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Joven

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Posts posted by Joven

  1. Posted

    hardest working people on the whole film... and the nurse after everyone fell off the blades

     

    2uhs5f5.jpg

     

    Damn, Cereal is such a legit hacker they even broke the boundaries of the fourth wall and consulted with him about it. Yo, no wonder he feels like god at the end.

    • Like 1

  2. Posted

    Just a few corrections:

    Its not "the internet" that they are in and representing with the city computer, its a single computer system (the Gibson).

     

    The light emanating in the dark wasn't from a modem, it was from a laptop which had a modem, they were impressed that it had a 28.8kbps modem, which goes to show how slow their other ones must have been.

     

    It wasn't a body suit in Angelina's dream that Dade was wearing, it was a dress. Because of the bet, she was imagining it and seemingly way into it.

     

    The green snack (some kind of sour licorice rope is what i would think) didn't happen in the middle of the attack, it was while he was threatening Dade's mom.

     

    ---

     

     

    3. The scene where Nikon realizes that Jonny Lee Miller's character is the famed Zero Cool, he acts surprised to learn that Zero Cool isn't black. Did the 12 year-old Zero Cool hack in a certain race-based way?

     

    I'm assuming most all details about him would have been obscured due to him being a minor (otherwise Nikon should have remembered them), so he just imposed his own identity onto him. Although the relatively lenient sentencing would have been a good tip-off that he wasn't actually black.

     

    Its also kinda weird how Cereal is both incredibly flakey but ultimately reliable. Plus in his favor, that he knew what Dade meant when he shouted about how the government was TRASHING OUR RIGHTS! Point against...that he proceeded to yell loudly HACK THE PLANET! right in the middle of a crowd of people surrounded by police who probably had his picture, since the arrest warrants went out included him.

     

    Speaking of the arrest warrants, how did they know their hacker aliases? I buy they knew Dade's, since theyve been in contact, but was like Lord Nikon ever even on their radar? I guess Joey just spilled everything.

     

    One last thing, so we are with Agent Gill as he is getting his flood of phone calls after the personal ad, but one thing always stuck out to me. Seemingly those are calls that are starting when he picks them up, or messages left on his phone that hes trying to go through that would presumably play from the beginning. But we never hear why they call that one gentleman Stallion. Is he just really bad at creepy phone sex? As soon as the phone picks up he's already almost done with his call. Why do they call him Stallion?!

    • Like 3

  3. Posted

    Really good riff, although I had to crank the volume past 100% to hear anything, but then again thats mostly the movie's fault since the paper rustling and random music cues came in loud and clear.

     

    Also seriously, until I saw the in title of this thread just now that this was a 2012 movie i thought it would have been made in like '99 at the latest. I dont know,

     

    I cant believe in addition to the hideout being a music room, its referred to as "the warehouse". I swear there was going to be another hideout or something when Dragon told Zdar to get agent fuckup down to "the warehouse", and then they immediately had the scene in the music room with them drinking and then he got knocked out and woke up in the same place...

     

    Also for supposedly being such great shots as established in the shooting range flirting(?) scene, our heroes have incredibly bad aim, they could barely even hit those guys during the drive-by(?) shooting scene. I mean you'd expect the bad guys to have shitty aim, but its like the person setting up the gun fights saw The Naked Gun and didn't realize it was a comedy and thought thats what badass gunfights looked like? and I'll just leave this here http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BehindAStick

  4. Posted

     

    In a completely unrelated topic, I think there are people out there who redraw action pictures from DC and Marvel comics with male characters in the poses that are normally drawn for the female ones. It leads to some preposterous poses and suggestion butt action and is a very witty way of showing how the depiction of male and female characters differs.

     

    Yeah, just google The Hawkeye Initiative. There's also people who try to replicate in real life the poses from comics covers, to see how impossible they are anatomically, since turns out comic characters don't have organs they need to worry about, or some/a lot of artists don't know how bodies work.

    • Like 5

  7. Posted

    I'm really on the fence with it, I'll watch whatever they make, but I'm not gonna donate for several reasons. (mainly that since the main difference to rifftrax would be the host segments, and I really didn't like any of the non-riffing bits from Cinematic Titanic)

     

    I'm not really married to the old cast, at least in riffing (especially since currently I feel that the Rifftrax crew are well behind any of the good iriff groups, so its not like nobody else can do it except the ones who already have), but it did take a while for Bill to get into the groove of Crow, and with a relatively small amount of episodes not sure getting used to not just 2 new people manning the bots that are so iconic at this point, but also probably a new human could maybe be a bit hard. Plus trading on nostalgia is one thing, but at least from what I know, Joel is basically the only connection to the old show and probably wouldnt be onscreen afaik, so its harder to see it as a continuation kinda thing.

     

    I'm mostly sure it won't suck, but not all that sure it will be awesome.

    • Like 2

  8. Posted

    1. The Stabilizer - put on your best leopard print pants and mesh shirt combo, settle in a take a load off your cleated feet, grab a live iguana for a snack, pour some champagne on your lady and follow the location map to action.

     

    2. Lady in the Water - narf! nuff said

     

    3. Equilibrium - who knew that portraying all the characters in a movie as wooden emotionless drones could be bad? At least it taught me that the best thing to do in a gunfight is stand stock still and pretend im a water sprinkler except with bullets.

     

    4. Mission Impossible 2 - the story of Ethan Hunt running and jumping around like a kid at recess, also spinning. Somewhere around him a movie happens.

     

    5. The Covenant - majick boyz, good movies can kiss its ass.

    • Like 3

  9. Posted

     

    Wait, so you're telling me that a white guy wasn't the last samurai?

     

    It was, in fact it was literally Tom Cruise. He used the powers he gained from scientology to travel to feudal Japan and he dazzled the ancient world with his incredible super powers, his weird jittery mannerisms, super fast running and pale skin, thus being the inspiration for all anime. I believe his story was documented and used as the basis for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3.

    • Like 4

  11. Posted

    Just a few quick things cause thats all this movies worth.

     

    "Oh gee, my car battery is dead and I need you to jumpstart my car so I cant just drive away from the creepy invasive douche all up in my grill. My car is such an unreliable heap in fact that this will actually be the only time in the entire movie that its unreliability will ever come up, or even be mentioned as a way to justify this encounter."

     

    Is the impression I'm supposed to get during the simulated sex aerobics class, that JLC altered her routine to be more sexual in an attempt to flirt with Travolta? Because thats kinda what it seems like, and yeah, I guess its working as a way to flirt with Travolta, but if anyone wants to bother going back and watching that again, it seems to be working way more on the black lady on the row in front of Travolta. She is way more into it than basically anybody else in the movie is into anything.

     

    In a rare bit of complimenting the movie on actual competence, since I didn't want to really watch the sweaty aerobics I was specifically looking in the multitude of mirrors to see if I could catch a glimpse of the camera crew. And maybe its just my eyes + my tv, but I don't think I ever saw them. So it seems like they kinda got at least one thing right.

     

    Also I know they kinda mentioned in the episode, but I really can't get over how when he's pitching his story to his editor he presents it as a new novel idea, and the editor agrees and really likes it. Then about the first thing JLC says to him is like "god, are you doing ANOTHER one of those 'gyms are the singles clubs of the 80s' stories?" He's certainly a pioneering force in his field.

    • Like 2

  12. Posted

    Id just like to point out again, that the bulk of this movie is pointless. They discover no extra power (internal/emotional, or external/magical/technological) on Earth that would increase their ability to fight Skeletor and his forces. Kevin and Julie are useless in the battle that ensues when they arrive at Eternia for the final showdown as either moral, medical or martial support. Skeletor's forces are actually more powerful when they arrive with the addition of the mercenaries and Skeletor's enhanced power, and He-man having been whipped and beaten in the meantime.

     

    The beginning of this movie has the heroes fighting Skeletor on Eternia, and they run away overwhelmed. They gain nothing on Earth to help them, and their only goal is to return to Eternia. When they do, they are in a worse position than when they began. The entire Earth detour was effectively useless.

     

    The only thing that changed is now principal Strickland is there with his seemingly magic boom-stick that he would have ejected all the rounds out of before ever firing since he pumps it every time he speaks. Conclusion; the reason they gave him the castle and woman is because principal Strickland is in fact the hero of the movie who single-handedly tipped the scales of power into the favor of good.

    • Like 3

  13. Posted

    Anybody else notice that the warehouse from the battle scene has a neon sign out front that says PIZZA backwards? Was the warehouse specifically designed to store pizza toppings?

     

    It was a real missed opportunity to raise the stakes a little. A laser blast causes a box of toppings to explode. "Not the pepperoni! Pepperoni is my favorite!"

     

    As the rifftrax for this I watched pointed out, the sign was just there to show that the movie was asinine (assi9).

  14. Posted

    Corrections and Omissions:

     

    So what happened to the past versions of Courteney Cox and Robert Duncan McNeill?!

     

    If Cox and McNeill physically travel back in time (like they physically traveled to Eternia) then there must be past versions of themselves Wang Chunging it up in suburbia. So do future Cox and McNeill go into hiding so that that their dopey past selves can live their lives blissfully unaware that in an alternate timeline they had a stupid adventure with a greased up prince and mini-me Phil Spector? Or do they kill their past selves? I hope the script for the sequel at least addressed the time paradox they created.

     

    They could have just merged, what really is the paradox is what happened to the past principal Strickland?

    • Like 1

  16. Posted

    2) At about the 1:09:20 mark you can see the Sword of Grayskull fall off of He-Man's back as he runs through a door. Busch league...

     

    Eh, don't worry, he has it in the very next scene. It's magic, it probably just does that on its own.

     

    I will kinda agree that he-man is barely the hero of the film. He does barely anything, and isn't ever shown to be any more powerful than anyone else except at the very end when the plot dictates he has to be.

     

    My favorite part of the movie is how it was all completely pointless. Their big plan was to get back to Eternia and mount a direct assault on Skeletor and his forces...which is exactly what they were doing in the first place when they decided to run away instead. Their trip to Earth gave them no tactical or even magical advantage or advancement and didn't even give any character development that would help them. Was principal Strickland that much of an asset to their cause that he alone tipped the scales in the favor of good?

     

    Also, what happened to him. Sure he stays in Eternia with that woman who was just randomly here...but when time goes backwards on Earth, where's he? Are there two of him now? does history just rewrite itself and he never existed, or for all everyone on Earth knows he just vanished, the evidenceless disappearance of a police officer in a relatively small town fueling paranoia and fear amongst the citizenry, or at least lots of speculation and character assassination against him as he's made a scapegoat for whatever local corruption there is?

    • Like 1

  18. Posted

    So all the mancrotch stuff reminds me, I wonder if they'll comment on how many times Principal Strickland cocks his shotgun needlessly. Its like how he begins and ends sentences like its a verbal tick but with ejecting rounds from a weapon. At the end of the movie when he actually has to do any fighting he should have tried to fire and just looked down bewildered at his gun and wondered aloud where all his ammo could have gone as he stands atop a mountain of unused 12 gauge cartridges.

    • Like 7

  20. Posted

     

    The military vehicle was kind of mind boggling ... I was looking at it wondering who the hell could drive this thing as there was no seat, and the the peddles were like just a foot or so below the flatbed. But it does appear to be a legit military vehicle (U.S. Military M274 Truck, Platform, Utility 1/2 Ton, 4X4) though I think they slapped on the machine gun and the seat appears to be missing.

     

    M274_drawing.jpg

     

    There is no way this is a practical mobile machine gun. anyone standing and firing on this thing is only held on by their grip on the gun which looks like it's wobbly is F*CK. Not to mention firing it will be expelling lots of brass on the deck of the platform making turning and pivoting to attack a different target a real treat.

     

    So, I too was baffled by that stupid thing and looked it up the other day, and yes it is a legit military vehicle. As its name M274 Mule would imply its mostly for transporting things, but was also fitted with rocket launchers occasionally. Haven't really seen anything outside of Maximum Overdrive to suggest it would have had a machine gun mounted on it, as it wouldnt be a frontline thing, so its really an odd vehicle to try and use and have it make sense. Like a freakin Willy's Jeep would have probably been way easier to obtain, more common, cheaper and made more sense to have a machine gun on it, and people are really used to seeing military jeeps with machine guns on them in movies. Clearly they chose it simply because it was easier to hide all the remote control shit, and just going with "eh, its olive drab and it has a gun, close enough, people will get the idea."

     

    Also, not sure if its been brought up, but since the gang were making Breaking Bad jokes, that guy in the arcade who said "yo mama"...was electrocuted because he put his hand on an arcade cabinet which would have been made of MDF and plastic which would be non-conductive. My immersion, ya'll.

    • Like 1

  21. Posted

    Yeah the short story was titled "Trucks" and the second movie follows it a little better in that the characters have really no idea why the machines have begun attacking them. It's more straightforward than Overdrive which is flat out bonkers, but I feel it's a worse movie. There are some great crazy scenes like the toy truck curb stomping a mailman and the hazmat kill scene, but other than that it's pretty boring. If you have Prime you can watch it for free but do it only for a couple scenes.

     

    I still contend that Trucks is the better movie of the two. (like from a technical, storytelling, editing, etc standpoint. Maximum Overdrive is still the better HDTGM movie, however.)

  22. Posted

    In the other Trucks movie, Trucks, the trucks just drove by the pumps a lot and honked at them until they got the message. Also they recognized that the guy who worked at the gas station was the one who controlled the fuel and narrowly yet deliberately avoided killing him a couple times to drive the message home they wanted him for something, but no morse code even though they had a guy from the air force in the movie who presumably could have translated.

     

    Also, the drainage pipe that you still have to run through a bunch of trucks to get to made an appearance in that movie too, but in that one the trucks were one step ahead and dealt with it in a really good way (although the point of the drainage pipe was even dumber than it was in Maximum Overdrive, so I guess I'll take that point back.) Was that in the short story?

    • Like 1

  23. Posted

    Just watched Trucks, and i would say it's definitely the better movie, but Maximum Overdrive is the better HDTGM movie.

     

    Although there's still plenty to talk about in Trucks, like how in order to deal with a massive explosion and chemical leak, the government sends 2 guys, and in order to deal with a region wide blackout the power company just sends one guy.

     

    And how when somebody grabs Air Force dad's daughter's arm to hurry her along he says "hey take it easy with the offspring pal."

     

    Rules of vehicular possession is still random too, cars seem to be fine, same with motorcycles, but anything truck like is a target for coming alive, even a toy. Minivans count as cars, but Pickup trucks count as trucks and not cars, and things inside trucks can come alive too, also helicopters.

     

    Better writing, directing, storytelling (not that it was a very high bar to meet) Better ending too. The survivors of Rays, are presumably not still survivors. (shoulda went on a boat, but no, let's trust the heelacopteraerialplane to not be evil.)

    • Like 1

  25. Posted

    My biggest concern with the rocket launcher was with the scene in which it was introduced. Bubba, the manager guy (or whatever he was) fires it a truck that is directly behind 4 people who are running straight at him, causing them to have to dive into the dirt face first. Did he not notice that four people were running and screaming towards him in his line of fire? Maybe it's just me, but whenever I fire a rocket launcher I make sure that the stars of the movie are nowhere near in front of me.

     

    Its also incredibly easy to fire those, all that shoulder mounting stuff on the bottom and aiming reticle malarky on the top are just for show to make it look that much more badass when you fire it from the hip like you're Tony Montana.

     

    Also, it was 100% unloaded when the waitress grabbed it to do her encore performance of "WE MADE YOU!", (Bubba had just fired it at the Cat and got murdled by the machine gun hoopty immediately after and then she grabbed it) Yet when she died it fired off another rocket into the air like it was a signal flare.

    • Like 1
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