SeñorFartFace

I have a tattoo on my chest of the entire cast of "Glee" eating brunch with me at a Swedish Coffeehouse.

Please follow me on twitter, @realDonaldTrump, I feel as though we could really bond over our mutual love of classic french cinema. We could go down to my log cabin near the lake next summer and sit by the sparkling fire, watching french films of a forgotten era, holding each other in a tender embrace as platonic movie buddies.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Remember that the next time you decide to join a Conga line.

I ain't afraid of no ghost! Except for that one starring Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore.

IS THAT KEVIN BACON!? Wait no, sorry. It's just a regular piece of bacon.

Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give a man another fish and you'll feed him for two days. By the third day he should stop accepting handfuls of raw fish from strangers because, frankly, it's weird and unsanitary.

The Hippopotamus is my favorite animal that rhymes with Bippopotamus

Hello, I am Plagarizmo the Plagiarizing Magician. Is THIS your card? Well, guess what, it's mine now, go away.

Lets all party like it's 1999. By that I mean live in constant fear of the impending Y2K disaster.

On the strike of morrow's eve I ask of you a simple yet noble question: "Who let the dogs out? Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof. Who let the dogs out?"

THE MOBILE GENERATION!

WORLDS BIGGEST NINJA TURTLES FAN

Please don't forget the true meaning of Christmas. It's a time for family, friends, and the return of the ancient Nordic Deity, Golgathor XY, destroyer of worlds and part-time party magician.

Seatbelts are for people who lack confidence in their driving ability. Be a winner and dont wear a seatbelt.

The average Scott Aukerman earns 33 cents more than the average scott Aukerwoman. Stop gender and pun-based income inequality today!

she's a multi talented artist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl6nsbaMv3w

A single tear ran down his pale pink cheek. His butt cheek that is.

creationist disproves science, robot feet, and much much more. It's a long video, here are the highlights: (personal fave: she talks about how robots cannot have human feet) (Another highlight: Dinosaurs are just dragons according to her) (Neanderthals could just be Eastern Europeans)

Is it racist that I like the 1963 Jerry Lewis film "The Nutty Professor" more than the Eddie Murphy remake?

Is Salmonella the feminine version of salmon?

I have the strength of ten men or five pairs of conjoined twins.

I think "The Godfather: Part III" is the weakest of the subway sandwich trilogy to be honest, it just felt like a cashgrab.

My favourite film AND subway sandwich is the 1979 movie "Meatballs". My second favourite subway sandwich is "The Godfather: Part II".

My favourite film AND subway sandwich is the 1979 movie "Meatballs". My second favourite subway sandwich is "The Godfather: Part II".