Elektra Boogaloo

I want to bump this up because Paul Rudd was on Conan's podcast and they talked about how Rudd always shows a clip from "Mac and Me" when he's on Conan. He mentioned the other option was "Baby Geniuses" and it made me want to see it. Rudd approved!

I hear Jason thinks this is a big bag of no thanks and it is now rotten on RT and apparently $100 mil in the hole.

Description: Recorded live from Charleston, South Carolina, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the 2008 romantic comedy The Hottie and the Nottie starring Paris Hilton. They talk about June auditioning for the role of the Nottie, earth suits, the stalker, farts, and much more. This episode is brought to you by Bombas (www.bombas.com/BONKERS), World of Warcraft Classic (www.wowclassic.com/howdidthisgetmade), and Starbucks Triple Shot Energy Drink. Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: http://www.earwolf.com/show/unspooled/ Check out our tour dates over at www.hdtgminfo.com! Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepubli…wdidthisgetmade Where to Find Jason, June & Paul: @PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter @Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on twitter it is still very early here on the East Coast but my neighbor kept me up by watching very loud movies and I will murder him eventually. I didnt watch this movie and I am so glad after listening to this episode. It sounds like it was written by incels. Maybe it originated on 8chan. There is a huge problem with media in our society where men EXPECT to be able to date a woman like Paris Hilton just for being. They don’t have to be smart or funny or earn a “high status” mate (and here I would point out that there is an issue with a woman being hot and dumb—which is her persona, I have never met her—as being that “thing” that every man wants). i would like to believe there was another version of the script where the main guy ends up with June, and it was about realizing looks don’t matter, and that perhaps the studio decided he had to end up with Paris Hilton if it’s a Paris Hilton movie. That is perhaps the nicest thing I can think to say. I’d also like to point out that the actress who did get the role of June, was on the TGIF show “Step-by-Step” and I thought she was gorgeous. The fact that they can’t even find an average looking person to give those teeth to is a scathing indictment of how Hollywood treats women in and of itself. They don’t exist in Hollywood’s world. ETA: did anyone have a crush in 1st grade? That seems to early to me. Isn’t there a thing where people who are molested are sexual too young? Could that be what is happening?

I'm a bit worried about the director of Country Bears. There was sadness in his voice even though he was trying to mask it. It's okay, man. We all do jobs we don't love.

I didn't watch this movie but I have a confession about the Second Opinions song. I used to think the Boyz II Men remix of Yesterday was the original. So when they were singing, "I had a moment of like "oh it's the Boyz II Men song.. wait. Stop it, Emily." Anyway. Just wanted to come embarrass myself.

Does anyone else think a lot of perfumes smell the same? Like they used to have samples in magazines and it was always nasty and I think they smell like that? I don't like it. I like something fruity or whatever or maybe maybe floral. Something that smells like a thing from nature? Not like, "oh you smell like chemicals"? Anyway, I read something yesterday that bummed me out and I guess I will share with you guys to bum you out to (question mark?). I read something about John Singleton, who died, obviously. And it talked about how he was the youngest person ever nominated for best director for his very first movie (Boyz in the Hood) and then it mentioned his final film was "Abduction". And I was like his first movie got him nominated for an Oscar and his final film was a How Did This Get Made? movie with Taylor Lautner? That's the worst career trajectory I have ever heard of.

I like perfume but I like it when it's light and I think (hope?) only I can smell it. It's for me, not other people. I want it to be like other people would have to smell my neck to know. It's a big fear that I have that I'm putting on too much and other people are annoyed or their allergies are triggered.

I think they meant the robot to be “el” (Male pronoun in Spanish) but forgot to look it up and called it “Elle” because that is the level of research. I loved all cheering for librarians. Should we have a meet up at the next ALA? Also what was the June earrings/collar joke?

this is great.

Abuse is a cycle. People who are abused often copy the behavior. That is why we have to talk about it and get therapy and be better. I didn't know this about Kirk Douglas but it explains a lot, actually. (Possibly, if the rumors are true, why he would rape Natalie Wood who was also a teenager because he wouldn't see her as under any age of consent.) Anyway, thanks to those who shared their stories. I was sexually assaulted by a maintence man who came to fix a carbon monoxide detector in my apartment. I've often wondered if society (see: porn) might have put a bug in his brain that it's okay to climb into a woman's bed if she's invited you into her bedroom (because the goddamn CO2 monitor has been going off since 4 am!). I do think the messages we send in media are important.

I wanted to thank Gigi-tastic for bringing up that sexual assault does happen to men and that it’s about power and not sex. I would actually like the forums to weigh in on this. It is only tangentially related to this film but it has bothered me since I heard it. You guys may know that there are sexual misconduct allegations against Michael Douglas, and also that there are also long-standing rumors that Kirk Douglas was a sexual predator (it is alleged that he raped Natalie Wood when she was 16). When Kirk was honored at the Golden Globes (apparently as a eff you to the ladies wearing Times Up pins), I read some articles about the rumors around him. There is one story that he readily admits to: Now, obviously, no one likes an anti-Semite and there is some triumph in this. But I was also deeply disturbed with how he used sex as a weapon. Like why not tell her when she’s all hot for you and say, “I can’t fuck you because you are an asshole”. Why do it mid act? It seems like sexual violence in some form. Am I wrong about this? This quote from: https://nypost.com/2016/12/08/how-kirk-douglas-charmed-old-hollywoods-finest-beauties/ I can’t find the original article I read it in.

I was a big Michael Crichton fan when I was young, I read a lot of his books. But I stopped when he got on his “global warming is a hoax” era. I believe he served as a consult for the Bush White House. That was very disappointing for me from someone who was into science and was a doctor. This movie makes me think he was very right wing all along. He’d be on TV saying these women are ruining men’s lives and such.

Conspiracy theory: Jason Mantzoukas is Michael Bay. He *is* on Twitter.

Follow up episode! Support it in the recs thread. There is another thing called Amazon Worlds where content owners basically sold their rights to Amazon? And now authors can write fanfic and sell it there if Amazon says it is okay? If I recall correctly, a lot of them are Alloy Properties like Pretty Little Liars and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? I tried Googling it and got confusing results because Amazon has so many dumb initiatives and they are listening to us all over Alexa and I will probably be attacked by drones for saying this.

I haven't finished listening to the whole ep yet but before I forget, I want to talk a little bit about Wattpad and other apps like it, since (as some of you know) work in publishing. The audience member has a correct description of Wattpad. Plenty of original books and some fanfictions posted on there have been picked up my major publishers. Just this year they announced their own publishing arm. They had previous had a film arm which produced the Netflix movie "The Kissing Booth" which was written on Wattpad and was one of the most watched movies on Netflix for several months. But, as June points out, it would be odd to have an editor at the Wattpad 2017, since they only announced their publishing line this year--unless she is some kind of content editor which it didn't seem like she was. I think in this case the "ChapterPad" of the movie might also have been inspired by some other publishing start-ups of the time. With smart phones getting more popular, a lot of people were intrigued by the idea of people reading on their phones (and 70% of traffic on Wattpad is from mobile devices). There were companies that would send you a chapter of a story each day to your email, for example. Alternatively, it could be an app you subscribed to that would provide the content. In this case, I could see why Rosario Dawson would be needed as an editor, and why she would have to do things by chapter, rather than all at once. This kind of publishing is called "serial" (not like the food, like the killer). It used to be quite popular when newspapers and magazines were the thing. Most of Charles Dickens' novels, which we now read in long form, were originally serialized in the newspaper. Here is a NYT article from the time about some of the "new" apps: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/12/books/review/new-apps-provide-a-world-of-literature-one-chapter-at-a-time.html Publishing likes to find ways to make new things do the old way, instead of imagining what the new things could do.

Congratulations @PollyDarton. June was on Jimmy Kimmel and shared some details on the book and also Paul loving rides. I might be interested in the how to do Disney book, because I might be taking my nephews in November and they are little.

I thought the same thing when the weird lady at the beginning mentioned Street Smarts! The men in this movie are tricky people. Actually, I really don't like the phrase "tricky people" also. It's weirdly giving them more credit (they are dumb gross-os) while condescending to the kids.

Do you guys remember Gawker Stalker? That mapped where celebs were at any given moment? I actually Googled cross country stalking, since he drove from Maine to LA. I think the movie could be this headline almost. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jennifer-aniston-stalker-traveled-cross-country-planning-to-marry-her-authorities-say/

I have a kind of third hand Paris Hilton story. As you guys know, I work in book publishing. Many years ago, Paris came out with a book that was very pink and shiny. I believe it was mostly pictures. Now, this is going to shock you. But she didn't write the book. In fact, most celebrities doesn't write their own books. They have ghostwriters for that. (I believe there was some internet meme a couple years ago about a sports guy--?--who was asked about stuff in his autobiography and he said he didn't read it.) But I was told (and again, I have no actual proof of this so it might not be good for the mini): that Paris had the editor's assistant call her on the phone every night after work so he could read the book aloud to her. A man told me this story. I believe the point of it was, "Paris Hilton can't read, isn't that hilarious?" But I sort of thought it was kind of dedicated, if she has some kind of reading trouble to find a way to get the content anyway? It's like Audible but for her own book, as it was being worked created. This has oddly endeared her to me for some reason. She could have just not known what was in it. (But I hope that assistant got overtime.) She don't read good but she dedicated.

How are you today, Cameron?

Wait Michael Bay is at Unspooled now? That doesn't seem right.

I believe that was a reference to Vanessa Kirby asking the guy who was supposed to watch her while the Rock was on the phone if he was new? I have the Fenty one because apparently I love to give money to Rihanna. It's good but I have very watery eyes my wing doesn't stay in place (since that is where I tear, around the corners). Otherwise fine. ... and I really wanted to see them together.

Oh I wrote this in my notes, that shouldn't he be in the flashbacks of pretend heists. But I think the movie decided it was easier to forget he exists. But to Paul's question regarding the odd ages of the Shaw kids (going by the ages of the actors playing them), Deckard is 52, Owen is 40--so there were twelve years where Deckard got to be the apple of Helen Mirren's eye. I bet he was annoyed when Owen showed up. Hattie is 31. I know the kids in the flashbacks were meant to be Hattie and Deckard, but it would make more sense if they were Hattie and Owen.

Yes this. I wanted more Helen Mirren. I want the next one to be Helen Mirren and Vanessa Kirby training the Rock's daughter to like kick ass, possibly because Hobbs and Shaw were kidnapped? I am spitballing here. But I know Helen Mirren can beat the shit out of people; I have seen Red. (Her and Brian Cox are the best part. Bruce Willis is useless.) @taylorannephoto and @tomspanks and I are going to have a spinoff called How Did This Get Made Up. (Also for the record I always refused to use Kat Von D's eyeliner because I disliked her and now I feel vindicated. I just got a Maybelline gel eyeliner that is supposed to be real good. Will keep you posted.)

This is going to be a long post and I apologize. I actually stayed up to listen to the episode when it dropped last night and I took notes on the podcast, which I have never done before so I wouldn't forget. Will try to bullet point it. -- I am very glad Nicole was there to bring up Vanessa Kirby's eyeliner because it bugged me the ENTIRE movie. Now I've only recently gotten into makeup tutorials on YouTube (if you have free time check out the drama around Jacyln Hill's lipstick line launch. It's wild.) I cannot do a winged eyeliner to save my life; they always come off. So I was impressed that the eyeliner stayed on for THREE FUCKING DAYS. But what amused me the most was that she did put on more makeup in the brief scene where she had the wig on, and she had bright red lips. But that look all comes off... when the Rock snatches her wig off? Again, not a makeup expert, but I am pretty sure that's not how it works. -- The gang seemed confused about the virus and how it worked. I will take a guess. My understanding of it was that three capsules of the virus were inserted into her bloodstream, and after a certain amount of time they would release the virus. I don't think she should have been getting sicker, because if the virus was in her bloodstream at all, then she would die, I think. (And I was glad about that because I thought they were going to make her sick as a way to make her a damsel in distress.) As to who they they think would survive the virus, this is very rudimentary survival of the fittest nonsense. Even if the entire world is exposed, there will be a small percentage of humanity with natural immunity or who somehow survive the initial illness. (Some diseases have been said to kill up to 90% of a given population historically, but that's the highest I know of? Virulogists feel free to chime in. For reference, the "Black Death" killed about 30-60% of the population of Europe and Asia.) -- I did have a quibble with this movie and this is that I thought it went too long and should've ended in Ukraine. -- Did anyone else think the Rock holding the chain to the helicopter was an answer to Chris Evans flexing on the helicopter in CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR? He was like, "I'm going to do that but I'm going to be on a car and there are going to be more people in the helicopter because I am stronger than Captain America." -- I was very excited to hear Tim ask a question, he hasn't been there in awhile and I was worried about him. So, yes Jason, he does get to ask as many questions as he wants. Show some respect. He's a recurring guest star. --Also, of course Helen Mirren fucks when she's older and could be Vanessa Kirby and Jason Statham's mom. Helen is hot. She could still get it. The title card just said "Samoa". It was shot in Hawaii though so it is neither. I thought this too! But what I read is that they wanted the end credit reveal to be that it was Keanu Reeves (as sort of mentioned in the episode) but the scheduling did not work out. I assumed they had to add that other post credits scene with Reynolds because of this, which is why it doesn't really connect that well. But I think it still COULD be Keanu in the next film, right? And, since Reynolds is basically playing Deadpool (the director David Lietch directed DEADPOOL 2) does that mean Keanu will basically be playing John Wick. If so, does Tick Tock Man have any cybernetic enhancements? I know there is something else I forget.