JordanMaywood

I am a film lover but sometimes the reels cut my dick.

You've lost that loving feelin'. Oooh that Congenital Analgesia!

Those with heart conditions should stick with Tom Petty's solo work.

If looks could kill I would be the cure to cancer.

From General Mills I love Cheerios. From Specific Mills I love whole grain oats cooked and shaped into the letter 'O'

Does anyone know where I can get my cutting board sharpened cause its dull as fuck!

If I wanted your input Johnny 5 I would ask for it!

The only time I would pull a hamstring is if it was attached to a bell that would indicate to my butler to bring me ham.

I see Endor. I see Hoth, I see Leia's... loincloth

So maybe the neon "Girls! Girls! Girls" sign I made for the feminist rally was in slightly bad taste...

I am a little worried about christmas this year since my gravy stigmata was really bad last year.

I am really torn by my love of jumping into industrial shredding machines..

Receiving oral sex on my way out of town blows me away!

I found my first grey hair the other day... it was attached to an old homeless man so I am not too worried.

Make like a Red Hot Chilli Peppers bass player and flee, Make like a Snoop Dog story and high tale it, Make like Jack Torrance in a hedge maze and get lost.

After 5 bull riders were gored I knew my time as a Rodeo Mime was going to be cut short.

I wonder if eventually the word "Radioactive" will be replaced by "Podcastactive"...?

I put the 'ass men' in Harassment

Maybe Fred Flintstone is just agreeing your ABBA inspired haircut is ugly? "Yeah Bad ABBA doo!"

If you are Japanese do you eventually reach the point where anything pixilated turns you on? A sort of Pavlovs Dong?

I put the Abs in Absorbing tacos!

This land is your land. This land.... Hey! Where are you going with that land!?

A barrel of monkeys in only "fun" if they are still fresh.

Podcast!? More like Podracers amiirght Star Wars fans!?

1) Catch Phrase. Loose Phrase. We all Cream for Iced Phrase. 2) Welcome every BODY to the Show! Heck lets welcome every arm, leg and head as well! 3) If all the worlds a stage this podcast would be a stage coach because we are going places baby! 4) Podcast!? More like Pod Racer amiright!? Said really fast but don't read this part . (BUT actually do read that part but not this part) 5) By the power of Grey's Anatomy I have the Power!