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Pure Guava

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Everything posted by Pure Guava

  1. Pure Guava
    Ooooh baby....If you don't leggo of my eggo soon you're going to choke-o on my yolk-o.
  2. Pure Guava

    Longtime Fan New Time Poster with a couple ?s

    Pure Guava replied to BradleyShaneLucas's topic in Hollywood Handbook

    TL/DR: meth
  3. Pure Guava
    The oldest trick in the book is probably when Ugg gave two Mastodon pelts to Muk-Gluk for a handjob
  4. Pure Guava
    Generation XOXO are real slackers when it comes to hugs and kisses
  5. Pure Guava
    Vulture Club do not really wanna hurt me, they really want to wait until I've died
  6. Pure Guava
    The Gods mush be crazy! The craziest mush I ever tasted! Crazy, crazy mush, you gotta try it.
  7. Pure Guava
    Some Christians keep their virginity by only having sex in their Vonnebutt. So it goes.
  8. Pure Guava
    Just saw a squirrel get into a fight with a blue jay over a Vonnenut. So it goes.
  9. Pure Guava
    Some random dude just came up and punched me in my Vonnegut. So it goes.
  10. Pure Guava
    Boo-urp
  11. Pure Guava
    Burps are food ghosts trying to reach heaven.
  12. Pure Guava
    Yes, of course I'll come. I'll be there with bells on, thanks to my court-ordered bell shirt I'm required to wear within 100 meters of any schools
  13. Pure Guava
    I don't mean to beat around the bush, I lost my glasses and can't really see where I'm beating
  14. Pure Guava
    Don't give up hope, good people, for even dog shit gives off warmth for a few minutes a day
  15. Pure Guava
    The Flat Hearth Society think that chimneys are a hoax perpetrated by the powers that be. And NASA for some weird reason.
  16. Pure Guava
    Adultery and spousal abuse? Those are old wives tales that don't seem that far fetched.
  17. Pure Guava
    The Flat Birth Society believes baby bumps are a hoax perpetrated by the powers that be. And NASA for some weird reason.
  18. Pure Guava
    Right said Fred. Wrong said Ted, Fred's brother. Thus the argument ended.
  19. Pure Guava
    How is Casablanca like golf? They both have clubs and bogeys. #GrandpaJokes
  20. Pure Guava
    Halloween is my favorite holiday that has a band's name in the title, first runner-up is New Year's Pavement.
  21. Pure Guava
    You sunk my battle shit! Thank you, military sanitation department for doing such a great job. Together we can wipe out typhoid on the battlefield.
  22. Pure Guava
    Eat a bag of dicks? Challenge accepted! Mortimer, dear chap, bring me my dick-eating bib and a bottle of red Bordeaux from the carriage, post-haste!
  23. Pure Guava
    This guy fucks
  24. Pure Guava
    Business in front, party in the back. Relaxing weekend at home on the sides.
  25. Pure Guava
    Four score and 7 years ago was the last time anyone used "score" as a measure of time
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