Pure Guava

During the next ice age I would hate to be one of those people who freak out over flag burning because they're going to have to make a choice: patriotism or survival?

Cock a doodle do as I say, not as I dooby-dooby-do

Oh man, she really opened up a can of worms last night which was fortunate because I'm a talking catfish and hadn't eaten since breakfast.

What a corny catchphrase. 8/10 cobs.

The FBI set up a fake app to capture people that distributed tree porn. Operation "Sap Fap App Trap" was a complete success.

9 out of 10 time-travelers agree: You think shit is fucked up right now? Ohhhhh man....just you wait.

Out of the seventeen British bands that dress up like aliens, Fleetwood Mac and Me is by far the most talented.

Comedy Bang-Bang your head! Metal heath'll drive you mad

Like sands through the hourglass, you are also an obsolete relic of times long gone. Clean out your desk, Jerry, the Robo-Timer 3000 keeps time twice as fast with half the sand and none of your distracting child-custody drama bullshit.

$$$

Dumb. Sorry.

A spit in my hand is worth lube in the bush

The Millennial Falcon and Gen-X Wing Fighter...is that a thing?

Trick-or-treat, drop that beat, something something Skrillex

"Doing it doggy style" is an insult to all the missionary style loving canines of the world

"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time but one who wants spanked? Gimme dat Bible, motherfuckers" ---Nietzsche

All that jumping is futile, Q-Bert. The colors may change but you'll never ever get off this platform.

This phatch crase brought to you by Matt Gourley

I wish Fort Knox was a pillow fort because stealing all that gold would make you really sleepy. Going to need a place to rest your weary thieving head.

I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole. First of all, it's very rude to poke people with poles, secondly she's farther away than you think, anything under a 20-footer would be a waste of good pole.

Don't drink that milk, it's spoiled. Mommy and Daddy buy that milk anything it asks for. Yuck.

I don't have a catchphrase to add, I just want to someone to slut shame me, it's kind of my thing. Anyone? Hello?

There's no "u" in team because you are terrible at sports and nobody likes you.There is a "u" in fuck off so maybe go look into that instead

Eskimos have 500 words for "snow" but only one for "ice" because hey, there's only so much room in the dictionary.

"You really put the "chalk" in chocolate" would be a sick burn if you were a judge in a cooking competition.