Pure Guava

Premature ejaculate comedy cums in threes (seconds)

Nothing like a big plate of Kansas City Barbed-B-Q to satisfy my hunger and rip a hole in my larynx.

The Wizard of Schnoz will grant you your nose job, and if you want your boobs done come to his office in the Emerald Titty

The Illuminaughty control the world's banking system and like to get a little X-rated if you know what I mean

Huh?

I got two turntables and a micropenis. I'm D.J. Low Self-Esteem, available for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

Dude.

Quality over quantity, ammirite fellas?

Boast-It Notes allow you to show off on little squares of paper.

Do flat-Earthers think other planets are flat as well? This is not a catchphrase submission, I'm sincerely asking a question here.

Had to check 3-4 times to make sure Dax Shepard wasn't on the show today. If Tim Baltz doesn't have a Dax Shepard impression in his quiver of comedy now is the time for him to add to his arsenal. I'm sure it will come handy, especially with the Best Dax Shepard Impression Awards (The Daxies) coming up this Fall.

Heavy is the 300 pound head that wears the crown.

#Bajillion (363/400)

Scrotum Poles went out of fashion once the Native Americans figured out that wood is much easier to carve than skin.

I cannot tell a lie. I chewed the cherry tree down like a beaver. I think I'm going to need teeth. I heard wood dentures are hip this season.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting then everybody was kung-fu apologizing then everybody was kung-fu beer drinking then everybody was kung-fu cab calling then everybody was kung-fu sleeping.

Love all the Comic-Corn videos you have uploaded, that exclusive Kernel America trailer was epic

Game of Thrones Spoiler: Sansa and Arya backpack around Essos for a year to discover great food, have fun, fall in love, and maybe, just maybe learn a little about themselves along the way.

If you're gonna pepper spray me at least have the decency to add some salt, these eye potatoes aren't going to season themselves.

Baa-baa black sheep have you any wool? Look at the nutso talking to sheep again.

This is the show where we pray in interesting steeples

This is the show where we look through interesting peepholes

This is the show where we talk to interesting pee-holes

This is the show where we talk to interesting people

There’s a condor over yonder I need to launder before it ponders why it doesn’t wander away.