Pure Guava

Not much is known about 18th century pirate Bong John Silver, other than he seemed to have never strayed more than a mile or two from Jamaica in his ship, the Queen Anne's Reefervenge

All our food is deep fried in hemp oil. That's the Bong John Silver's guarantee

Mossy wetlands weren't supposed to be a thing on Earth but on the 7th day God took too big of a hit, had a coughing fit and knocked over the bogwater

Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, hotdog, what up what up

After nearly losing his life in Wonka’s plumbing , it’s no surprise Augustus Gloop’s obsession with golden tickets switched to golden showers practically overnight

Giraffes would be more popular if they had a pair of big ol' pair of giraffe titties to stare at instead of pulling out that boring old neck trick we've all seen a thousand times.

Why no Dan Harmon on CBB?

Cokahauntas was a better translator and guide than her more famous sister but after three straight days & nights of non-stop chain smoking and chatting non-stop about buffalo both Lewis and Clark agreed it was time for her to leave the expedition.

Cheese wasn’t even wrapped, just a crumbly mound sitting on a dusty square of old lineoleoum

Fence or New York gets my vote(s)

Dramatic coastline and snow white bacon as far as the eye can see

Is this Fortnite?

Wait, this is called a taco "shell"??!! Taco turtle house? Taco pretty beach find? What's next, a taco sweater? Wait a minute...* *spoilers on how the Earth eventually is overrun by Bee-like space creatures and mankind is liquified into Royal Jelly below, proceed at your own risk: And THAT is how the billion-dollar franchise Taco Sweater was born. We have to pinpoint the exact moment in time and space your great-great-grandfather had that conversation, that is where we send the Terminator to....terminate....him to assure that the company that destroyed the planet never gets a chance to sell a single sweeter..I I mean taco sweat---wait a minute.... And THAT is how the trillion dollar franchise Taco Sweeter was born We have to pinpoint the exact moment in time and space your great great grandfather had that conversation, that is where we send the terminator to...terminate...the special agent who founded the company that destroyed the planet again, it was that moment where he figured out the key to a good franchise is to take something that already works and just tweak it enough where it seems like a unique idea. Hey wait a minute.... And THAT is how the quadrillion dollar industry Hollywood was born. It's up to you to figure out how Taco Sweater and Taco Sweeter resolved the obvious copyright issues. that is your assignment for the weekend, a 3-page minimum, single spaced, no bigger than 14 font (LOOKING AT YOU, MISTER BRIDGES) essay on untying this future knot in hopes of allowing the past make more sense to those who weren't there for no reason other than an empty feeling in their present lives which makes them look backwards to a time they could control and organize unlike the madness that engulfs their every waking hour. How many gallons of tribute blood would Xzenniaul demand this weekend? How many bodies can one space warlord fit in his hirzunguial? That thing was bloated as is, if only I knew more about his people and their biology...Hey wait a minute... And that is how my dad was killed. Never ask a level 3 warlord anything personal unless he's drunk off his 4 asses. Lesson learned. Class dismissed. School closed. Education banished. Mankind doomed. We've lost quadrant 19 to the Bee People, all hope is lost.

Fireworks? Yeah no shit, Einstein. Call me when it STOPS working. I'll be out looting coats. Waterworks? Ummmm I hope so, what else the fish gonna drink?

You're not a true dance club party boy until you've spent 3 weeks in the ER with a deadly case of Glitter Lung.

A review? Of this movie? OK. It was like the digital version of the Cherokee Trail of Tears except less toothpicks made from buffalo penis and more Mark Ruffalo dick pics proving that he's hung like a tooth, holla girl!!!!!!

I just woke up from a horrible nightmare, guys. A Special Thing message board was abandoned and left to the digital tumbleweeds. We all got trapped in a horrific pun palace called Catchphrase Suggestions. KMS?

Barfshart™

Just wonderin' if I could call dibs on the old salad buffet as a place to hang my hammock. The sneeze guard will protect me from the rats, in theory that is. I'll pay you two cans of sardines a month for rent. Only one will be full though, tee-hee hee hee. Oh swallowspur, did I say that last part out loud or only thunk it?

Little known fact: USA's colors were picked because of Washington's red baboon ass, Jefferson's blue cock ring, and John Adams's milky white titties. The more you learn.

Ah geez, thanks for the medication doc, it's all cleared up. You really put the gone in gonorrhea!

You got some real nerve showing up in a place like this. Which is great because those fake nerve cyborg shitbots aren't allowed inside the human zone.

I see you peering at the forest, afraid that you are surrounded by flammable pine that could burn your wild ropey heart into ash but fear not, feral knot, for all trees are fir, tall and fire fought.