Comments are disabled for my Youtube videos because I don't want people to shit all over them the way I shit all over this forum

[Comments are disabled for my Youtube videos because I don't want people to shit all over them the way I shit all over this forum]

I'm hoping he tires himself out and goes on to the next shiny object that passes his fancy. #qualitynotquantity

[Catchphrase? We don't need no stinkin' catchphrase.]

my whole life has been a lie

[Here's looking at you, Kid Rock. Oops. I mean future SENATOR Kid Rock!]

Gotta get my butt kissing in early.

 

 

Ewww...tastes like Faygo and stripper pole

[Seven ways to spice up your grandparents' marriage]

Say it ain't so

[Don't cry over spilt milk, there's also seven dead bodies in the dairy aisle you seem to be ignoring.]

Don't cry over spilt milk, there's also seven dead bodies in the dairy aisle you seem to be ignoring.

[Knock knock knocking on heaven's door is just a fancy way of saying you be rubbing up on some clouds, pervert]

Knock knock knocking on heaven's door is just a fancy way of saying you be rubbing up on some clouds, pervert.

[Blood is thicker than water, especially when you make a blood milkshake, I speak from first-hand experience.]

Blood is thicker than water, especially when you make a blood milkshake, I speak from first-hand experience.

[A house divided against itself cannot stand but it sure makes for an interesting episode of reality TV]

A house divided against itself cannot stand but it sure makes for an interesting episode of reality TV

[Enoch, Ezekiel, Jedediah and Winifred all agree: Old-timey names are a thing of the past]

Enoch, Ezekiel, Jedediah and Winifred all agree: Old-timey names are a thing of the past

[RIP Auggie Doggie]

RIP Auggie Doggie

[Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999. Because we were in a car crash that year & have been in a coma ever since & know of no other year,]

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999. Because we were in a car crash that year and have been in a coma ever since and know of no other year, much less how to party like them.

[They call me Mellow Yellow because I'm not uptight about having pee in my pants all day long.]

They call me Mellow Yellow because I'm not uptight about having pee in my pants all day long.

[Have you ever seen a whale with a polka-dot tail? LSD in the sea will set your eyes free.]

Have you ever seen a whale with a polka-dot tail? LSD in the sea will set your eyes free.

[East of Eden ain't cheatin' but Grapes of Wrath wants to take a bath with your wife]

East of Eden ain't cheatin' but Grapes of Wrath wants to take a bath with your wife

[The night is dark and full of non-sequiturs]

The night is dark and full of non-sequiturs

[ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Some combination of these will form to create the world's funniest catchphrase.]

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Some combination of these will form to create the world's funniest catchphrase.

[When you saw only one set of footprints it was because even Jesus thinks you're loser and wouldn't be caught dead walking anywhere near you]

When you saw only one set of footprints it was because even Jesus thinks you're loser and wouldn't be caught dead walking anywhere near you, Poindexter.

[Gor-Gor, God of Destruction, says floss your teeth after ingesting the charred flesh of your vanquished enemies]

Gor-Gor, God of Destruction, says floss your teeth after ingesting the charred flesh of your vanquished enemies

[The secret of the afterlife is contained within...(CONT):]

If Scott chooses this catchphrase I'll guarantee his assigned ghost will be distracted for another 50 years.

[The secret of the afterlife is contained within...(CONT):]

Ghosts have to murder someone in order to stop being a ghost. Everyone is assigned a ghost at birth. Some ghosts are pacifists or refuse to kill for religious reasons so their humans live a long life and die of old age. Some ghosts were assassins in their former life or just don't give a fuck, that's why infants die only hours/days/weeks old. Some of the pacifists get bored living a ghost life (only so many girls locker rooms you can peep on before it gets tiresome), which is why teenagers/twentysomethings die.

[Never trust a taqueria employee, they spill the beans every day.]

Never trust a taqueria employee, they spill the beans every day.

 

 

HACK. LAME. DELETE.

[Can someone direct the schizophrenic to a different forum, please?]

Which one?

 

 

In true schizophrenic form, I was referring to myself. Dramatic reveal. Mic Drop. Meds taken. Violent thoughts subsided.

[Alex P. Keaton ain't cheatin' but Marty McFly is an adulterous guy]

Alex P. Keaton ain't cheatin' but Marty McFly is an adulterous guy

[Can someone direct the schizophrenic to a different forum, please?]

Please get professional help.

 

Paid for by the Catchphrase Betterment Society of North America (CBSNA)

[Premature ejaculate comedy cums in threes (seconds)]

Premature ejaculate comedy cums in threes (seconds)