Cameron H.
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Posts posted by Cameron H.
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OH WAIT I AM SORRY BUT CAPTAIN AMERICA WOULD HAVE NEVER MADE CLINT BARTON LEAVE NATASHA BEHIND LIKE THAT! NEVER EVER!
AND HE DOES!!!!
He gives a look like, "Fuck, I guess I just leave her then. That sucks." To add to your 616 vs. Ultimate argument, 616 Hawkeye used to bump heads with Cap a lot--especially in the early days. So him disobeying Cap's order would not only make him more likeable ("Fuck him, I'm going to save my friend no matter the consequences."), but would have given him a reason to be insubordinate to Cap, which would have been in line with that characterization. You wouldn't even need his family to be there--who I am convinced are only in the movie to trick us into liking the movie version of Hawkeye.
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I swear I was gonna post about how quippy Whedon's dialogues are and how they don't resemble normal human speech before I'd read your post.
Whedon's dialogues are nails scratching down the chalkboard of my brain. They are so smug and wink-y. And yes, full of quips. You know how writers usually write dialogues in service of plot and characters? It's as if Whedon's goals are to fill up the quotes page on IMDB and to generate content for Tumblr and Buzzfeed .
I think the Black Widow/Hulk relationship is icky too. Something about Black Widow's Hulk whispering.
Watching AoU it struck me that the dialogue, in addition to being annoying as fuck, also sounded really dated. There was a time it seems that everyone tried to write like Whedon, but people have thankfully moved on. Hopefully the Age of Whedon is over. I can't imagine studios would want to work with Whedon anymore what with his track record of badmouthing them. And if that means more opportunites for new-ish movie directors like Scott Derrickson, whose only notable work is the quite good Sinister, then even better.
Exactly, I wouldn't even say dated so much as, "not in line with the characters." The line Iron Man says, "You and Banner better not be playing hide the zucchini" is not only just gross, but is something a Middle Schooler might say, not an adult with Tony Stark's supposed level of sophistication.
And, not to bring up the "monster" thing again, I don't think it is terrible to write a character who can't have a child to feel "less than." I have an Aunt (my favorite Aunt) who has battled with cancer for much of her adult life. She has never had children--never even really expressed an interest in having children--but when she was in her forties, she had to have most of her reproductive organs removed to save her life. I remember sitting in a hotel room with her as she sobbed about how that made her feel. That even if she never had children of her own, and probably never would have anyway, she felt less like a woman because that option had been taken away from her. That's pretty heavy stuff. So I get where BW is coming from, but it is such a delicate issue that it can't be fully explored in a 5 minute scene in a movie where robots are trying to destroy the world--especially not in the context that she is comparing herself to a gigantic, rage monster, who may or may not have just killed a bunch of innocent people. And, at the very least, if you feel this line has to be in the movie, at least have Banner say, "You're not a monster..." They just leave it there, like, I guess since she can't have babies it must be true. Otherwise, take it out of the movie! It doesn't belong here. If you want her to feel like a monster, why not just bring up all the pre-established "red in her ledger" bull crap?
I'm sorry, guys. I know no one wants to come here and hear me rail against a movie that came out months ago, but damn. The more I think of it, the more AoU pisses me off. I hate the fact that there are three women in it--all of whom are supposed to be strong--and they are treated like crap. Aside from all the Black Widow nonsense, you have Maria Hill who is attacked on the Helicarrier and is not allowed to deliver the killing blow on a robot--she shoots it six times or so and then Fury has to jump in to finish it off.
You also have the Scarlet Witch, who is busy wrecking a bunch of Ultrons, but suddenly--in the middle of tearing them apart--is overcome with fear and needs Hawkeye to come in and give her a pep talk. What the Hell, movie? Why couldn't it be Quicksilver who is overcome? It might have made his death more impactful and less Whedon-esque "death for death's sake."
After seeing this movie, I couldn't be happier that the Russo's are taking over. Unfortunately, they are still saddled with a lot of Whedon's BS, but I think they'll be able to successfully navigate around the detritus.
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I am decidedly NOT a Whedon fanboy and I wish the guy wouldn't air his Show Business dirty laundry like he's done, especially after the Avengers movies made bajillions for Marvel, Disney, and himself. Sure, I can see why someone involved in Fantastic Four would be super pissed about what happened to that film, but why blame other people for what happened on a movie that most people enjoyed (well, at least I did) and made everybody a bunch of money? I don't get it. Firefly, sure, give Fox shit; it's their fault for hiring Whedon to make a Whedon show, then getting scared and messing with it when it was too Whedon. But blaming Marvel for the content of AoU seems like burning bridges that are still perfectly functional and well-maintained and currently in use by motorists just trying to get to work. I just want good stories, man!
I agree with you on this. I brought up the cave thing, because by virtue of him bringing it up, I was left no choice but to compare the scenes. Had he not said anything, when I watched the cave scene, all I could have said was, "That was weird and out of place," but otherwise, pretty harmless.
I just felt like the movie had too much of Whedon's stink on it--and this is coming from someone who generally likes a lot (not all) of what he has done. I just didn't feel like there was dialog in the movie, just an endless stream of quips. And while some were funny, there were so many of them that none of them had room to breathe. It was like the entire movie was written backward (i.e. "I want Iron Man to say this line, so what can I have Cap say to get IM to say that?"). It just didn't feel like anything was organic (Ha! They fight robots in this movie!). And when the movie wasn't preoccupied with "what funny thing can someone say here?" it was awash in pseudo-sentimentality.
BW: I would've joined you, but uh, it didn't seem like the right time.
BB: They used up all the hot water.
BW: I should've joined you.
BB: Missed our window.
BW: Did we?
It's like Whedon has forgotten how people actually talk. Or, at the very least, doesn't understand how relationships work. The Black Widow/ Hulk thing just felt so icky. I mean, I get it. Hawkeye, Widow, and Hulk don't have their own franchises so let's get into their characters more. Let's give Hawkeye a farm and a family! That's "depth of character," right? And his wife, she'll be like, a total baby factory. This is to establish that she's not a monster. Great Idea! And, okay, what's Widow going to do? Well, she's got a vagina, doesn't she? I guess we better give her a boyfriend--even if that relationship hasn't been pre-established or make any sense! Boom! Character growth! High fives, everyone!
The whole movie just made me ask:
What the FUCK is goin' on here?!
And to be fair, I think the reason I had such issues with it is that I expected so much from it and really wanted to like it.
Also, I loved Maximum Overdrive!
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It had some problems and I wish the Hawkeye character had his own Netflix series based on the Matt Fraction run of comics rather than have to compete with Space Gods by having a log cabin, but I still liked it.
Yes! I couldn't agree more!
At the end of Cap 2, I was looking forward to Cap 3 more than I was Avengers 2, and by the end of Avengers 2, I STILL wanted Cap 3 more than anything. Like someone else mentioned, this felt like a weird middle chapter, and minus a couple of key characters, it seems like "Civil War" might be the Avengers movie that I REALLY wanted.
Yes! I couldn't agree more!
While I'm happy that they did something with Hawkeye to make him more interesting, I too was kind of crushed that the whole family revelation kind of squashes any hope of him living in a shitty apartment building and having misadventures with his wacky neighbors and the Tracksuit Draculas in his off-time. Actually, it doesn't HAVE to, he has to stay SOMEWHERE when he's in the city, but I don't think we'll see it, which is a shame because it lends itself SO fucking well to a TV show, bro!
Yes! I couldn't agree more, bro!
And why have an ancient god call Black Widow a gendered insult (it's so vile that I refuse to type it out) in The Avengers? Anyway, there's nothing I want to say about Joss Whedon that hasn't already been said by josswhedonisnotafeminist.tumblr.com.
Yes! I couldn't agree more!
This has been one of my biggest pet peeves about Whedon is that it is never his fault, it is always someone else's doing when something in his project doesn't work.
Yes! I couldn't agree more!
There has been a push to have a series based on the female Hawkeye with Aubrey Plaza in the role, which I think is a perfect fit. Plus I would love to see the bro army in live action, bro.
Yeah, Bro--I couldn't agree more, bro!
Well Paul read one of my comments this week, so. Worth it.
Yes! I couldn't agree more!
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I liked Ultron mostly for the performances from the actors, especially the villains. I just found it weird that Marvel was using a tent-pole movie in their series more to promote ideas in upcoming films rather than focus on what was built up towards the Avengers movie.
See, that didn't bother me too much. I'm not going to go so far as to say AoU angered me, but I will say I was disappointed and it should really think about what it did....
Maybe part of my problem was I just got around to finishing Daredevil on Friday, which I felt was really, really good, and then I turn around and see...this. I mean, a lot of the bad things about it have already been said about Ultron online, but I will say that I could easily spot a Whedon scene from a Marvel mandated scene, and in my opinion, Marvel was mostly right and Whedon was almost always wrong.
For instance, Whedon said:
"The dreams were not an executive favorite either — the dreams, the farmhouse, these were things I fought to keep … With the cave, it really turned into: they pointed a gun at the farm’s head and said, “Give us the cave, or we’ll take out the farm,” — in a civilized way. I respect these guys, they’re artists, but that’s when it got really, really unpleasant."
Um...the cave--although pointless for this movie's plot--lasted maybe 3 minutes? The goddamn dreams and farm house, on the other hand, Christ--they had to have made up at least a quarter of the film's entire run time--and they were interminable! Jesus man, Marvel is just asking for three minutes to set up Infinity War, and you're going to give them shit?
And, I'm sorry, but having your only female Avenger say, "You still think you're the only monster on the team?" because she had sterilization forced upon her--that's fucked up. Why is that even something that has to happen in an Avengers movie? And, for that matter, why does Black Widow have to be with anyone and why do babies have to factor into it at all?
I could go on, but I'll spare everyone my vitriol. It's not like I would suggest it for HDTGM or anything--it's not that kind of bad. It just did not make me happy. The things I did like about it were the things that only happened briefly. For example: I thought Andy Serkis' character was much more interesting than Ultron; I liked The Vision; I wish there had been more Falcon and War Machine; and I feel like the Twins were a wasted opportunity. Other than that, I don't really have anything good to say about it.
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I had three movies to watch this weekend, none of which I had seen, and only time enough to watch one. They were: Mad Max: Fury Road, Avengers: Age of Ultron, and Maximum Overdrive. I chose to watch the Avengers...
I'm a Marvel guy, but damn if that wasn't a steaming pile of crap. I guess this is what I get for shirking my HDTGM responsibilities.
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Time flies when you're having fun!
Do we need Maxwell Keeper to fly in from Tallahassee?
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Holy shit guys, this trailer is terrifying. Stephen King looks insanely creepy.
Did he scare the Hell out of you?
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No, Paul, I haven't been a best commenter before. In fact, the only other minisode where my C/O got on was TMNT 2. Apparently, I can only make it onto movies I genuinely like (or that I worshiped as a kid).
Weren't you a co-winner on that one w/ Taylor Anne, Cambert, and Plan B? Besides, Paul thinks you're a winner, and isn't that all that really matters?
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Between "I'm shit with emotional math" from the F&F fanfic and "Garbage trash for babies" over on the CBB forum, this week has brought me two awesome new idioms that I plan to use as much and as obnoxiously as possible for the foreseeable future.
Thanks Earwolf!
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Paul and Rob Huebel are on the Nerdist podcast today promoting Crash Test. There's some talk of Furious 7 and Maximum Overdrive (spoilers for the next full ep?). But the most important thing I learned is that June has special nicknames for people in her phone. Paul is "Special Bunny."
Yeah, I listened to it as well and was really close to proposing another universal Display Name change for the forums where we all changed our display names to variations of "Special Bunny 1, 2, 3, etc..." Unfortunately, my last attempt at these types of hijinks didn't go as well as I'd hoped.
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^This actually may be an applicable use of the term retarded.
Also "garbage trash for babies" is funny. I came to this conclusion because I have a sense of humor and also reason and understanding of context, irony, and satire. Something the author of the OP obviously doesn't.
I think we all gave their accusation an honest and fair review but it has been found lacking.
If they are a fan of some of these shows on Earwolf, I urge them to reevaluate their sensitivities.
HA! You know what? I promise, that prior to writing my post and saying that I personally felt that calling someone/something "retarded" was offensive, I read everyone's post. I did not even catch that Theindigi had written that...
I guess it just goes to show, if you aren't looking to be offended, you won't be.
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If only someone had quoted someone else making the exact same joke on the same page he posted!
I didn't know that the ghost of Milton Berle had a account on the Earwolf forums...
Here's my title for Fast 10:
Fast 10: They Use the Wrong Side of the Maxi Pad in the Glove Box to Bandage Dom's Wound: the Movie.
I realize that's a mouthful, but we can easily abbreviate it to F10TUWSMPGBBDWM for simplification.
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First of all, I feel a bit awkward addressing this obvious and desperate cry for attention--if that wasn't what your intent was, then I cannot fathom why you bothered to paste your email to Scott in its entirety on the forums. However, if your intent was to get everyone to listen to a live episode recorded three years ago--mission accomplished.
If you actually bothered to listen to the episode, you'd realize that the jokes came after Gelman contentiously (humorously) accused Scott of being a "Super Christian"--which I find very hard to believe is anywhere close to being factual. Put in this position, the only logical (comedic) place for Scott to take this accusation was to "yes/and" what Gelman was saying. If you honestly believe that these were Scott's beliefs, then I can only conclude that comedy is just not for you. You gave it a shot, but ultimately, you failed. For that, I'm truly sorry.
Look man, I get it. We all have our comedy demarcations. For me, I don't think rape jokes or calling people a "retard" is funny--at all! Yet, in this very episode, Jon Daly (as John Daly the Golfer) did both of those things, and do you know what I did? I just didn't laugh. It was pretty easy. Do you know what I'm not going to do? Demand an apology from Jon Daly for a bit he did three years ago. Why? Because, based on what I know of him from interviews and various podcasts, I don't think they reflect his true, personal beliefs. I will continue to judge him for his current actions rather than words long since said. You are under no obligation to think anything anyone says is funny, but demanding an apology from Scott seems to be more of a weird power trip on your part rather than any genuine distress over what was said during the show.
I can only assume that you must be 1.2....
ETA: Oh, and how dare you evoke Harris Wittles' name in your little diatribe to somehow strengthen your argument. Fuck you.
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You're right about everything but one minor point (that doesn't really affect your argument, but I feel compelled to correct anyway). Brian and Mia split up at the end of the first movie after Brian reveals he's a cop. They don't actually get back together until near the end of the fourth movie. During the second movie, he was trying to get with Evan Mendes for most of it.
But that's the only other woman we ever see him pursue. Otherwise, you're totally right, and it's been Mia. He ate shitty tuna sandwiches for months to try to hook up with her; I don't really buy that he was out chasing a bunch of racer chicks.
Fair point. I re-watched 2 Fast about a month ago and I couldn't remember if he and Mendes had a thing or not. I read the plot summary on Wikipedia and I didn't see anything. I mean, if you can't go to Wikipedia to confirm whether or not two characters hook up in a movie then I think we need to just get rid of the whole damn thing.
Also:
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I have a couple of additional observations on F7 that I don't think anyone has touched on yet.
When Dom and Mia are leaving the house just before it blows up she tells Dom that Brian "misses the bullets," but does anyone else recall what he told her before that? According to Mia, Brian tells her, "He doesn't miss the girls. He doesn't miss the cars..." Um...he "doesn't miss the girls?" Since the first movie, hasn't it always been Brian and Mia? I know they are separated for a time between the first and fourth movie, and since the chronology of these movies is a bit wonky it makes it hard to determine, but when was he ever just fucking around with the race car groupies? And even if during their estrangement he did stray, is that something you'd ever tell your significant other? "You know, honey--you'd think that the thing I miss most is all the indiscriminate sex I've had with the scantily clad, racer babes, but you'd be wrong. It's actually all the near death experiences, I miss the most. Although, sometimes they were one and the same, if you know what I'm saying! Oops, sounds like our son needs another bottle. I'll be right back..."
I would also guess that one of the "miss the bullets" scenes would have had to have been done after Walker's death (I'm thinking the bomb scene)*--since the second scene feels redundant to the first. If not, I guess it just further proves what a raging narcissist Dom is since--when he says it to Brian--he has this look on his face like, "I get it man. I'm so close to you, I know exactly how you're feeling." No dipshit, you're just parroting back what Mia told you word for word. Stop trying to get this guy to buy that you've got some mystical hotline to his soul.
The other moment that kind of bums me out is in Abu Dhabi just before their daring three skyscraper escape from Shaw. In this scene, they've driven the car through a wall into the party, Letty is laid out on the floor, and Roman rushes to help her. The elevator chimes, and who should walk out, but the inexorable Deckard Shaw who fires a couple of rounds into the ceiling for good measure. He tries to stop Dom, but even getting hit by a car isn't enough to slow him down. Pandemonium breaks loose. They're only means of escape is to launch the car out of a window. Shaw chases after them, but there's nothing he can do. Our heroes have escaped! Well, Dom and Brian have escaped, anyway; Letty and Roman, on the other hand...I guess they just escape through the ancient art of movie editing.
I mean, Shaw is after everyone that he blames for his brother's condition, not just Dom. And although it could be argued that Roman, and a severely injured, Letty (who just made a huge scene by being in a brutal fight with one of the bodyguards) were able to make their escape with the rest of the partygoers, but Dom can't possibly know that! He makes zero effort to rescue them or ensure their safety. For all he knows he just left a really good friend and his "lover" to the whims of a madman just so he could pull off a really sick stunt. What a prick!
*In all fairness, if one of these scenes was added after Walker's death, it is a credit to the filmakers that I can't tell which one it is.
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When I was 6 or 7 years old, an aunt gave me a Fisher-Price telescope for Christmas in an effort to foster my burgeoning interest in science. The set included a number of plastic slides that you could insert into the telescope to see photographs of various planets/nebulae/etc. Several days later, we were discussing the gift and, when I got to the part about the slides, I called them stupid. Though I was a dumb little kid, the upset in her voice was unmistakeable.
I'm reminded of this incident at least once a week and, every time, I am struck anew with a profound wave of shame.
Comedy podcasts, am I right?
Hey Dan, if it makes you feel any better, I think everyone has a "Man, was I an ungrateful little shit" memory from childhood. For me, when I was 11 or 12 and just getting into Little League, my grandmother got me this Teddy Bear alarm clock for Xmas, that when the alarm went off, it said something like, "Strike one! Strike two. Get out of bed or you're OUT!" It was terrible! I mean, I think it would have been a fine gift were I five or six, but I was pushing thirteen--practically a grown-up. How was I going to score with all the hot girls I was sure to be dating with this piece of shit by the bed? Crazy, right?
Anyway, I don't think I said anything, but my reaction to it was of utter contempt and disgust. So much so, that later my mother had to take me aside and give me a reality check. For the rest of the holiday I really tried to sell (unsuccessfully) that it was actually a pretty cool gift.
Of course, there are a lot of things we regret or wish we had handled differently. For my part, I try to treat these events like something that lingers on your credit report--after seven years, just let it drop off. You were a different person then, and hopefully, you've learned from your mistake. This theory makes even more sense--in a literal way--if you buy into the (false) theory that every seven years you have regenerated completely new cells.
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You know, we could go way off the reservation and do a musical..?
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I appreciate this movie's commitment to the grand tradition of holding characters just off screen so they can make an entrance when it's dramatically appropriate.
Mr. Nobody: "Okay, here's what's going to happen: I'm going to talk to Toretto and try to convince him to help us. He's not going want to do it, but eventually he'll agree to it after we stroke his ego for a bit, but that's not going to be enough for him. You see, he's going to want his people. So, I'm going to steer the conversation until he says the words, 'Good. But It'll be my way. And my crew.' Once he says this, I'm going to direct his attention to the front of the hanger and BAM! there's his crew! Of course, there's no real strategic reason for doing this, and we could probably achieve the same effect through editing, but...I just kind of want to blow his tiny little mind a little bit."
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Cam are you saying Luda is like the Bible?
Ludachrist?
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Not QUITE the type of negative response that we're used to seeing after a live episode hits...
I wanted to express my outrage as well, but between Jason abusing the audience and the sound quality being absolute garbage, I couldn't even listen to it.
Does that take us back to a place of normalcy?
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however, that was before i saw it. i dont mean its going to win the best picture oscar, and im probably making an arse out of myself here, but i do think its going to get nominated for the best original song.
i know not everyone likes wiz khalifa's "see you again" but unless theres a musical coming out over the next few months i think it will get a nod. it fit perfectly with what i thought was a perfectly judged exit for paul walkers character.
I actually agree with you, but if I had to pick my favorite song from the movie it would have to be this one...
I loved how well it worked with Shaw leaving the blown out hospital at the beginning.
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Something that kind of bugged me during the parachute heist scene was when they are all lined up and the bad guys start firing at them. I mean, we know we don't have to worry about our heroes because they have bulletproof cars--which we know because Ludacris tells us so. But then, when they roll up beside the bus and are fired upon, we suddenly have ample cause for worry because the bad guys are using armor piercing bullets--which we know because Ludacris tells us so.
So...if the bad guys have access to armor piercing rounds, and are serious about security, why aren't all their guns loaded with armor piercing bullets?
I would have loved it if they went through all the trouble of parachuting in just to be immediately gunned down. Then, if any of them managed to survive, they'd realize that concocting "a plan" requires more than just blindly following the advice of a man who points randomly at a map just to win a dick measuring contest.
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So it's up to me now.
Don't you see? It has always been up to you. It is only now that you can see that for yourself.
Your training is now complete.
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EPISODE 118.5 - MINISODE 118.5
in How Did This Get Made?
Posted
Can we all just stop for a moment and drool over Fraction's Hawkeye (Hawkguy? ) run?
Also, I doubt they'll have the budget for it, but I hope the Netflix Iron Fist show borrows liberally from his Immortal Iron Fist run. If you haven't read it, it is fantastic. Same artist (Aja) he had with Hawkeye. It made Iron Fist my favorite Marvel hero right beside (Richard Rider) Nova.