Fuck you, hotdog

[Fuck you, hotdog]

...

[Garrison Keillor: Humorist. Raconteur. World class pussy hound.]

Minor correction: According to octogenarian author Judith Krantz, "world-class pussy-hound" should be hyphenated:

 

https://books.google.ca/books?id=dcQ3QqE7RnUC&pg=PA93&lpg=PA93&dq=World+class+pussy+hound&source=bl&ots=mZqXEr3pPC&sig=HkkL0tlmmbEY-jVI9lCcSFuFl2Q&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjv_ZutwvPVAhVGiVQKHWdIDBMQ6AEILjAB#v=onepage&q=World%20class%20pussy%20hound&f=false

[Video killed the radio star (and also the Glendale, Wisconsin little league team, but that's a story for another song)]

...

[By your logic, Penicillin is an expression of merriment or amusement.]

Or something

[And now you know why my nickname is "Spaghetti and Meatballs"]

...

[As most of you know, today is the anniversary of what is possibly the worst tragedy to ever befall our nation. Rest in peace, John Ritter]

For the Sept 11 show

[Jimmy Durante. A truck full of stolen wigs. And a year's supply of horsemeat. Miriam, you've done it again]

...

[Well here’s a little story bout a grass named Corn / Poor stemmy plant always got his cobbies shorn / But then one day he miraculously gained the powe]

I hear Tim Burton has optioned this story for his next movie, Big Ears

[Well here’s a little story bout a grass named Corn / Poor stemmy plant always got his cobbies shorn / But then one day he miraculously gained the powe]

Cute story, but the ending was a bit corny

[Turds fail me]

...

[What you're doing is rubbing your shit all over the walls, figuratively speaking. If you want any respect around here, you'll have to do it literally]

...

[My landlord says he hates the theater but for some reason I have to produce Rent a dozen times a year]

Magnifico! For a split second I thought a different user had written this one, but then I read your name and the world made sense again.

[Elvis lives!]

Bump

[Our relationship got off to kind of a rocky start: I bought some turtle food from her but she mostly ignored me]

...

[Hey guys, this is just a reminder to watch your cholesterolstello levels]

...

[Life is like a box of chocolates: After awhile you'll have to take it away from grandma for her own good]

...

[Episode 115 - The Stepford Wives (w/ Carina Chocano)]

Had not seen this before, but knew what a "Stepford Wife" was.

A good reason to include it in the Canon.

 

In hindsight, perhaps that's what made Get Out a better viewing experience: not knowing the details of the scheme.

In 45 years, people will know the details of the scheme in Get Out. Does that mean they shouldn't watch it?

[The road to success isn't always easy. Take me, for instance. I had to murder my parents and make it look like an accident. You think that was easy?]

It was actually fairly easy.

[It was 80s night at a local club, but they wouldn't let me in even though I am clearly in my 80s]

I am in my 80s because I was born in the 80s

[He's pooping what we're all peeing]

...

[Now you know why they call me the Comeback Kid! Because of all the come on my back]

...

[Episode 114 - 9 to 5 vs. The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (w/ Alan Scherstuhl)]

Rhinestone

[www.colfaxmcliverneck.corn]

...

[On your mark... get set... moustache!]

...

[I inadvertently caused some controversy at the garden center today, until a staff member kindly informed me that it's not that kind of hoe]

groan