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Pure Guava

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Everything posted by Pure Guava

  1. Pure Guava
    Love your username. You are Guided by Awesomeness.
  2. Pure Guava
    I'm flan-sexual; I like to have my cake and fuck it too.
  3. Pure Guava
    Thankfully for Marvel, Professor Xavier's last name didn't start with a "C." C-Men comics probably wouldn't sell as well in the more conservative markets
  4. Pure Guava
    Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Find out next on the 2017 Texaco Amway Armed Forces Squatty Potty Rose Bowl, live from Pasadena.
  5. Pure Guava
    Taze me once, shame on me. Taze me twice, lose all muscle control, pee my pants and convulse violently
  6. Pure Guava
    I heard that if you tip the masseuse an extra $50 you get a cancelled ABC TV show starring Adam Pally and Casey Wilson
  7. Pure Guava
    The man reminded me of a snake oil salesman, in that he was a man that was always going around selling snake oil.
  8. Pure Guava
    It's not that kind of a show...
  9. Pure Guava
    Koko love banana. Koko love kitten. Koko make funny catchphrase.
  10. Pure Guava
    Come to Talk-O Bell for the new Cool Ranch Conversation Melt
  11. Pure Guava
    Vacations to the Asian nations cause elation but they're a violation of God's creation due to the celebration of degradation and the craven vibrations emitted by the invasion of unshaven Croatians that call these remote locations their havens.
  12. Pure Guava
    The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good Intentions Asphaltâ„¢, the #1 choice for all your paving needs.
  13. Pure Guava
    Are you ready for some football? Check box A. Are you not ready for some football? Check box Get the hell out of 'Merica you commie bastard
  14. Pure Guava
    Trump's a chump but I'd still pump his rump until the dumps jumped out in clumps.
  15. Pure Guava
    I think the British like to say "keep a stiff upper lip" because they sniff glue all day
  16. Pure Guava
    God Save the Yasss Queen
  17. Pure Guava
    The Who have a famous album called "Live at Leeds" which is ironic because when I tell people that Comedy Bang Bang is recording live at Leeds they say "Who"?
  18. Pure Guava
    Here in Leeds, smoking the weeds, wearing my tweeds, tugging on my anal beads
  19. Pure Guava
    Rome wasn't built in a day....there were all those sets to create, actors to hire...HBO probably took years to properly develop it
  20. Pure Guava
    Do female Sarlacc shave their pits?
  21. Pure Guava
    Red sky in the morning, sailor's warning. Red sky at night, sailor's been dipping into the LSD again, better not let him steer the boat
  22. Pure Guava
    If there's one thing I've learned from movies it's that cool guys can strike a match on any surface and it lights the first time, every time.
  23. Pure Guava
    Plop plop, fizz fizz, cop cop, jizz jizz, mop top, Liz Liz. Oh, and could you stop and get some crackers on your way home?
  24. Pure Guava
    Aye, the heathen chocolate chewers, on a one-way express train to hell for not letting the cocoa melt in their mouth as the Good Lord intended.
  25. Pure Guava
    And in the end, the love you get is equal to the love you pay for.
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