Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

Elektra Boogaloo

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    987

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    35

Posts posted by Elektra Boogaloo

  1. Posted

    Gods are powered by mortal faith, a point addressed in Clash of Titans and other films/books/etc I forget. It makes no sense for Freya to have anything to do with Maori tribes, or Buddha giving blessings to Vikings. Horus can't do shit in Japan because nobody believes in him there, and he can't interact with gods from other cultures because neither he nor his followers acknowledge them. Gods can't will their own existence into being through their faith in themselves; their power is directly related to how many followers they have.

     

    *Also, this would explain the flat Earth in the movie; that is simply the scope of the world as the mortals and therefore their gods see it. (I actually thought that was a neat detail.)

     

    How about this? The movie takes place in Bek's head as he dies (I assume after getting crushed by a falling building), like Jacob's Ladder. That's why it's so nonsensical and thinks the world is flat.

    • Like 3

  3. Posted

    Damm you Paul. After talking about it for ages, he never actually told us what the Riddle of the Sphinx was, so now I might have to actually look it up myself. My life is so hard. :).

    I *did* have to look it up because I thought it was just going to be the traditional riddle of the Sphinx but it clearly wasn't so it bugged me. I found a clip on YouTube. And, for what it's worth, it's not the Jon Bon Jovi guy who answers. It is Chadwick Boseman, but all the dialogue is so casual and thrown away it was hard to tell.

     

    (So you don't have to look it up, the Sphinx asks, "I always was, and never am to be. No one ever saw me, nor ever will, yet I am the confidence of all who live and breathe." T'Challa--who is gorgeous in this scene--first guesses Order, then Charity and finally "Tomorrow.")

     

    Eh, this is quite surely on me. I guess I'm pretty down right now, nothing to do with you really. However, Auden hit the nail on the head when she wrote "Cameron H. and Quasar Sniifer are both veteran posters who are well-liked and respected. We tend to write long posts and go off on tangents and go off-topic on this forum. So if these things bother you, you probably won't be happy here" - she's right, I feel occasionally that this forum, considering it is not a chat, is too much like a "home environment" for a select few (2nd language here, I hope this works) and get annoyed with the "white noise" I sometimes need to read past. Other times I have no problem with that at all, so like I said, this is most likely on me.

     

    I'm sorry you're having trouble with us. Or stupid jokes must not make much sense in a second language. Thanks for clarifying. We will try to be more understanding.

     

    No one cares how your dick feels about an actress's physical appearance.

    I…I don't know how to handle this situation…

    Kidding.

    Mostly.

    Heh.

     

    Edited to Add: I just had a Thought. The Thought mostly consisted of me trying to make a joke about how I didn't like NCW's dumb eyepatch. And then I realized Odin's eyepatch in the "Thor" movies is way cooler. Is that why the second opinions person refers to him as Odin? Because he has one eye?

     

    Confession: I know zero about Norse Mythology except what disinformation Marvel has taught me and didn't realize until just now that Odin is usually depicted as having one eye. He sometimes has both in the comics...

    • Like 5

  7. Posted

    Full disclosure: I dedcided not to rent this movie. (And Cameron H.'s story made me glad I didn't). I watched some clips online and decided Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister, obvs) didn't look hot enough for it to be worth it. That was my literal decision making process. Like I will watch some hot, hot garbage movies but Jaime Lannister better not have a fucking rag over his pretty eyes the whole time.

     

    Anyway, as a Song of Ice and Fire nerd I feel it my duty to point out that the character is not "Kevin" Lannister it is Kevan. With an A. Because George RR Martin likes to do this weird thing where he spells names wrong to make it sound old timey. Petyr ("Peter"). Jeyne ("Jane.") etc. Thus it's not just Kevin, like Kevin the IT guy who annoys you. It's KevAn, like Kevan the pompous IT guy who changed his name after he read George RR Martin's books.

     

    Slight difference in tone. ;-)

    • Like 5

  9. Posted

    5ed87a8b7c.jpg

     

    And I fucking love Paul for fiercely and publicly declaring his support for a feminist satire website. And more than just support, he signal-boosted an article on sexual assault, which belongs to a series of articles on rape culture that Reductress has written in response to the controversy that has risen after UCB permanently banned improv comic Aaron Glaser amid multiple allegations of rape and sexual harrasement.

     

    5ee4bb3ef5.jpg

     

    Paul > Kurt Metzger.

    • Like 3

  13. Posted

    I really want to know what Jason's reason for picking this movie is. Curious.

     

    I don't really want to give money to the people who made it though. I like Nikolaj Coster-Waldau on GAME OF THRONES and his other TV roles. But every movie he is in is crap. I think maybe his agents don't realize in order for it to be sent to him, every American white guy has to have passed on it?

     

    I'm also sad about the cancellation of the Nightly Show. I thought Wilmore was off to a stronger start than Trevor Noah. (Though the eps worth watching were usually about Bill Cosby.) They kind of killed the premise by hiring Noah at all. The Nightly Show was supposed to be the only black guy in late night.

    • Like 1

  14. Posted

     

    Yeah but that's a common thing in the series. The first volume they basically kill an entire stadium of football fans in the Superdome who were infected with a techno-virus that turned them into cannibals, and then with one of Waller's side deals Deadshot kills a member of the team in order for the whole incident to be blamed on him, rather than the Squad or a virus that the world doesn't know exists.

     

    But they don't lean into it like they should! The whole time I kept wondering why Batman and Wonder Woman don't show up and fight Enchantress. There's a scene where they all realize the "things" used to be people and everyone is upset. Then it's not brought up again. It's never said, like, "Well we brought you guys do deal with this because you're murderers and you should be okay with it." (Plus it's never been established that Superman and Batman AREN'T murders because so many people die in "Man of Steel" and Batman is totes cool killing Superman in "BvS".) So the whole thing is just like... why?

     

    I'll admit that I don't know anything about Hollywood or screenplays, but six months seems like plenty of time to me? That's what, 150 pages or so? Aukerman & friends knocked out Rocky vs Rambo in a weekend, and that's at least twice as good as Suicide Squad.

     

    I admit I don't know how long writer/directors "usually" have to get a big budget movie like this written. But it felt short to me, considering he'd have to be thinking about how to film it as it went. I kept thinking about how Edgar Wright had been working on "Ant-man" since 2006 when he left the project in 2014. (I also think I remember Joss Whedon saying he had two years on "The Avengers" from start to finish and it didn't feel like it was enough. Ayer had less than that and he didn't have films leading up to establish the characters.)

     

    ETA: It sounds like I'm defending Ayer when I really didn't like the movie that well. But I do think WB is like a chicken with its head cut off right now. They don't know what they're doing.

    • Like 2

  17. Posted

    Again, it seemed like the best idea on the planet until that couple beat me to it, and they had a better right to the proposal based on the previous episode they were on. That being said, in terms of who gets divorced? it's GAME ON, New York couple!!

    COUPLES KUMITE!

     

    If you guys have a baby (totally up to you but I think you should), you can come to the show and give it to Jason.

     

    tumblr_inline_nkcd7g6OiH1rn9822.jpg

    • Like 5

  18. Posted

    I read David Ayer had just six months to do the script and when I read that I was like, "Oh I get it." Because it feels like a first draft. Like they didn't give him enough time and everything was hastily put together. Like I still think it is a good idea but it wasn't quite there. So maybe we can get good things out of the sequel?

     

    The only thing that actually offended me was the choice to make Enchantress a South American (not British) witch because that felt unnecessary, especially considering Cara whatshereyebrows was playing her.

    • Like 2

  19. Posted

    I know, I know. I know what you're all thinking: "I've conscripted (kidnapped?) this small, indigenous child to help me navigate the dense jungle of this remote fictional island to locate a hoard of magical pirate treasure, what do I care about his safety? I should absolutely allow him to drive this truck full of our supplies across this ravine." And while I agree that's a smart move--why risk your life when his is basically worthless--don't let your enthusiasm for child endangerment cloud your good judgement. If you're fearing that the weight of your truck will be too much for the rickety rope bridge you're trying to cross, maybe it's not the best idea to allow that child driven truck to go last. Y'know, lest your fears come to pass and the weight of the truck is too much for the bridge. I mean, who cares about the kid, but if that truck takes out that bridge, then you're going to be stranded on the wrong side of the ravine with no equipment!

     

    No. The correct way to navigate this situation is to send one of your men across first--preferably with a length of rope slightly longer than the width of the crevasse you're trying to cross. If the irascible jungle waif you've absconded with is one of the Rope People, all the better! While you sneak into their village in the middle of the night to steal him out of the arms of his crying mother, you can pick up some rope at that time. It's called, "killing two birds with one stone." Next, you send the kid across. If the truck goes plummets to the bottom of the gorge and explodes into a fiery conflagration of twisted shrapnel and child limbs, so what? Yes, you lose all your equipment, but you will be on the right side of the ravine to make your way safely back to your boat, re-equip yourselves, and try again. Sure, it may take some effort to rescue your compatriot stranded on the other side, but with that length of genuine Rope People Ropeâ„¢ you remembered to bring, you can easily have him traverse over the smoldering wreckage and back to safety. And best of all, nobody gets hurt!

    Cameron H. here to advise you in your child kidnapping schemes. Always.

     

    I had a lot of questions about that kid. Like where did they get him? Where does he live? He doesn't look like one of the rope people. So did they... like bring him from afar? And let's not forget the part where James Remar straight up tries to elbow the kid in the face. This kid as been abducted and abused. The Phantom "rescues" him (after traumatizing him some more) and then is just like, "Bye!" YOU SHOULD TAKE THAT KID HOME.

     

    Let's say he does know how to get home. The rope bridge is OUT. So he has to go around, right? I think that kid is wandering in the jungle for at least three days.

     

    I also have a lot of questions about the one random butler servant the Phantom has. I was obsessed with the fact that he wore a turban when no one else in the movie wore a turban. (And I would think that would be hot? In the jungle?) Where'd he find this guy? Does the Phantom put out job listings when he needs a new butler? Does he have ads on cragislist?

    • Like 4

  22. Posted

    Billy Zane, however, I found completely charmless. He's beefy and good looking, but his face is locked in a smarmy smirk that doesn't suit a hero. It worked really well for him as the asshole fiancee in Titanic, but he comes off as kind of a dick here. Maybe this portrayal is left over from the 1940s Phantom; it seems like The Shadow had a similar jerk vibe.

    Wikipedia says James Cameron saw this movie and decided to cast Billy Zane in "Titanic." I remembered being sort of baffled and was like, "James Cameron thought he was GOOD?" But the way you put it makes more sense. James Cameron was probably like, "Oooh. I found my smirky asshole."

     

    I just started thinking about what Hogwarts houses Jason, June, and Paul would be in. I think Paul is a Hufflepuff, Jason is either Ravenclaw or Slytherin, and I feel Slytherin vibes from June too. Or Gryffindor maybe... Nah Slytherin. Oh hey The Phantom showed up! Anyway I'm sticking with Slytherin for June."

    I think June is a Hufflepuff too! Just something about the way she cares for animals. Also then we can write weird real people fanfic about Paul and June meeting in the Hufflepuff common room, damnit Taylor Anne. Don't ruin my RPF!

    • Like 4

  24. Posted

    Confirmed: A horse galloping at tippy-top speed can match the speed of a 1930's biplane running just above it's stall speed- which sucks because I spent a half hour looking up numbers like a fucking nerd and confirming them only to find out that it's plausible. Also, I suck at this.

    That horse outran planes, cars, motorcycles. That horse needs a raise. Whatever he's paying it, it should be more.

    • Like 2

  25. Posted

    Okay here is my theory about why this movie doesn't work.

     

    There is the opening--which Paul says should've been in black and white--and you THINK that little kid is Billy Zane. (Or why the fuck else did you have to watch it?) Then the dad shows up in his crazy-visions. And that is not the guy who was in the opening. Plus he's *old*. So now the audience is confused. And it is a GREAT idea to just confuse your audience for large portions of the movie. I think they wanted us to think Billy Zane is 400 years old.

     

    In the beginning, Quill (aka Maxie Devine) says he killed the Phantom. I just thought he stabbed Billy Zane but Billy Zane was fine because he has that weird assistant who he forces to wear a turban for no reason. But it is later revealed that Quill killed Zane's father, the old guy.

     

    The end Billy Zane puts the belt on the grave and is like "now you can be at rest" or whatever. But throughout the movie he NEVER focuses on Quill. He doesn't even fucking blink when that guy shows up at his jungle cave. If we wanted to have an emotional arc or like--let's go crazy--a story the audience might get invested in then Quill should've been the main bad guy (or Treat Williams should've been the one who killed the dad). And it should all be about avenging his father. Instead of just throwing that shit in at the last minute.

     

    I think the writer was so caught up in having it be a ~REVEAL~ that the kid in the beginning was not Billy Zane, it was his ancestor, that s/he didn't realize that actively works against the film. Because if we had known that is the Phantom legacy but didn't know exactly how Billy Zane's father died, we would've been looking for those cues.

     

    Instead we just have no idea why this guy is dressed in a big purple condom and runs around the jungle. With a wolf. A WOLF WHO DOES NOT BELONG IN THE JUNGLE. I felt really bad for that wolf. I wanted to know June's theory on that monkeyshines of it all.

    • Like 6
×