GiveMeYourBaby

Checks a lot of HDTGM boxes. Surfing Kurt Russell's Hair Dialogue where one character is whispering for no reason Conspicuous sequel cash in (see Jaws 4) Bizarre future scenario where one part of the US is fucked up but the rest is fine (Dredd and Demolition Man) It grossed half of its crazy budget Its director, John Carpenter the master of camp, came out and criticized the script as being too campy. Tagline: Snake is Back

This sounds like A Boy and His Dog. A movie I love but think might also be a HDTGM candidate based on how weird and fucked up it is.

This popped up on HBOGo recently and I decided to check it out. Within the first 15 minutes I knew that this would be a great HTGM movie. The main plot line to start the action movie with cosmically endowed superheroes revolves around Sue Storm and Reed Richard's wedding plans. This would be a great one to bring Brian Posehn back for. He has a lame cameo that bookends the movie and could speak to the many ways that this film takes solid source material and shits all over it. The one that seems the most egregious to me was how Galactus is reduced to a mean cloud from space. Also the Silver Surfer betrays his home world AND the woman that he loves because Sue Storm kind of reminds him of his former lover.

Of course the best reason to do this one is that it reaffirms Paul's "movies with surfing in them are awful" theory.

I would say the movie's blatant misogyny towards Sue Storm qualifies as offensive. From the start her character, who has been established as a brilliant scientist, is mad at Reed for caring more about science than their wedding plans. Later in the movie when she switches powers with Johnny she starts shrieking that she is on fire even though the power shouldn't be causing pain and she has seen Johnny do the exact same thing hundreds of times. Eventually she ends up naked on a crowed street objectified and humiliated for a cheap gag.

I've only seen this one and the first one but between them I think Silver Surfer is more deserving of the HDTGM treatment. If only because of plot structure. The only reason the FF get involved with the Silver Surfer is that he is leaving huge craters all over the place. Why he is doing that is never explained. All he has to do is hang out on Earth until Galactus shows up. When the Silver Surfer does decide to turn on Galactus he defeats the most powerful being in the universe almost entirely on his own (I guess Johnny gives him a little boost). There is never any explanation for how this is successful and the FF are barely involved. From beginning to end this movie makes no sense and none of the conflicts between villains and heroes are well established or well executed.

Ouch. Thanks for clearing that up. Listening to the podcast recording I only noticed it the one time he gets called out. You and Jason are right that that is totally unacceptable.

Also what the fuck movie? Why?

It's not like he whistled at an inappropriate time or did it constantly through the whole show. Everyone else was cheering and clapping. Why do you guys hate whistling so much?

Why haven't the Sklars been on yet? It's not like it would be hard to get them over to the Earwolf studios. Is there a bad twin movie they can be guests for?

Smart people don't fund government blimps. http://gawker.com/gigantic-unmanned-military-blimp-on-the-loose-outside-b-1739217483

I know exactly what you are talking about. At least the US won't do much better and rugby sevens is coming up for Rio 2016 so you won't have to wait 4 years for some redemption. Go Scotland I guess.

A couple things: Towards the end of the movie when Kevin is trying to remember the cosmic key tones, why is the speaker Teela blasts blaring bad classical music at a time of night when the streets are deserted? In the same scene they clean Julie's lightning burn/poison wound with the gross water from an outdoor fountain. In the words of Jason, that is not hygienic you guys. In the final battle Evil Lynn flees while Skeletor still has his universe powers and an army of robots. It's as if she sees Skeletor's shit aim and concludes from that that his defeat by He-Man is assured. My biggest issue with the movie is the use of time travel at the end. If the keys can be used for time travel then why couldn't Skeletor use his at the beginning to go back and catch the heroes at any point. Also Gwildor seems to have varying levels of precision with key destinations. He should have no idea how to get to Earth on purpose, much less the exact day in the past when Julie's parents die. When they escape Skeletor Evil Lynn says he was pushing buttons at random and when they arrive at Earth Gwildor says he did not have time to "enominalize" his coordinates and they could be anywhere.

In the music shop Charlie calls Kevin "Mr. Perfect Pitch" for recognizing a D flat so it's not just the melody. Still stupid for Gwildor to call him a master song writer just because he's in a shitty band in ???-town America.

Agreed. Especially since we see at the end that Lubic's Earth shotgun can mow them down with no problem.

Hey guess what isn't great to clean a giant burn wound from (poisonous?) magic lightning? Gross outdoor fountain water.

I just watched Transformers Age of Extinction on Netflix and it reminded me that I still want this to be the first Transformers movie HDTGM'ed. Someone else mentioned that when you go into a Bayformer movie you really only have yourself to blame. I actually love this movie. It was one of a flicks like Nausicaa that I watched over and over as a kid, but it really is a bizarre moment in film history. Trans '86 had a budget of $6 million, it grossed 5.8. I would love to see a HDTGM double feature with AoE. Is Hasbro's meddling worse than AoE's product placement? In which movie does Megatron get shortchanged the most as the series's primary villain? Which plot device is the most shoehorned? The "tactical nuke" seed bomb or the Matrix?

What drove me nuts about this movie before it even came out is that nebbish Bruce Banner was being played by Eric Bana, who they could have convincingly done a Lou Ferrigno and just painted himself green to transform into the incredible hulk. As for they way the movie is edited, the comic book transitions were distractingly terrible and cheesy.

Watched the beginning of this on HBOGo today, and it is even more terrible than I remember. Wooden acting, random dialogue and it was a box office bust of epic proportions. All great HDTGM fodder.

This movie is straight bananas. Kubrick was a great director sometimes, this is not one of them. Craziness Nicole Kidman acting drunk and/crazy in every scene where she is not taking care of her daughter. Subplots that appear and disappear for no reason. The number of times Cruise tells people that he is a doctor as though that gives him special powers. Lolita threesome with weird Asian men. Cruise becoming prostitute loving deviant because his wife one time thought about having an affair. The fucking non-ending The dialogue. The time frame. The studio editing out the salaciousness which was the point of the film.

The title says it all. Plus I want Kumail back on the show.

Face/off makes sense according to its own weird internal logic too but there was still plenty to discuss.

Well I'll be damned. Late 90s at that.

One thing that drove me nuts was how Dr. Bill's house was decorated. Who has a 4'x6' portrait of a cat in their house? This movie was constantly reminding me that the 80's were the tackiest decade of this generation.

How did they not talk about this? http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11113/111131285/4290416-2145802211-tumbl.gif