JordanMaywood

If a "Man Purse" is called a "Murse" why is the version "or women" not a "Wurse" ? Hashtag Feminism.

If BB King and Q from Star Trek opened a restaurant it could be called "BBQ's BBQ" if the specialized in Barbecue that is...

I put nicotine patches on my revolver so that I am never caught with the smoking gun...

He who laughs last has the toughest time understanding jokes... Poor guy...

Splish Splush I was using a douche long about a Live From New York It's Saturday Night!

Paper towels. Loose Bowels. Pop your collar make 'em holler. Willful disobedience. Sour Cream.

They see me rollin' a D20. They Botching.

Call me crazy buy the voices in my head telling me to stick crayons up my butt sound like Estelle Getty in the Academy Award winning film "Stop! OR My Mom Will Shoot?"

'Blood, Sweat and Tears for Fears' is playing at the Alamo Draft Bowl.

You say Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. I say Attack of the Killer ToMAHtoes. Lets call the National Guard!

Geoff Charachter Oaties is like the frogger clone babies of Ceti Alpha Six !

Security! Can you get in here I am trying to start the show but there's a purple penguin on my seat! AGAIN!

I am thinking of opening a Starbucks staffed entirely by former Vine stars.

When bridge salesmen get fired they can burn their bridges by burning bridges.

Hawaiian Frankenstein's Monster was chased by tiki torch wielding villagers.

If laughter is the best medicine why do hyenas only live about 12 years or so!?

When I I ogle Boggle I picture Pictonary.

If you want to see REALLY classic beauty I recommend Lucy the Australopithecus.

The only kinks I like are the ones in my garden hose... that my mistress whips me with.

I found a book so good at teaching speed reading that I could put it down and quickly.

Ice Cream Cakes are so popular they actually sell like hot cakes...

I prefer The Fabulous 4. It's Time to Clobber!

"It's nice to be nice to the nice" said Frank Burns in the hit television show M asterisk A asterisk S asterisk H asterisk

Gilligan's Island!? More like the Howell's Island! Down with the 28.571429% !?

Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza. Round and hot or square and not. Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza. Pizza.