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JordanMaywood

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Everything posted by JordanMaywood

  1. While in India I was shocked to see a naked Ellie Kemper in the newly opened delicatessen. Nude Ellie in New Deli in New Dehli.
  2. I'll have the revenge. Extra cold.
  3. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me once again and I am stuck in some sort of Groundhog Day scenario and shame on me.
  4. In space no one can hear you scream for ice cream...
  5. For some reason I get strange looks when I ask the vintage of my juice boxes...
  6. Fathers lock up your daughters! They are really mean to me....
  7. I have been taking ecstasy for years AKA Books! Support your local book dealer AKA Library.
  8. I am trading in my rocking chair for a smooth jazzing chair.
  9. Back in my day E-Sports was dropping some ecstasy, covering ourselves in oil and wrestling in a pool filled with jello!
  10. Am I a loser!? Well as the band Beck once said: "Love machines on the sympathy crutches. Discount orgies on the dropout buses..."
  11. JordanMaywood

    Episode 458 - Solo Bolo Cuatrolo

    Finally an answer to the question "What if you just listened to the musical parts of a solo bolo mommy?"
  12. I might be the worlds worst bee keeper and not even know it since I have no kept bees...
  13. Accidentally signed up for Wife Swamp. Hope The Widow Kulap is OK out there...
  14. I wouldn't kick her out of bread for eating crackers! Crumbs Regardless
  15. I think my least favorite jam has to be paper.
  16. Lactose Intolerant Vampires really hate Philly Cheese Stakes
  17. Snoop Dogg is going to be in the next season of Game of Thrones. He is voicing Puff the Magic Dragon.
  18. "Ernest Goes to the White House" would be a better option I think.
  19. Fuck Buddies rub their genipals together.
  20. I like my karate moves how I like my pork how I like my saws how I like my mutton named facial hair. #Chops
  21. I am up the creek with so many paddles that my canoe has sunk due to paddle weight
  22. JordanMaywood

    Episode 453 - Unblocked and Unlocked

    Mde a little vid with the Would You Rather Scenario:
  23. Cheese Please? Mozzarella May I? Can I Camembert? Gimme Gouda? Cheese Whiz or Die?
  24. We could not decide if we should use the voodoo doll or not and had to move on so we put a pin in it
  25. Living with Hacksaw Jim Duggan was great cause I had free room and board and board.
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