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Days Won
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Posts posted by Dale Cooper Black
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There's a lot more horsemeat in this jello pudding pop than I was expecting
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Did you ever see the episode of Larry King where he pronounced it "buh-jork"?
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'Twas classic Larry.
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I'm trapped in a prison of my own making; my land development company built this facility before I was jailed for corruption
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Sorry, I can't engage with your right now - I need to mindlessly scroll through my phone's default settings
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Intelligo conceptus tuos in dolore.
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What part of "briff mawp grabble" don't you understand?
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My parrot is mute; luckily, I can read beaks
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This morning I encountered a creature who was part robot, part zombie. Spoiler alert: It was my own reflection
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What's up, President Hot Dog?
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I have half a mind to sue the doctor that performed my hemispherectomy
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Hey roomie, do you know if these prison jumpsuits are 100% cotton?
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Jimmy Kimmel never gets, don't you know Bruce Banner yet?
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Hey Rocky, watch me pull a baby outta my cootch
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While he's unable to attend this press conference in person, I can assure you that Mr. Fonzarelli admits his error and offers his sincerest apologies.
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If we're being honest, you were off-tempo and your Lindy Flip needs work. If we're being lying sacks of shit, ya nailed it!
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My dog waves his paws in the air, like he just don't care.
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Are you Canadian? Because you smell Canadian.
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And the Lord sayeth unto them, "There shall be no gathering like that of an S Club gathering."
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Honey, we may need to rethink our vacation plans – the Star Trek Ultimate Voyage Concert Tour is coming to town!
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Bad news, men – we're gonna have to re-peen this entire unit.
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I've heard of absurdism, but this is just ridiculous!
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Thanks for your feedback, but just to be clear – is that zero stars out of four, or out of five?
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If you had to build a full Ikea Liatorp system with one of these celebrities, who would you choose?
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Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber
Sir Garry Marshall
Cake Boss
Daniel Day Lewis
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As you trudge through life, remember this: From the dawn of time through countless centuries, nothing great was ever really accomplished by anybody.
This shit is ripe for the taking
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This shit is ripe for the taking