alargebucket

"I got two dads, so call me Jesus. I like dying for sins. And Reese's Pieces."

Not for Turkeys, though. The nightmare month we all went through is just starting for those suckers.

BOO!

brgrholidayname

Actually, I'm allergic to the candy coating. I just like the colors... Sometimes, I'll spend a couple cycles just looking at the gumball machine and imagine I'm playing a spherical version of Bejeweled. It's hard to remember where the colors are supposed to be after a couple moves, though, so I start over a lot. Once, I tried shaking it a bit to see if I could make it work like a Rubix cube, but I accidentally dropped it and the fish bowl part shattered and all the M&M's went everywhere. The daughter of the owner, Pamplona, works the overnights and she was really pissed I couldn't help her pick up the M&M's because of my allergies.

At this point, I'm just rotating evenings between these three 24 hour laundromats. I figure as long as I'm running a load or two, the launderers have no legal basis to "evict" me. It's a $1.50 a load and that takes about an hour, so 10 hours of shelter is costing me $15 give or take a dryer cycle. Plus now my clothes are always clean and there's a gumball machine filled with M&M's right by my bed. We all have to make sacrifices, but I believe in H&S and I believe in the Pro Version.

That's me playing it cool for now, but I'm considering serious legal action. Do these Earworm goons really think I don't have access to a gavel and gown? C'mon. During All Hallow's Week? Bout to bring the real RAMHAND down on iamkulap's ex-boyfriend whom she married. SEE YOU IN MORALITY COURT, SCOTT

Finance.

Rhodes scholars? Where we're going, we don't need Rhodes scholars. We're going to technical school, Marty. We're gonna be plumbers.

I may or may not have just met Hayes and Sean at a formal business gathering.

Check and check. Liked. But, real talk, there is a tangible and genuine Post Quality differential between this forum and the others. Some of that is the jokes for sure--such wow jokes, but I get the sense--having not been here very long--it's moreso that this show seems to attract people with, like, a DEEP LOVE OF HUMANITY. That is not sarcastic. This is like the Parks and Recreation of Earwolf to everyone else's UK The Office. This is just a show about people who love each other. The other places are a little more clinical, distant... No drama here. TNT. We No Drama.

Bitsy-Boo needs her own show. STAT. I could listen to that sultry voice for hours. My god.

I've listened to the part where Hayes drops the Popcorn Gallery theme song and starts screaming about quiz questions about a dozen times. Can't stop loffing. Would love to know how much of a description of the show they gave Iliza beforehand, if any. I don't think she was particularly antagonistic, but it's kinda hard to tell whether she was putting on a little bit or genuinely bewildered by the boys. Either way, it's a great yin-yang companion to the Pete Holmes episode.

Oy! Is it Chanukkah already!? Man! Can't tell you guys how honored I am to be the first sticky question out of the Cracker Jack Gallery Bag and a brand new member of the Pro Version Payment Plan... I was worried my credit wasn't Kosher there for a minute, so l'chaim indeed! It's a shame Shlessy and I had to get off the wrong foot like that, though. I sure felt like a schmuck until she mumbled for me to go and frig my little butt off! The chutzpah on this yente, am I right? What's the deal! Honestly, purported anti-Semitism aside--and I really don't think I'm in a place to speak one way or the other on that so publicly, her reaction to my question makes me worried she's not tapping into her full potential in the industry. She should really be on Jerry's radar, you guys! And he should definitely be getting some of that sweet, sweet doseph of hers. You know he's got the patent on those J.C.'s. P.S.: Hey, tissue box... I promise I'll never forget what you're made of. Promise.

For both sirs: Why do your International Movie Database profiles not include the wide variety of consultant, punch-up, production and directorial work that has defined your careers? Do you guys not have IMDb Pro accounts? Sean, how have you had such wild success in Hollywood without the requisite Harvard education and charmed upbringing that Hayes has relied upon? Are you a member of the Illuminati?

If you want people to understand how you see the world, wear mirrored sunglasses.

Too many carrot eaters out here. Y'all disrespectin' my avatar. I don't have to tell you I'm all about the burgers.

Mama always told me, "Don't put all your eggs in a gift horse's mouth or you'll have fewer hatched chickens than you originally counted."

Whoa, Rod, beautiful indeed! I am from San Diegy originally. Came out to your neck of the woods--Boston, specifically--for school a couple years back. No disrespect to the Big Easty, but you're making the right move. Finest city on earth! Sandiest eggos around! Reach out if you need any logistical advice or hip places to get your hip on.

Yes... That's what I'm saying! Make it a segment on the Book! Hollywoods IS reality, you know. A little off-brand taste of their U.S. patents pending askew reality show view couldn't hurt... What I wouldn't give for a little Dating Naked talk. From two guys who are blessed with a certain "desirable" male attribute, you know, ...physically the way Sean and Hayes are? Forget it! They're the real experts here. They know what it's like to have to just lay it all out there. They know what it is to be treated like piece of dang meat in front of the viewing publics and all their mothers and grandmothers.

First off, let me just say that I was FURIOUS there were no actual furries in this movie. Not even a pelt to be seen just once! And Mr. Shia's moustache doesn't count, okay!? Could've been drawn on with a pencil! Such a Hollywood move. Tryna get butts in seats like that. My butt just about fell off when the credits rolled and I saw that title again! Argh! But, anyway, you came to the same conclusion I did. As soon as the tank started spitting those huge loogies out of its anteater nose toward those people Bradley Pitts, Percy Jackson and Even Steven were so mad at, I was convinced. Clearly sentient. Like a good dog.

Folks, I don't mean to alarm you, but I have a disturbing update. In heeding Mr. Junk's prudent warning as I made my errands this evening, I happened upon a most dreadful discovery: the Frankensteins, Draculars, Mummies, Skellingtons and aforementioned assortments of spooky ghosts and ghouls have gained even further ground in their plot to rule October. I can now confirm that they have set up permanent military offensive outposts in all greater metropolitan CVS, WALGREENS, DUANE READE, K-MART, MICHAEL'S, TARGET, POTTERY BARN and RITE AID outlets. I repeat, all nationwide pharmaceutical, convenience and home decor chains have been overtaken by these vicious and terrible creatures! The employees do not appear alarmed and may even attempt to use calming words or restraining action as you rid their storehouse of these evil demons with a canister of hairspray and a common propane lighter, but I assure you THEY TOO ARE IN ON THIS NEW APOCALYPSE! DO NOT VISIT THESE PLACES LEST YOU WISH TO LOSE LIFE OR LIMB. Other than a nest of humongous spiders in the window of my local Walgreens, there are usually no external signs of these stores' inundation. It is only after entering that you are thrust upon by these barbaric, monstrous works of Satan. And though the 7-11's may appear safe, I assure you they are the spookiest of all. I saw them peddle shriveled human digits and frozen blood ice for a gruesome combination deal of $6.66. They even offer blood paste, fecal matter and boil puss as a series of sinister complimentary condiments. CLICK BELOW TO SEE THIS GHASTLY OFFERING IF YOU DARE!

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!! Regna terrae, cantata Deo, psallite Cernunnos, Regna terrae, cantata Dea psallite Aradia. caeli Deus, Deus terrae, Humiliter majestati gloriae tuae supplicamus Ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate, Laqueo, and deceptione nequitia, Omnis fallaciae, libera nos, dominates. Exorcizamus you omnis immundus spiritus Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio, Infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, Omnis and congregatio secta diabolica. Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, dominates, Ut coven tuam secura tibi libertate servire facias, Te rogamus, audi nos! Ut inimicos sanctae circulae humiliare digneris, Te rogamus, audi nos! Terribilis Deus Sanctuario suo, Cernunnos ipse truderit virtutem plebi Suae, Aradia ipse fortitudinem plebi Suae. Benedictus Deus, Gloria Patri, Benedictus Dea, Matri gloria!

Listen, popo, and don't poo-poo this new truth: The dodo doesn't do doo-doo for dough, you know. He maybe coocoo for cocoa, but lo and behold he doesn't wear Lululemon like Lolo. And, look, your yo-yo and Yoohoo youth won't boohoo over a booboo like you know who. So, take the woowoo sounds and the foo fighting crew back to SoHo and sue who, Sue Hoot? Peace.