SeñorFartFace

It's 2016, people! And, if you ask me, it's about time we legalize medicinal butt chugging!

Here's a video of a convicted felon singing an Adele-inspired "Sorry" to Judge at sentencing.

Drunk Vegas Lawyer

You can lead a horse to water but it will die if that water is on Mars.

This is my favourite thing ever.

Tell it to the Judge! The Mike Judge that is.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick which suitcase contains the antidote!

Canadian Politician 'Elizabeth May' getting pulled off the stage after an 'unusual speech' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpOE59SinhE&feature=youtu.be&t=467

Nice nuts, bro!!

I have a heart of gold and a liver of zinc. Doctors say I shouldn't be alive.

Guy has very specific requirements... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suXXUti2kik

The only type of revolution that I believe in is Dance Dance Revolution.

Did you know that the average John Goodman earns 30 cents more than the average John Goodwoman?

You're not a superintendent! In fact, I don't even think you're a regularintendent!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3Rb9mIOivI Guy gets kicked out of concert.

Contrary to popular belief, Jim belushi doesn't have the strength of ten men. It's actually closer to six men.

This next reading comes from the Gospel according to Jim.

I blame society! (Society is the name of my Armenian roommate who forgot to pay the rent bill. AGAIN!).

Shut up, Jiblet Joe! Nobody likes you OR your stupid commemorative plate collection!

Just like Garfield, I too hate Mondays and my owner Jon Arbuckle.

I dont believe in goblins, ghouls, ghosts, or Garey Busey!

Her hair was like the purest of silk and her smile was also like silk, her skin too. Come to think of it, she may just have been a silk pillow cover.

There is only one thing I hate more than crime and that thing is two crimes at the same time.

Guy thinks his constitutional rights are being violated by a train ticket inspector. Hopefully this video will redeem my chatbot one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UscDriELjAc Also here the guy tries to equate being asked for a ticket to the injustices that black people have faced throughout American history.