JordanMaywood
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Posts posted by JordanMaywood
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The wheels on the bang bus go both round and round as well as up and down.
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When I die I want my ashes spread...on toast with butter!
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Tame Tame East, Jimothy East, Banker, Smooth Rider.
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Don Ho once hit me right in the face. A real Hawaiian Punch
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When it comes to dildos one size fits moist.
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Back in my day a "tramp stamp" was when a hobo mailed a letter!
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There is one 'Fast and Furious' movie that is much worse than all the rest... If you catch my Tokyo Drift...
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Fucking Hard or Hardly Fucking!?
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Give a man a Phish album and you feed him for a day but his stomach will hurt cause you shouldn't eat albums...
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Long story short the badger wasn't actually dead... Long story short you can't tune a lasagna... Long story short Cuban sand does not taste like fire fighter tears...
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Whoooo Lives in a cantelope under the Ocean!? SpongeRobert RoundShorts.
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It's been a while now and I wonder if anyone has really noticed the lack of pennies in Canada?
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Airplane Food.
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My wife hates it when I crack my knuckles after have sex with other girls.
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Houston is most widely known for its food, music and gangbangs.
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Duck what happens to you at the end of a meal out Platypus.
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I like my collars how I like my weasels being chased by monkeys around the mulberry bush. #Popped
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In Russia, Russia In.
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A birds eye view is not so great if it's on the ground.
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'Mericas Shopping List: Life Cereal, Liberte Yogurt and a Happiness Suite made or Purse's.
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I am on the fence about having pickets shoved up my butt...
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If you are shrunk down and trapped in a pickle jar you are in a real pickle jar pickle.
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Barney Rubbles Kid and Emeril Lagasse are opening a fireworks factory.
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See no Kenevil. Hear no Kenevil, Speak no Kenevil.
Back in my day 'Bluetooth' was when you ate to many blueberries!
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Back in my day 'Bluetooth' was when you ate to many blueberries!