Pure Guava

Cannibals are the only people who can truly claim they eat a breakfast of champions. They say that winners taste better but I’m not going to verify.

The reason you see so many fat dyslexics is because they order a dozen bakers.

Pogohauntas loves to jump all over Jamestown.

Dead baseball players hate Mondays and love lasagna at the Garfield of Dreams.

Welcome to the Dunder Dome, where two men enter, that's what she said

Worst Prop Comic Ever https://youtu.be/Tfe8g_D8T2I

Two hours too short. Fucking fuckitty fuck fuck I love this fucking podcast.

Our specials today include Pheasant Under Ass, which is just a naked dude sitting on a bird. I'd stick to the Cobb Salad.

Sure, crappling hooks will get you to the top of buildings, but the stench isn't really worth it

San Die-go outside and get some fresh air every once in awhile, nerds.

Comic Con-doms prevent pregnancy by carrying on about Dr. Who for 30 minutes every time you try to have sex

I approve this catchphrase. I also approve of getting Ween on CBB ASAP.

Hey Hey, My My....Neil Young's vocal pitch is very high

As a member of the PISS Army, I just wanna urinate all night, and tinkle every day

Dads & Grads to the left of me, Auggie Doggie to the right, here I am...Stuck in the middle with you

Smiles Davis is the happiest jazz man in town.

Baby driver? I barely put a baby in her!

2B or Knot 2B Pretzels are fit for a Prince

Condom DeLuise prevents pregnancy with fits of wheezing laughter.

Flat-Girthers believe that the Earth is round and all penises are wide

Priory Mail gets your letter to God in 2-3 days or your money back

ZuZu's Petals to the ZuZu Metals

The views and opinions expressed in this catchphrase is meant as satire and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Pure Guava or his associates.

As we say goodbye to Dads and Grads remember this: American Independence was won in a month called JEW LIE. If you think you are free think again.

This reference is way above your head