your son or daughter is an executive then you are technically an executive producer.
  19. JordanMaywood
    A boat pulling a parachutist is paraphrasing parasailing. #JustTweets
  20. JordanMaywood
    Sign Signs everywhere Signs at the warehouse full of unsold M. Night Shamalan Laserdiscs.
  21. JordanMaywood
    Cows are like the Manatees of the land.
  22. JordanMaywood
    I am making a golf movie with Tiger Woods and Bugs Bunny called "Space Marmalade."
  23. JordanMaywood
    Yo' mama so poor that when she was pregnant with you she had a Normalsound.
  24. JordanMaywood
    Back in my day a wrap battle was when you pretended the cardboard wrapping paper tubes were swords!
  25. JordanMaywood
    Was it phenomenal or was the fun nominal?
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