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Pure Guava

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Everything posted by Pure Guava

  1. Pure Guava
    No offense to other catchphrases but this is the best catchphrase and will forever be the catchphrase that starts the show
  2. Pure Guava
    I'm hoping he tires himself out and goes on to the next shiny object that passes his fancy. #qualitynotquantity
  3. Pure Guava

    Catchphrase? We don't need no stinkin' catchphrase.

    Pure Guava replied to Call Waiting for Godot's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    my whole life has been a lie
  4. Pure Guava
    Ewww...tastes like Faygo and stripper pole
  5. Pure Guava

    Seven ways to spice up your grandparents' marriage

    Pure Guava replied to Dale Cooper Black's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Say it ain't so
  6. Pure Guava
    Don't cry over spilt milk, there's also seven dead bodies in the dairy aisle you seem to be ignoring.
  7. Pure Guava
    Knock knock knocking on heaven's door is just a fancy way of saying you be rubbing up on some clouds, pervert.
  8. Pure Guava
    Blood is thicker than water, especially when you make a blood milkshake, I speak from first-hand experience.
  9. Pure Guava
    A house divided against itself cannot stand but it sure makes for an interesting episode of reality TV
  10. Pure Guava
    Enoch, Ezekiel, Jedediah and Winifred all agree: Old-timey names are a thing of the past
  11. Pure Guava

    RIP Auggie Doggie

    Pure Guava posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    RIP Auggie Doggie
  12. Pure Guava
    Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999. Because we were in a car crash that year and have been in a coma ever since and know of no other year, much less how to party like them.
  13. Pure Guava
    They call me Mellow Yellow because I'm not uptight about having pee in my pants all day long.
  14. Pure Guava
    Have you ever seen a whale with a polka-dot tail? LSD in the sea will set your eyes free.
  15. Pure Guava
    East of Eden ain't cheatin' but Grapes of Wrath wants to take a bath with your wife
  16. Pure Guava
    The night is dark and full of non-sequiturs
  17. Pure Guava
    ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Some combination of these will form to create the world's funniest catchphrase.
  18. Pure Guava
    When you saw only one set of footprints it was because even Jesus thinks you're loser and wouldn't be caught dead walking anywhere near you, Poindexter.
  19. Pure Guava
    Gor-Gor, God of Destruction, says floss your teeth after ingesting the charred flesh of your vanquished enemies
  20. Pure Guava
    If Scott chooses this catchphrase I'll guarantee his assigned ghost will be distracted for another 50 years.
  21. Pure Guava
    Ghosts have to murder someone in order to stop being a ghost. Everyone is assigned a ghost at birth. Some ghosts are pacifists or refuse to kill for religious reasons so their humans live a long life and die of old age. Some ghosts were assassins in their former life or just don't give a fuck, that's why infants die only hours/days/weeks old. Some of the pacifists get bored living a ghost life (only so many girls locker rooms you can peep on before it gets tiresome), which is why teenagers/twentysomethings die.
  22. Pure Guava
    Never trust a taqueria employee, they spill the beans every day. HACK. LAME. DELETE.
  23. Pure Guava
    In true schizophrenic form, I was referring to myself. Dramatic reveal. Mic Drop. Meds taken. Violent thoughts subsided.
  24. Pure Guava
    Please get professional help. Paid for by the Catchphrase Betterment Society of North America (CBSNA)
  25. Pure Guava
    Alex P. Keaton ain't cheatin' but Marty McFly is an adulterous guy
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