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Posts posted by Pure Guava
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Thankfully for Marvel, Professor Xavier's last name didn't start with a "C." C-Men comics probably wouldn't sell as well in the more conservative markets
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Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Find out next on the 2017 Texaco Amway Armed Forces Squatty Potty Rose Bowl, live from Pasadena.
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Taze me once, shame on me. Taze me twice, lose all muscle control, pee my pants and convulse violently
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I heard that if you tip the masseuse an extra $50 you get a cancelled ABC TV show starring Adam Pally and Casey Wilson
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The man reminded me of a snake oil salesman, in that he was a man that was always going around selling snake oil.
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It's not that kind of a show...
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Koko love banana. Koko love kitten. Koko make funny catchphrase.
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Come to Talk-O Bell for the new Cool Ranch Conversation Melt
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Vacations to the Asian nations cause elation but they're a violation of God's creation due to the celebration of degradation and the craven vibrations emitted by the invasion of unshaven Croatians that call these remote locations their havens.
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The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good Intentions Asphaltâ„¢, the #1 choice for all your paving needs.
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Are you ready for some football? Check box A. Are you not ready for some football? Check box Get the hell out of 'Merica you commie bastard
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Trump's a chump but I'd still pump his rump until the dumps jumped out in clumps.
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I think the British like to say "keep a stiff upper lip" because they sniff glue all day
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God Save the Yasss Queen
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The Who have a famous album called "Live at Leeds" which is ironic because when I tell people that Comedy Bang Bang is recording live at Leeds they say "Who"?
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Here in Leeds, smoking the weeds, wearing my tweeds, tugging on my anal beads
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Rome wasn't built in a day....there were all those sets to create, actors to hire...HBO probably took years to properly develop it
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Do female Sarlacc shave their pits?
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Red sky in the morning, sailor's warning. Red sky at night, sailor's been dipping into the LSD again, better not let him steer the boat
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If there's one thing I've learned from movies it's that cool guys can strike a match on any surface and it lights the first time, every time.
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Plop plop, fizz fizz, cop cop, jizz jizz, mop top, Liz Liz. Oh, and could you stop and get some crackers on your way home?
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Aye, the heathen chocolate chewers, on a one-way express train to hell for not letting the cocoa melt in their mouth as the Good Lord intended.
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And in the end, the love you get is equal to the love you pay for.
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FULL VERSION:
Â
My intern picked this catchphrase. I should probably start reading them before actually going on air, let this be a lesson to you Herr Aukerman. Oh, by the way, your dry cleaning won't be ready until tomorrow.
I'm flan-sexual; I like to have my cake and fuck it too.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
I'm flan-sexual; I like to have my cake and fuck it too.