Hemlock Grove

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I've just figured it out.

 

This series is what would happen if Tommy Wiseau tried to copy True Blood.

 

It all makes sense now.

Still not enough Rooftop Tuxedo Football for that to be accurate

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

Well, I'm assuming he would "improve" the same way Uwe Bolle did over time.

 

But it's like an alien did it because it'll just randomly cut or open on scenes where any human would know how the scene should have been edited.

 

Example: one episode opening wants to go with a mysterious whammy. A woman wanders through an abandoned factory, notices some vandalism, is annoyed, then coughs up some weird bloody chunks. A human would know that you end the scene on the chunks, but the alien thinks it would be more suspenseful if she makes a phone call to the police to report the vandalism and end on that. Huh?

 

So many episode openings play out like that. They all just suddenly end on some mundane note, either long after the whammy or without any whammy at all.