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Days Won
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Posts posted by Pure Guava
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The oldest trick in the book is probably when Ugg gave two Mastodon pelts to Muk-Gluk for a handjob
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Generation XOXO are real slackers when it comes to hugs and kisses
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Vulture Club do not really wanna hurt me, they really want to wait until I've died
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The Gods mush be crazy! The craziest mush I ever tasted! Crazy, crazy mush, you gotta try it.
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Some Christians keep their virginity by only having sex in their Vonnebutt. So it goes.
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Just saw a squirrel get into a fight with a blue jay over a Vonnenut. So it goes.
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Some random dude just came up and punched me in my Vonnegut. So it goes.
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Yes, of course I'll come. I'll be there with bells on, thanks to my court-ordered bell shirt I'm required to wear within 100 meters of any schools
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I don't mean to beat around the bush, I lost my glasses and can't really see where I'm beating
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Don't give up hope, good people, for even dog shit gives off warmth for a few minutes a day
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Burps are food ghosts trying to reach heaven.
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The Flat Hearth Society think that chimneys are a hoax perpetrated by the powers that be. And NASA for some weird reason.
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Adultery and spousal abuse? Those are old wives tales that don't seem that far fetched.
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The Flat Birth Society believes baby bumps are a hoax perpetrated by the powers that be. And NASA for some weird reason.
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Right said Fred. Wrong said Ted, Fred's brother. Thus the argument ended.
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How is Casablanca like golf? They both have clubs and bogeys. #GrandpaJokes
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Halloween is my favorite holiday that has a band's name in the title, first runner-up is New Year's Pavement.
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You sunk my battle shit! Thank you, military sanitation department for doing such a great job. Together we can wipe out typhoid on the battlefield.
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Eat a bag of dicks? Challenge accepted! Mortimer, dear chap, bring me my dick-eating bib and a bottle of red Bordeaux from the carriage, post-haste!
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This guy fucks
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Business in front, party in the back. Relaxing weekend at home on the sides.
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Four score and 7 years ago was the last time anyone used "score" as a measure of time
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The only thing to fear is fear itself. And automatic weapons. And nuclear war. And global warming. Oh man I'm fucking scared. Please hold me.
Longtime Fan New Time Poster with a couple ?s
in Hollywood Handbook
Posted
TL/DR: meth