JordanMaywood

Peanut butter and Jellyfish!

Just because you act like Q doesn't mean you can snap your fingers and have your way!

Finally tired frisbee golf and I gotta say I find clubs will hit the ball MUCH farther!

In D&D I like to put the "Romance" in Necromancer!

Dance like no one's watching. Shit like no one's in the stall next to you.

Should it not be dancing ON the streets?

You lie like a rug! Is your name Miss. Leading !?

Just want to let everyone know at once that you should all keep a blanket in your car. This will be the only blanket reminder blanket reminder.

"Echo" is probably the word that is yelled the most yelled word.

They say you gotta take a Risk but try telling that to the board game salesman!

Would you rather it rain squid ink on alternating days OR A zombie like apocalypse strikes but people get turned into realty TV personalities?

We all experiment in college right? I for example looked into the hydrophobic properties of superconductive bio-engineered taco shells.

You can take the George out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of the George.

It had all the parts of a classic homicide. Motive. Opportunity. Weapon. Missing Cookies.

If the Cookie Monster cums inside you that's a guaranteed yeast infection... sorry when he crumbs inside you.

I take my steampunk so seriously that even my electric eels run on steam!

Lake Placid!? More like Lake Not Placid amiright!?

You can't spell "Gazebo Obscenities" without Boobs!

"Pigs in a Blanket" are not manly enough for me. I only eat "Wild Boar in a Burlap Sack."

My favorite Asian Aerosmith tribute band is "Sweet and Sour Emotions"

I am going to open a restaurant called "Pizza Pizza Pizza" and really cube the market on pizza

I have been told I look exactly like Bradd Pitt in an orgy... I could be his Doppelgangbanger.

Dogfish eat smaller fish but Snoop Doggfish eat seaWEED.

I only use ATM brand Automatic Teller Machines.

I have never been in a Sweat Lodge but I have enjoyed a Sweat American Craftsmen Bungalow.