Jack Johnson P.I.

Is it "because_fi"? If it isn't, don't tell me. I really want that to be the password.

I'm jealous of all of you and want everyone to forget to tie their shoes tomorrow and look stupid. cus you're all stupid and I hate you. stupid.

I have never been so close to quitting a job over a single phone call in my life.

I like all this talk about candy vegetables. My favorite is when apples get dipped in caramel. It's like a huge lollipop made of a sweet little tree baby!

don't you dare take this love away from me

21st, baby this is better than #1, because it's more calculated edit: suck it chanson

SPEAK speak on that

Silvr, for Christ's sake answer your phone. Obviously people are worried about you.

barely

"the jam jar"??

The best dates are the ones that rely on the internet to facilitate conversation. Keep killin it Ash and Jeff, I know A Bear is probably already going to bear the rings, but I'd love to officiate if you haven't already put a deposit down. I'll do it for nothing as long as there's MD 20/20 at the reception. hmu, thanks

We need a lightning rod for thundercock

Hey guys I had a dream that my coworker won survivor so I'm making the ultimate call and betting on Shawna to win this season. Sure, it sounds crazy, but if she wins you'll all look the fool!

thank you for this post, now I know that tc69 actually was being funny and not insulting me a few posts ago. What a relief!

Dibs on pauly shore and lightningdong1776 so I can call everyone a homo and not be a dick cus it's just a character. edit: so I just finished the second episode of the leftovers (thank you Jake C for the reminder, this show is fantastic) and got hungry. I decided to reheat yesterday's spaghetti, sat back down to watch, and had myself a chuckle. So I guess the point of this edit is that the leftovers is just as good if not better with your leftovers. Thanks guys, keep on truckin

I think the shirts are boring. gimme some W O L F C O O L A E S T H E T I C, scotty. I've got $¢$¢$ (pronounced "stacks") to drop on putting some fire in my flex-chest.

my favorite earwolf podcast is cracked cocaine because I'm addicted to cracked cocaine.

edit: sorry, I thought you said "danzig" jeffs.

there's more poop

goodbite

I really wish someone would have snapped me about the (racism) that was going down on page ten and eleven. Y'all niggas should have let me know, I was a casual racist for Halloween. RSS is great, also the only reason I felt like I could say the "N!"_word is because of what Chanson said above. Can't believe he would say that on his birthday, but happy you are brave enough to admit it! Edit: nice edit, chanman. Now I look like an asshole.

I'll fuck anyone on this forum. please. hot2trotfuckangel@sexbots.gov hit me up, I'm almost literally begging you (joe lerini)

Hey guys tonight for halloween I got my face painted like paul stanley because we had a party at work and there was a face painter, and after work my new work friends invited me to a rave. I've never been to a rave so I agreed to go and got lost finding the place. once I got there it took me an hour to find my co-workers so I just drank water-beer and looked at the cool costumes to pass time. once I found them it was two in the a.m. and I couldn't buy anymore alcohol so I sobered up and realized I didn't like being at the rave, so I went home. so do you have to be fudged up to enjoy raves? why did nobody recognize my face paint? should i drop molly at work? and most importantly, what happened to devilfucker93? I was just starting to like that guy... sincerely, dear abbey

Hi Jeff, which puppet do you think is sexiest? I feel like Peanut is into bdsm but I like where I could fit Jose.