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Cameron H.

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Posts posted by Cameron H.

  1. Posted

    But she said she chose Andrew McCarthy at one point. I think it was when she just stripped in front of him and complimented him on his craftsmanship on the body and she was happy she chose him? Plus she's been hoping around time so it's not like she has a good idea of when it's really great for women. I think she is just attracted to artist types and forgot the whole women's liberation thing.

     

    Sorry. I've never seen the first one.

  2. Posted

     

    The first one was manufactured in 1987 by Andrew MacCarthy, in the mannequin factory. It was sold to Prince & Co. She doesn't become a mannequin in Egypt, she dissolves into the ether, leaving a pile of rags behind. One reasons that the gods she begged to decided to transport her soul to an era where women had more of a say in their own lives.

     

    "Ah, yes," the Gods said, "We shall send your spirit to Philadelphia in 1987! The very pinnacle of woman's equality in all of space and time. At no time earlier or later shall it ever be better."

  3. Posted

    Also his last name ends up being "Williamson" which no one ever mentioned. In Viking culture that would mean "Son of William," so is he a reincarnation like synopsis told me or is he the great great great great etc grandson of this Prince? Which damn Prince way to move on with your life and forget about your true love just to continue on your royal line if that's the case.

     

    Oh yeah, the Prince is a real piece of shit. His "beloved" is cursed into being a mannequin and he just kind of goes, "Awwww, ma!" Then what? He doesn't try to fight back--he doesn't really try to do anything! I mean, there's gotta be a counter curse or something, right? Grab that sorcerer by his scrabbly beard, hold your sword to his throat, and demand that the curse be lifted. If he refuses, run him through. It's not like the sorcerer has exhibited any magical powers beyond the necklace, which for all we know, was just a family heirloom. What's the worst that can happen? The prince dies? Well, isn't she his "true love?" Shouldn't she be worth dying for? He doesn't even really react when he's told that the curse can be lifted by "her true love" which implies that she does have a true love, and it ain't him. Instead he's just like "Bummer. I guess I'll spread my seed for awhile in the hope that my great-great grand son or something gets to do my girlfriend. But, before I do that, I guess I'll just curse this land* to a thousand years of rain. A curse that will not only adversely impact you and your realm, but all the innocent people of this country, too. People just trying to eke by a meager existence and who know nothing about this whole kerfuffle. Oh yeah, and that also includes the family of the woman I supposedly loved. Fuck them too."

     

    *Personally, I subscribe to the theory that the Prince handed down this curse upon his mother and that it wasn't just a side effect of the Queen's curse. If that were the case, when Jessie said the magic words when she put the necklace around the Count's neck, America should have been shrouded in a cloak of rain for a thousand years too.

    • Like 2

  4. Posted

    I've been going through my notes to see if they/we have missed anything and I can't believe I forgot about this!

     

    "Did you ever hear of a Prince William?" "No, I don't think I have."

     

    Are you serious!? Maybe the heir to the English thrown? You know the man who was born in 1982!? A full 9 years before this movie came out!? Even if it was shelved like some of us think it was still at least conceived 6 years after he was born. And I'm pretty sure even though there was no internet the birth of an English male heir was a huge fucking deal and at least made the damn papers in America. Bull shit you have never heard of a Prince William.

     

    Yeah, that bugged me too. It would be one thing if he said, "Have you ever heard of Prince William of Hautmann-Koenig?" but he just says, "Prince William." You'd think she'd at least ask for some kind of clarification. Also, as much as Swanson's character shouldn't have been "Jessie," he probably should have been "Wilhem" or something...

     

    ETA: JESUS HORCRUX CHRIST....I just realized that this was my 1,500th post. Yikes.

     

    tumblr_me6f8lIaFa1rfq33zo1_500.gif

     

    However, as befits this milestone, here is my unsolicited suggestion for a future episode.

     

     

    weekend-at-bernies-ii-large.jpg

     

    I know I already brought this one up in the mini-ep thread, but...all this talk about McCarthy and Kiser reminded me of it.

     

    • Like 5

  6. Posted

    This is a very important topic that has yet to be discussed, but isn't it possible that Pretzie from Hercules in New York traveled back in time, with the help of his buddies in Mount Olympus, to medieval Hauptmann-Koenig, joined up with Medieval Sorcerer Count Spretzle, and invented the PRETZEL. This would give Future Pretzie the career that enables him to meet Hercules in the first place and thereby, I dunno, save Future New York and Philadelphia simultaneously? Perhaps this refocusing of Sorcerer Spretzle's energies on delicious snack-making softened his evil ways, enabling him to ensure Mannequin Jessie's safety for future generations? Maybe this is why Jessie has remained in such pristine condition over a thousand years and why, just at the time Modern Spretzle is ready to bring her back to life, she is magically saved by the very person she is destined to fall in love with, thereby breaking the very curse Sorcerer Spretzle is responsible for?

     

    Pretzie in Hauptmann-Koenig: Days of Future Past.

     

    CARL-SAGAN-2TG.gif

     

    I cannot adequately convey how much I love this post.

     

    Mind...blown

     

    I would like to also posit that Jessie is who Pretzie's wedding ring is for. Pretzie moved forward to the 80's to make sure Jessie would be OK and then came back to 60's New York to help Herc.

     

    And this one just breaks my heart!

     

    Well done, both of you!

     

    ETA: Can Male-e-quin 3: The Curse of the Front Butt somehow include a Pretzie/Hollywood buddy team-up?

    • Like 3

  8. Posted

    Late in the movie, as Low Rent Mr. Tuttle and the police confront and arrest Jason over the theft of "The Peasant Girl," the Count descends the stairs carrying Jessie in his arms and makes it clear to all his intention of reclaiming his "property" and heading on down to Bermuda. Unfortunately for the Count, he is forced to hand Jessie over to the store manager when he is sternly reminded that they have a "contract." And while I don't know the exact details of said contract, it is a point I would like to explore...

     

    Based on what the movie shows us, the deal is that the Count provides his country's most precious artifact to be displayed at Prince & CO, which will attract the Philadelphia elite and help drive sales. In return, Prince & CO will put on a presentation that will help elavate Hauptmann-Koenig's status on the World stage. The two parties each have their responsibilities: HK will provide the mannequin, P&C will put on a " dignified" show, and provide a secure place to keep HB's priceless relic. However, let's look at this from an objective perspective.

     

    In the 48-72 hours "The Peasant Girl" has been in Prince & CO's care, it has already gone missing twice! They are currently in the process of arresting an employee of the store who has stolen this statue and taken it to his bedroom to do God knows what with it. This is the same employee who made off with her earlier only to return her after removing all her clothes (artifacts that I'm sure were just as valuable as the mannequin itself--if not more) and dressing her up in some skanked out garb he grabbed off the rack. To use an analogy from the episode, this would be like if King Tut were to be presented at a Pacific Sunwear and an employee removed all his wrappings and dressed him in some Speedos and a fluorescent Ocean Pacific tank top.

     

    So, considering Prince & CO really monkey fucked their end of the bargain, I believe the Count would be well within his rights to consider their contract null and void. If anything, P&C should be apologizing to him for their inexcusable ineptitude and be thankful as shit that the government of HK hasn't threatened to litigate.

    • Like 5

  9. Posted

    I would also like to talk a little bit about Hollywood Montrose. He was amazing, and I would argue, the true hero of this movie! Think about it, aside from the sword fight, any time daring needs doing in this movie, Hollywood is the one to do it. You get arrested for stealing a mannequin? Hollywood's going to break you out. You need a heavily locked door kicked open? Don't worry, Hollywood's got them dancer's legs. You shot a gun at Hollywood's face? Fret not, he's from Philly. In fact, it isn't until the Count runs out of bullets, and all immediate danger has been neutralized, does Jason step up to the plate and say, "No, no, Hollywood. I've got this." Well, I should certainly hope so, Jason. My hero... :(

     

    However, as much as I would like to laud Hollywood for his bravery all day, he does fall short a couple of times. The first is when the store delegation arrives at the airport and his presentation solely consists of him doing a one man cheer for the Count. Talk about embezzling company funds...According to the film, his title is "Chief of Visual Merchandising." If that's the best he could come up with, whatever they're paying him is way too much.

     

    The second time Hollywood drops the ball is right before the main presentation. Backstage, the mannequin is being guarded by a couple of cops (who, oddly enough, seem to disappear the moment there's gun play) and the Count's goons. While he's back there, Hollywood touches up Jessie's makeup and whispers to her what a great guy Jason* is and then walks away. However, the one thing he didn't do, especially considering his close proximity to Jessie, is try to take off the damn necklace! He's right there! Sure, the Count's thugs might try to put it back on, but there are a couple of cops there who might have a couple of questions as to why this mannequin they are guarding suddenly sprung to life. Maybe it's just in Hollywood's nature to make everything as dramatic as possible, but by ignoring a simple solution to their problem in order to put on the best ever mannequin "pre-sen-tacion," he certainly put a lot of people's lives in danger.

     

    *I love how on-board people are with one another in this movie:

     

    I've known you for two seconds but you look like my ex-boyfriend? That's great! I love you!

     

    My boss hired this guy yesterday to be my assistant without consulting me first and we've only spent a couple of hours together? That's awesome! He's the greatest guy in the world and I'd happily commit a felony for him.

    • Like 6

  10. Posted

    Also! "It has no caffeine, no artificial flavors, no calories." "We had something like that in our day, called 'water.'" (not exact quotes)

     

    How does Jessie know what caffeine, artificial flavors and calories are?

     

    That really bugged me too. What also bugged me is the waitress says, "We don't have 'yak's milk" and then gives her a Diet Pepsi. Look, I don't know if they thought "yak's milk" was a literal request or the name of a drink, but if I ever ordered a drink, and my request is obviously something cream or milk based, and the waitress brought me back a DIET drink, I'd be pretty Goddamn insulted. What are you trying to say, lady?

     

    I haven't listened to the episode yet (Mondays are a heavy podcast day, and right now, Blank Check's Cameron Crowe series is more exciting to me), but I can't fucking believe Steve Agee hasn't been on before now. I had to go check the episode list on Wikipedia to be sure. It's kind of like when Mulaney was on; it's such a natural and obvious guest that it's insane they haven't been on already so you convince yourself they have.

     

    TRAITOR!

     

    traitor.gif

    • Like 8

  12. Posted

    Loved this episode!

     

    What confused me about this movie is how the movie went out of its way to contradict itself in regard to character motivation and growth. I get the "24 second" rule, but a couple of times the movie just doesn't make sense when it would be easier to just step back and say, "Oh, wait...We should fix that."

     

    The first moment that springs to mind is when Jason first kisses the mannequin. Up until this point, Jason comes off as a "real cool dude." He's tossing garbage in a can as he speeds down the road, he "Ferris Bueller's" the parking situation in downtown Philly, and Gayle seems incredibly interested in him from the word "go." However, when he kisses the mannequin, he says something to the effect of, "Why aren't any real women into me?" What are you talking about? Gayle is totally into you! But, when she tells him she is free on Friday, he makes the excuse that they shouldn't take things too fast. It's one date, bro! She's not asking to marry you. Before you dismiss it out of hand, why not just go grab some coffee and see where that goes? And, if for whatever reason you still want to turn that date down, I don't want to hear you bitch about not finding a "real" woman a couple minutes later. I guess I'm just confused. Is he supposed to be a cool guy with beautiful women throwing themselves at him, or is he a lovelorn loser who can't catch a break?

     

    As for Jessie, she seems to come off equally inconsistent with how they portray her. They seem to want her to come off as endearingly naive, but instead, she comes off as (perhaps) dangerously, and willfully, ignorant. On their first date, Jason puts her in front of a television camera, and when she sees herself on on the screen, and she freaks the fuck out. She starts screaming, "Save me! I'm trapped in this box!" He pulls her away, accepts her fawning gratitude, but never explains how televisions work. Then later, when she has bought a bunch of crap for Jason on his store account, she is sitting on his bed and watching the TV. She tells him, "Look! Your mother gave me all these lives!" Taking into account how much she freaked out when she was on a TV and the fact that she says, "Your mother gave me all these lives" does she think that the people on the TV are slaves that have been enchanted into this box and forced to provide her entertainment? Not cool, Jessie--especially considering your history.

    • Like 6

  13. Posted

    • I could have sworn that Jonathan Silverman starred in this movie.

     

     

    That was my memory too. Maybe it was because Andrew McCarthy was in the first one...

     

    Wait a minute! Andrew McCarthy was in the first Mannequin. The guy in this one kind of resembles Jonathan Silverman. It's a bad sequel to a classic 80's movie made in the 90's. Holy Shit! Does that mean we might get Weekend at Bernie's 2 in the near future? If so, I am ON BOARD! Hell, I might just watch it for the heck of it...

     

    weekend-at-bernies-ii-large.jpg

    • Like 2

  16. Posted

    You know what I might not... Cause I have never seen Mannequin and I don't know if I want to "find ways" to watch both of them tonight.

     

    I've never seen the first one either, but I know it has nothing to do with this movie.

     

    Also, I believe Paul said it would be a day late...? Which I hope means it will come out Monday and not Saturday. Weekends are just no good for me when it comes to podcasts. I have a lot more time to enjoy them when I'm working :P

    • Like 3

  19. Posted

    Mark explaining what the crab was supposed to be: "Crab was the embodiment of this whole idea of Einsteinian theory of relativity."

     

    WAT.

     

    I fail to see the problem...Are you suggesting the crab wasn't "the embodiment of this whole idea of Einsteinian theory of relativity" and that he may have been hoping to legitimize his silly little magical crab movie by associating it with a theory he obviously doesn't understand? I find that hard to believe. He's heard of Einstein, so he's obviously super smart and stuff...

     

    Here's a little game for the forums. What are words or phrases that make you want to say "Fuuuuuck you!" when people use them because they are obviously only saying them because it makes that person feel like they are coming across as smart/deep.

     

    For me, it's "extended metaphor." Which, I am sad and ashamed to admit, is a term I've used in my distant past.

     

    Im-so-so-sorry.gif

    • Like 2

  20. Posted

    "The Devil beating his wife" isn't normal? I swear on my local beer barn that was what I was told it was when I was a kid.

     

    Just wanted to say, this made me giggle quite hard :)

     

    The fact there are people in this country that refer to a sunshower as "the Devil beating his wife," "the wolf is giving birth," or "a fox's/monkey's wedding" makes me feel real concerned for the upcoming election. Like, real concerned.

     

    By the way, my wife's quiz was waaaaaaaay off. She's from up and down the east coast and they put her in California and Nev-add-a. She's never even been to that side of the country.

    • Like 5

  21. Posted

     

    Wait did you not get that question!? It asked what do you call a place where you can drive through and pick up alcohol! I've only actually seen 1 in my area but then it closed, but I've heard that Louisiana is rampant with these places.

     

    I did not get that question...

     

    I've seen them before, though. I call them "mistakes."

    • Like 3

  23. Posted

    I think we need to force Paul to take this test.

     

    Actually I think we should all take it. It got me down exactly as North Texas. Fuckin' test.

     

    I had my doubts that it would be able to place me due to the fact I'm the son of two Canadians (I'm still one by birth) and having moved around so much as a kid, but it nailed me pretty well in the South to Central Florida area. I don't live there anymore, but it is the place I spent the most time growing up. I will say though, if you take all the other questions out, I'm pretty sure they could peg someone pretty easily with the "mountain lion, cougar, puma" question.

    • Like 1

  24. Posted

    I noticed that Paul pronounces "Sbarro" like "sparrow", remaining faithful to his chosen faction in the Mario/Marry-o Civil War.

     

    Preface: I lose. Eating and trying on clothes is totally fine. Mea culpa. I'm not going to defend that position. However, that being said...

     

    I found it funny that his example of not "eating til bloating" and "we don't eat with our hands" was getting a slice of pizza at Sbarro. Is he eating his pizza with a fork and knife like some kind of alien?

     

    ETA: I think his other example was a steak and cheese sub. Again, weird choice to make your point...

  25. Posted

    Literally the mall that my friends and I would go to in high school has a Hot Topic across from the Sbarro. Stop stalking our mall, Paul.

     

    But I envision him to look like the dude's I went to school with. Just with those huge flared black pants, wearing three studded belts (none of which are doing their job), black spikey hair with bangs covering one eye, a My Chemical Romance shirt, and of course nothing is complete without the heavy black eyeliner.

     

    ETA: THOSE PANTS IN THAT PICTURE THAT CAMERON JUST POSTED!

     

    Is emo even a thing anymore? I always thought it was the dumbest thing ever. Like, I get being a part of a counter culture, but at least nominally, most of those types of group were being rebellious in an attempt to put forward some sort of message. Emo always felt so defeatist and passive. Like, "I'm an upper middle class white kid and the world sucks. I guess I'll try to win the trophy for Daddy's Biggest Disappointment."

     

    sad-emo-kid-has-to-buy-iphone_o_2477695.jpg

     

    I remember my old guitar player wanted to make our punk band more emo and I was like, "Nope, I'm out." He still plays in the LA area from what I understand...if anyone in that area is interested in that kind of thing.

    • Like 3
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