Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

JordanMaywood

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    426

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by JordanMaywood

  1. JordanMaywood
    I like my bottles how I like my pills how I like collars how I like my corn how I like my Marys. Poppin
  2. JordanMaywood
    Unicorns must be super smart cause you never see any Technical-College-Corns...
  3. JordanMaywood
    When DJ BBQ told me he was getting "Grills" I was not sure if he meant for his teeth or his meats...
  4. JordanMaywood
    Sex, Lies, and these little plastic rectangles that used to hold movies on them for you youngsters...
  5. JordanMaywood
    You hardly ever see Indiana Jones Nae Nae.
  6. JordanMaywood
    I bet the makers of Jello feel what Bill Cosby has done for their brand is Gelatin Mutilation
  7. JordanMaywood
    I am opening the worlds first pushed pork sandwich shop called "Push it Squeal Good"
  8. JordanMaywood
    The members of 'Tears for Fears' are so old that they have changed their name to 'Tears for Wheelchairs'.
  9. JordanMaywood
    As far as I am concerned Batman has opened a Justice Dispensary.
  10. JordanMaywood
    I like my time how I like my cuts of beef. Prime.
  11. JordanMaywood
    If I worked at the Playboy mansion I would home from work.
  12. JordanMaywood
    I want to be buried right in the middle of the cemetery AKA Dead Centre.
  13. JordanMaywood
    'Ramekin' sounds like a sex move in the deep south.
  14. JordanMaywood
    I was in the car the other day and I hit a deer. Fucker knew I was sick and was aiming for potholes!
  15. JordanMaywood
    I'm a little rusty on what they call iron oxide that is formed on iron or steel by oxidation.
  16. JordanMaywood
    I've got a new lease on life but the monthly payments are killing me!
  17. JordanMaywood
    My glasses look so good I would say I am B-spectacled verging on A-spectacled even!
  18. JordanMaywood
    I ain't afraid of no g-g-g-g-g-g-g-ghosts!
  19. JordanMaywood
    I walked right there and demanded a raise! The elevator operator was happy to oblige.
  20. JordanMaywood
    Breast milk is a "Girlie Drink."
  21. JordanMaywood
    They call pigeons "rats with wings" which I don't think is fair... to hang-gliding rats.
  22. JordanMaywood
    I am so rich I have a heated pool... table!
  23. JordanMaywood
    I'd love to have Nicholas II of Russia on the Comedy Bang Bang TV Show as a Guest Star Guest Tsar.
  24. JordanMaywood
    There's a group of islands where texting is only allowed in parts of a cloth store. In the Text Isles Textiles Text Aisles.
  25. JordanMaywood
    Testicles are basically "Body Bags" and that's not even counting the smell!
×