Elektra Boogaloo

I have been spending my bad movie time watching the You Tube series Caravan of Garbage. And I believe @Cam Bertis quoted in their episode on the David Hasselhoff Nick Fury movie. I watched that movie on purpose when it aired but I don’t remember any of it apparently.

I know people were complaining about June using her politics in the HDTGM feed but I was excited to listen to this one. Love Leah Remini since she was on Saved by the Bell and continually impressed with Mike Rinder. (I am fascinated by the fact that he used to do bad things for Scientology. There is a BBC doc by John Sweeney where they basically give Sweeney and mental breakdown by harassing him continually. And now he and Sweeney are friends! It’s kind of inspirational in this very partisan world.) anyway, one note. Should have invited Leah on as a guest! She’d be hilarious.

Pass.

I guess this forum is irrelevant now. I do have an Audible account, but if people want to listen to a lot of audiobooks, I highly recommend Libro.fm or your local library. Not only is Amazon, the owner of Audible (and Mercari, i’ll add) problematic in it’s own right, Audible has recently been accused of a lax return policy being used to cheat authors out of royalties. Further, all those “Audible originals” that they promote are not made available to libraries the way most audiobooks are. So if you support libraries and librarians, get your audiobooks there instead!

I loved the “deleted scene”. Didn’t like the talk of moving to Discord.

Very happy with the sauna burrito discussion. I didn’t watch this film and I am going to say it is due to scientific accuracy. Because of “Jurassic Park”s raptors (which were actually based on another species; I think they just liked the name better) people tend to think that raptors were a lot bigger than they actually were. A velociraptor was actually about one foot tall. They are very closely related to birds. I mean, all dinosaurs are. But the “raptor” name is pretty telling that it’s related to birds of prey. And historical velociraptors DEFINITELY had feathers, as many dinosaur species did. When they make a sequel where the pastor turns into a feathered dinosaur about the size of a vulture that can’t fly, THEN I will watch. Otherwise I find it too unrealistic.

I don’t want to remember Jerry Orbach this way.

I THOUGHT that, like Genie in Aladdin, he could only do what other people wished for. But then there were times he ordered soldiers around and they just listened, so that confused me. You are correct that the rules were unclear. There also seemed to be some confusion between “wants” and “wishes.” Again if we use the “Aladdin” model, he has to say my second wish is... etc. but I do think Cheetah saying she wants to be an apex predator was supposed to count as a wish. Perhaps because the dreamstone is designed to create chaos and not actually to grant wishes, it had very loose policies. I also wondered about timezones. Because why would everyone be awake to hear Lord and Diana talk to them? Do they not e it’s this world. What do we think? Russia was awake. So was the US East Coast, Egypt, I think China?

I have questions about this too. Because I remember thinking, after seeing the CGI in the first WW, that their budget was significantly less than other DCEU movies. And I thought that was because they didn’t believe WW1 would do well. For comparison, “Man of Steel” had a budget of 225-250$. “Wonder Woman”s budget was $120 million. Now that’s still a huge budget but you could tell there were places Patty Jenkins had to make do. (Particularly in the fight with Ares at the end which Jenkins said she didn’t even want in the film.) And this second one had a higher budget, $200 million. But I want to know why Wonder Woman still isn’t getting as much money as the first Superman (which was awful) let alone BvS or Justice League. And that made me wonder if they pulled some last minute type budget stuff (song rights?, some editing) when they realized it would go to streaming and not theaters? Is this a conspiracy theory? Idk. But I feel like the Wonder Woman movies could be better than they are if they were given more attention. The second one needing more help than the first, obviously.

The music was a huge let down.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CJjd882JBIo/?igshid=vs2gucut3yl9 for NYE, Paul and Jason discussed WW84 with a baffled Natasha Leggero and Rob Hubbel. I have a lot to say about this film. I both loved it and hated it. Because everyone was great but it made no sense and kept taking me out of the movie. I kept wanting to tweak things myself or give notes. Seems like we may get a HDTGM about it? Also, I have a question. I haven’t seen the first WW in awhile but isn’t there a scene where she tells Steve she doesn’t have a dad? (That the movie is adhering to the original origin story for her where her mother made her out of clay?) But then in this movie she mentions her dad hiding Themiscyra and I was like, wait is it also in the new timeline where Zeus is her dad???? Help a nerd out.

I relistened to this episode and I love all the screaming. It remind me of my family at holidays. Very appropriate Christmas pick.

It is crazy how we all look ten years younger... Maybe they should do a WALL STREET 2 episode? I have never seen it.

I have a lot to say about this one. As I said in the mini thread, I did not enjoy it. Though obviously glad to have Jessica back. I will have to try to organize my thoughts into numbers. But I am bad. 1. It was shot in Mystic, Connecticut. According to the articles I found, it was shot in May. May by the ocean is VERY different than Christmas. It was also shot in, and yes I am spelling this correctly, Olde Mystick Village. Now I grew up in CT and I haven’t been to this place since my sister’s bachelorette when we went there to buy fancy cheese. But it is a shopping center. It is supposed to mimic a village. But people don’t live there. And I thought, even though I didn’t recognize it until mentioned on the podcast, that it was palpable that no one lived there. There was such a sense of emptiness. 1a. There is a Navy submarine base in Groton, CT and also the Coast Guard Academy is near there in New London, CT. I think that Army order was a prank though. Seaports aren’t known for their standing armies. 2. It is Dec 11 as I write this. Going to save it to drafts for when the episode thread is up. But I am angry. I purchased this film for $.84 on Vudu and I kind of want my money back. When you have a Christmas movie and have two leads, aren’t they supposed to get together at the end? Is that not the tacit agreement we have in Lifetime Christmas movies? I walked away to make some tea (yes, tea, June) and when I came back the Nutcracker was gone and some other guy with weird swoopy hair was there. I did not care for it. 3. I thought this had a chance to be our “MAN-nequin.” They sort of gave Chip a backstory and he could’ve been cursed. Except then Melissa Joan Hart would have to have done something for him, to help him. He kept saying they needed each other. But they didn’t. She needed him. She brought nothing to the table. He just fought the Mouse King for her. Also, the Mouse King was a let down. The Mouse King always scared me in the ballet as a kid and this was just two guys in fake mustaches. They were basically Mario and Luigi. I could take them. 4. Like the hosts, I was confused as to why he was German. I went down a rabbit hole on this. I thought he should be Russian because the ballet is Russian. Now it turns out the ballet is based on a story written in 1816 by a Prussian author. So I thought, “ah! He should’ve been Prussian!” But, Chip is said to be the real Nutcracker who inspired the tale because he has “Made in Germany” tattooed on his neck. This contradicts the earlier statement that he’s the real Nutcracker from the story since it implies that he was manufactured and isn’t a real man at all. Now, things get trickier, the German Republic didn’t exist until 1815. That’s just a year before the story was published and one would think—if he is the “real” Nutcracker—his real life would have had to have happened BEFORE the story based on it was published. It’s just a really tight timeframe for publishing something even today, and I don’t think things were faster in 1815. I also don’t think they had MADE IN GERMANY stamped on things in 1816, even if we allow for him to somehow have been “made” technically in Germany at that time, wouldn’t he have to be hand-carved? I think I could go buy that Nutcracker in any Target today. And I don’t think it’s one that actually cracks nuts either. It looks like the decorative kind. BUT the original story has a character named Drosselmeyer, who is a wood carver and it is his nephew who is turned into THE nutcracker. By naming the old man Drosselmeyer it seems the scriptwriters want to say he is actually from the story. In which case, the way to turn him back human is to promise to love him in spite of his looks (a bushy bearded nutcracker who only turns into a man sometimes). Because the main character swears this and he takes her off to live in his enchanted toy kingdom. Does that mean Melissa Joan Hart couldn’t even manage that? And by moving on to the next hot guy in the uniform she has doomed Barry Watson to more years as a fucking nutcracker, sitting on the shelf and waiting for someone to love him? 5. I can’t figure out the motivations of Drosselmeyer in the movie. Does he just go around giving enchanted nutcrackers to random women? Because if it is supposed to be his nephew, he up and leaves town before the conclusion which makes me think he’s more of a trickster figure. Maybe HE is the Mouse King whose ancestor turned the boy into the nutcracker to begin with, and he’s just keeping him trapped. 6. I found some old German-style nutcrackers on wikipedia, apparently they are supposed to keep bad spirits away—who knew—and they look a lot cooler than this one. https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Nussknackermuseum_002.jpg 7. That was definitely a small kitchen. The “big moment” where Chip cracks the nuts was underwhelming for me. I was like, “well that’s not enough for a thousand cookies.” He had ONE bowl.

Jessica’s text to June and her tech problems made me so happy.i love you, JSC! and happy birthday, Jason. (Though Gish should’ve been the final cameo. That was biggest get.)

Yes and what if you want a snickerdoodle but don’t know who it’s named after, can you still order it?

I have been learning a lot about the Nutcracker because I have started watching “On Pointe” a docu series on Disney+ about ballet students in NYC who are training for the NYC Ballet and/or the little ones that get to be part of the Nutcracker ballet in 2019. In the story the girl main character is named Marie. I was surprised when I read a bad translation of it, because I always thought her name was Clara (because of the ballet). But in above series, they dance the Balanchine (a choreographer who I never heard of but they talk a lot about in the show since he founded ABA) version of the Nutcracker and the girl is called Marie. Does anyone know which ballet version they were dancing in the clips? I assume the classical Russian but I know nothing about ballet.

How are they paying for those mustaches??? It doesn’t add up. Eta: how did Jason phrase it in the country bears episode? Comedy mustaches?

Yes! I thought there was going to be a cut to her waiting for him next year. So when the other military guy showed up I was like, “wait this is still the same year, right?” And if she does start fucking that guy, will Chip still come back next year? Is it some kind of threesome that the woodcarver was setting up?? Is that why the Nutcracker winked at us creepily?? Because once he hooks MJH up with Chip, he immediately leaves to go find a soldier in Germany (also, yes the US had soldiers stationed in Germany stemming from US monitoring after WW2 and then the Cold War era. I knew someone whose husband was stationed there, it was often a midway point to going to Afghanistan or Iraq. Though I remember reading this year that Trump thought they were a waste or something.) And then he sends that soldier to MJH. What is his deal???

Anyone know a way to buy or rent Netflix movies if you don’t have Netflix? I can’t find this “Knight for Christmas” one that is Friday’s livestream anywhere.

I did not enjoy this one. It made me angry. I don’t know if it’s my residual 7th Heaven hate or what. But it made me miss Mario Lopez. .

I watched the livestream tonight and I am very excited to hear Jessica’s take on the KFC Recipe for Seduction “mini-movie.”

Okay but would it be better if Reba (or RoboCop) were playing Colonel Sanders?

I am really excited to talk about this. The commercial for CATS used to terrify me as a child. Then when the movie came out I paid $20 (!) for it. Why? Because I knew HDTGM would cover it. (And actually, in hindsight, I think the makeup and costumes that scared me so much as a kid were a plus for the musical. Because if you went, at least you knew they put that amount of effort into it.) Then I managed to actually miss the live stream. The PFT opening made me happy. Too bad he wasn’t there for the livestream either. I want to talk about Ian Mckellen. I saw an interview with him when they asked him about the cat school. I believe it was Stephen Colbert. Because apparently the actors had to go learn the cat movement, which Paul mentions. And McKellen straight up was like “oh I didn’t go to that. I’m Ian McKellen.” I would bet June’s feeling that it came and went is because some actors did not go. And when I watched the film, he and Jennifer Hudson were my faves. Hudson is obviously for her singing. McKellen isn’t a great singer. But I still liked watching him. I would posit that the “cat school” made people worse. Interesting when Jason says he thought kids invented Cats, because it is based on children’s poems by TS Eliot. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Possum's_Book_of_Practical_Cats It is what an adult thinks kids want.

He isn’t even trying to do the accent. Which might be for the best but it’s super strange to see a Latino man as the Southern Colonel.