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About Joven

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  1. Joven

    Santa with Muscles (1996)

    Need some festive music for the holidays, something about celebrating friends and family to get into the christmas spirit?
  2. Did you people stare at a neon sign for too long, why are you talking about Jason like he has anything to do with this movie? If it wasnt for the honor system I'd ban all you loonies, I swear to ya!
  3. To tie it nicely to HDTGM, one of the characters does insult another by calling them a dildo, as Jason is wont to do. Theres kind of a lot to talk about in this movie, random things like what is the piece of farm equipment at the end, lady flashing herself in the mirror, outhouse duet serenade, and every second momma is on screen. Its also remarkable how much the main character looks like an older Corey Feldman, its pretty uncanny...perfect casting choice... Theres a really good iriff rifftrax available for this, which means I've watched this movie an unreasonable amount of times - http://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/hor-riff-ic-friday-the-13th-part-v (they've also done other HDTGM Halloween movies Halloween 3 and Sleepaway Camp.)
  4. Umm, excuse me, but Jeff Goldblum used a Mac... I take my ID4 lore VERY SERIOUSLY!
  5. From the IMDB quote page: "I saw... its thoughts. I saw what they're planning to do. They're like locusts. They're moving from planet to planet... their whole civilization. After they've consumed every natural resource they move on... and we're next. Nuke 'em. Let's nuke the bastards. " Even if there were other aliens, that whole distress signal thing is pretty crappy, it would take eons for the signal to reach the other ships...remember, these are aliens who needed to hijack our crappy satellites to actually communicate with each other on the other side of the planet, communications technology is clearly not their strong suit. I watched that movie way too damn many times, I take my ID4 lore very seriously, lol.
  6. Was it the same race of aliens? Or did they maybe stretch their think muscles to come up with a new one? Because it was established in the first movie that that was the entirety of that alien race's civilization which was destroyed.
  7. Joven

    Double Down (2005)

    Birdemic made more sense, and was a much much better put together movie too. Like at any given time you could at least describe a scene. "Oh, this is a scene where they need water, so wander aimlessly into the woods and meet a kindly wig enthusiast. Hark, a mountain lion approaches and bark beetles are borning down the forest for insurance money, time to flee." I dont think there were more than 2 or 3 coherent scenes in this entire movie, and thats stretching the definition of coherent quite a bit to get that many.
  8. Joven

    Double Down (2005)

    So I just watched this (in case anyone wondering, that link up there is the whole movie free on youtube)...and while I don't think it would make a good episode, its worth a watch, but I have questions. Mainly ones like, "Huh!?", "But, wait, what!?" and "No seriously, what the flying fuck?" Basically it brings to mind if like Meltdown and Jay Sherman's student film in The Critic had a crack baby that they then dropped on its head multiple times and vigorously rubbed a chunk of fool's gold into the wounds instead of taking it to the doctor. Also, I guess we're supposed to cheer the fact that a guy who is a terrorist for no reason decided to be slightly less terroristy at the last moment for no reason? And to connect with him as he seemingly gives up the terroristing by destroying his computers (which by the way was established he needed to constantly keep with him in order to not set off many other terroristalogical attacks he himself set up as a dead-man's switch thing...) Also, this movie had an editor! I don't fucking buy it. There were 2 even, if you count the lead/director/producer/caterer. So, other than the main character, who is the villain in this movie? Chronologically, what the fuck? Also what happened, if anything, over the course of this movie? Who was "him", and why would someone who is angered over the loss of his own fiance who was killed to get to him be so easy to go along with a "kill this guy's loved ones to get to him" plan? Who drinks a glass of champagne with a whole strawberry in it? What branch of the military's uniforms are denim vests? How did they know he would step in that gum? How do you hack into an 80s Ferrari with a cell phone? WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?! Basically, this movie would have made more sense if it was about a sentient KFC Double Down.
  9. Joven

    The Lake House (2006)

    Clearly you haven't posted the reply from 3 months ago yet. 2 years down the road after HDTGM finally do this episode you used the StumbleUpon extension to wind up at an old geocities site with a bunch of animated mailbox gifs, that had a webring link that took you to this thread from Feb 10th, where you thought you havent posted yet and needed to rectify that.
  10. Joven

    Episode 133 - The Quest

    It wasn't the announcers, it was just Maxie, who I'm fairly certain hadn't been hired by the tournament in any official capacity. Unless he preemptively applied for it just in case JCVD lost the first round and needed a job at his new residence.
  11. Joven

    Episode 133 - The Quest

    I guess a catch-up, I've been listening to Decoder Ring Theatre, a podcast that does shows in the style of old fashioned radio plays. I've recently finished all the currently released ones of the pulp hard boiled detective series Black Jack Justice, which was really good. Can't say I like their other show, The Red Panda Adventures, nearly as much though. Its OK, I guess, its like a more lighthearted and Canadian version of The Shadow, performances are OK but its not really my thing. They only come out once a month though, and tend to alternate between Black Jack Justice and Red Panda Adventures, with some side stuff coming in the middle of the month sometimes, so theres not a huuge amount of content that comes out regularly, but its all well acted and a lot of effort has clearly been put into it.
  12. Joven

    Episode 133 - The Quest

    Did she though? On one hand, she says her father owns the paper, but I got the sense that she saw through Dobbs' nonsense but found him interesting, and was inflating her own importance. So, oh, you're a lord...well my father owns the New York Times. Having fun by bullshitting a bullshitter. I mean I'm not 100% sure on that, one could make the case that if she wasn't connected why would they send her across the world to "get her out of our hair" instead of just firing her...but on the other hand, if she was, why would you ever tell her that? Plus, the guy on the phone didn't recognize her by her by name immediately.
  13. Joven

    Episode 133 - The Quest

    So maybe it was just the version I watched, and theres a directors cut with 2 seconds extra footage, but why didn't China vs Brazil warrant an announcement? That was the only one in the movie I believe where the fighters just popped into the ring to fight each other on their own. Was it an editing mistake, or was it somewhat unsanctioned and the Chinese fighter was getting psyched into his monkey role for the next match, and the Brazilian was wearing a Carmen Miranda hat and everything just spiraled out of control? And the tournament judges, being kinda loosey goosey already, just rolled with it?
  14. Joven

    Episode 133 - The Quest

    So I was hoping in order to tie G Gundam into this movie a bit more that Neo-Mongolia would have been something good, like a Genghis Khan theme or something, but it was just kinda bland. Specially compared to Neo-Egypt, which is a giant robotic mummy, which is piloted by an actual mummy, or Tequila Gundam of Neo-Mexico (which itself is a giant space sombrero/cactus). The crowning jewel I guess, even more so than the windmill gundam, or the one with a literal viking ship attached is Zebra Gundam: So, in a step above The Quest, instead of being from Africa as a whole, they at least made it from Kenya. Also in a bit of a correction, they said the Spanish fighter was just in slacks, but it looked like he was going for a bull fighter kind of motif. Although I don't know how round kicks to the face would play against a bull. And he kind of had a Xena style thing he did when attacking that was kinda weird. Maybe bull fighters do that, too? At any rate all I know about Spain and fighting is about bulls, they fight bulls and they run from bulls, so of course if they were to build a giant robot to represent their country's martial prowess... Also, in the Spain vs Russia fight, again playing to the stereotypes of Spanish guys being suave womanizers, they had him give a sensual look to the reporter lady that just really emphasized the fact that she is literally the only woman there. (at least in Bloodsport there were a couple other random background ladies all dressed up pretending like the Kumite was some special event and not just basically a warehouse half the size of a middle school basketball court crammed full of unwashed peasants with a single platform in the middle and hard wooden benches.)