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Pure Guava

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Everything posted by Pure Guava

  1. Pure Guava
    They say there's no higher honor than winning an Oscar, I guess they never met Judge Parker, he smokes crack 24/7.
  2. Pure Guava
    You may assess that my absence is due to access to excess Absinthe, allow me to address this ingress with finesse before you oppress my progress. To suppress would be to transgress, do you possess such largesse to distress? But I digress, let me take off this headdress and redress into something that will impress, unless you want me nude, in that case let us caress.
  3. Pure Guava
    Cum to the gym to work off all those calories, ammirite ladies??? Ladies??
  4. Pure Guava
    Wenceslas: Good king, bad name
  5. Pure Guava
    If you have a neck, and it's the color red....you just might be a redneck
  6. Pure Guava
    Who watches the Watchmen? The Watchmen watchers. Who watches the Watchmen watchers? The Watchmen watcher watchers. Who watches the Watchmen watcher watchers? The Watchmen watcher watcher watchers. Etc. Ad infinitum
  7. Pure Guava
    Black mirror? I can't see nothin'.
  8. Pure Guava
    Shingle bells, shingle bells, itching all the way
  9. Pure Guava
    Technically, all chefs are panhandlers
  10. Pure Guava
    Topical
  11. Pure Guava
    A lot of you are wondering...yes I do blast the cast with my pee
  12. Pure Guava

    Let pee who cast the blast get stoned first

    Pure Guava replied to Pure Guava's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Topical
  13. Pure Guava
    Let pee who cast the blast get stoned first
  14. Pure Guava
    You may say that I'm a lemur but I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us but it will have to be on Madagascar, because that is our habitat
  15. Pure Guava
    The eyes have it....sight that is
  16. Pure Guava
    You say toma-no-to-anal, I say toma-yes-to-anal, let's call the whole thing off
  17. Pure Guava
    If your brother from another mother sleeps with your sister from another mister is it considered incest? Asking for a friend.
  18. Pure Guava
    There's a million things I haven't done, just you wait. :::farts::: OK, there's now 999,999 things I haven't done, just you wait
  19. Pure Guava
    An apple a day keeps the doctor away; He didn't go through 8 years of medical school to be paid in fruit, you cheap bastard
  20. Pure Guava
    RE: catchphrase submissions by a celeb: I am Charlie Kaufmann I am Dan Harmon I am Sam I yam what I yam One of these statements is true. I'll leave it a mystery.
  21. Pure Guava
    We're jammin'. And I hope you like jammin' too. Cause grandma has a basement full of these damn strawberries, they aren't going to preserve themselves.
  22. Pure Guava
    ABCDEFG...if you don't keep going ASAP my OCD is going to go WTF, AKA FUBAR. BTW, let's take that LSD that my BFF made because IMHO YOLO, OK? IIRC, the FBI and CIA caused him to go AWOL, they said he'd BRB but LMFAO, I know he's in prison. BYE
  23. Pure Guava
    And a Partridge Family in a Pear Tree. A-ha! I have finally completed decorating my orchard with DVD box sets.
  24. Pure Guava
    That cardiac surgeon really tugged at my heartstrings
  25. Pure Guava
    The new waffle iron lung makes late-stage emphysema delicious
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