Black Knight

[MattMcLellan 0]

Yes the one with Martin Lawrence. Come on people you have to agree with me on this. this is one of the most ridiculous goddamn things Ive ever seen in my life. I mean on paper this must look like the ramblings of an absolute lunatic. But guess what, if you're going to laughs per minute, pound for pound this may be the greatest fucking movie ever made. Some free association.....

Skintight jersey with a chain.

Martin Lawrence morning grooming montage

Big Midego titties

Absolutely racist

Completely sexist

Martin Lawrence fake fuck noises

Time travel

Black man jousting

Way too many black people in this movie for no reason

Thats off the top of my head. Havent seen it in years

 

 

 

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Yes the one with Martin Lawrence. Come on people you have to agree with me on this. this is one of the most ridiculous goddamn things Ive ever seen in my life. I mean on paper this must look like the ramblings of an absolute lunatic. But guess what, if you're going to laughs per minute, pound for pound this may be the greatest fucking movie ever made. Some free association.....

Skintight jersey with a chain.

Martin Lawrence morning grooming montage

Big Midego titties

Absolutely racist

Completely sexist

Martin Lawrence fake fuck noises

Time travel

Black man jousting

Way too many black people in this movie for no reason

Thats off the top of my head. Havent seen it in years

You forgot "Martin Lawrence explaining what just happened for the vision impaired". I don't remember much from this at all, but I specifically remember a scene where a guy falls or gets knocked down or something, like right into a big ol' pile of shit, and Lawrence exclaims "Awwww man, you just fell in SHIT!". You see, when he does that, it's funny TWICE! Right? No? Anyway...

 

This reminds me of a perfect bad movie idea I've had in my mind for a LONG time that either Martin Lawrence or Ice Cube would have done. It's about a black hockey player that gets suspended or injured or something, and he wants to get back in the game, but he's damaged goods, he needs to get back in shape, so he does the only REASONABLE thing he can to get himself in shape for a comeback, and that is...becoming a figure skater. Hilarity (and about a thousand "jokes" about black people not liking the cold or not skating) will ensue. The title: "Black Ice".

[stickfigurehero 9]

I did stunts for this steaming pile. Every day on set with Tom Wilkinson I wondered who he owed the massive favor to in order to agree to do this. He's an amazing dude and never shit taked the film to me, but you could see on his face while waiting for setups that he was dying inside.

 

Also fuuuuuuuuck Martin. I have a bunch of stories about what a massive d-bag that guy is, starting with him delaying production for at least a month in order to create a mini basketball court in the back lot near his trailer compound.

 

To date it's the biggest film I've done however I will often deny that I had anything to do with it and actively discourage people from watching it. Please rip this movie apart for me and anyone else still forced to include it on their resume.

 

Fml

[Johnny Unusual 525]

Yeah, I remember someone telling a pretty awful story about him doing stand up on Comedy Bang Bang. He basically sounds like the worst. If they do this movie, you should send a message to Paul and see if you can get a spot on the show for a short interview.

 

Oh, and here's the trailer.

 

 

Wow. That looks like it was made 9 years prior and was awful then too.

[stickfigurehero 9]

On the long shot that they do this I would be glad to offer up stories and info I have. In addition to being totally unprofessional and NOT AN ACTOR, Martin is 100% full of shit. In every post production interview I saw he went on and on about how much fun he had with the cast and crew, always joking around etc.

 

Total bullshit.

 

I don't even think he considered the extras to be people. Myself and the stunt team would only be acknowledged to be reminded that his safety was of the utmost importance. It seemed like the cast only spoke to him if it was scripted.

 

He was just a walking mix tape of humanity's shittiest attributes.

 

I forgot to add that the character "Dennis" was played by a good friend of mine. If HDTGM does decide to do thisthis fuckstory of a movie I'm sure he could also provide some amusing facts.

[Snake 165]

 

starting with him delaying production for at least a month in order to create a mini basketball court in the back lot near his trailer compound.

 

 

I'm actually on his side for this one

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

In every post production interview I saw he went on and on about how much fun he had with the cast and crew, always joking around etc.

To be fair though, that's what everyone in the history in the forever has done while promoting their current project, so that part's not the least bit unusual, but I totally believe the stories of him really being a total d-bag on set. I've been an extra, driver, body double, and production assistant on a bunch of movies and a couple of TV things and have been fortunate enough to be on some pretty good sets and haven't had any outright BAD experiences yet. I've usually only worked maybe a couple of days at a time though, or maybe sporadically over the course of a project (read about my "Abduction" experience on that episode's thread!), but I HAVE heard of some pretty terrible stuff from people I trust.

[stickfigurehero 9]

To be fair though, that's what everyone in the history in the forever has done while promoting their current project.

 

Agreed. That was just a small example off which I have many more. I think it just struck me harder because he was such the opposite. I'm sure everyone says shit like that in interviews but I assume most people are at least quasi decent, making it just an exaggeration instead of a total fabrication.

 

Martin aside though it wasn't a bad experience. Just about everyone else was great and worked really hard. Like I said before, Tom Wilkinson was amazing. He was constantly involved and on set. If he had a stand in I don't ever remember seeing him. I remember them shooting fight scenes with Tom where you didn't even see his face in the playback. He was just always on set being a super chill guy. I was a fan of his before but after working with him I will support him in anything he does. 100% professional.

 

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

If they ever cover a Martin Lawerence garbage movie, I hope they start with this one rather than the obvious Big Mommas House.

 

This movie is fucking terrible.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Also Tom Wilkinson is awesome in this movie, you can clearly see the looks on his face in some scenes where you can tell the inner monologue in his head is asking how he got himself in this situation but he just commits 100%. It almost makes you want to look past the scenes where Martin Lawerence literally just stands there making weird faces while looking directly into camera.

[lwesleysnipes 3]

even though we don't even live in the same state anymore, my friend and i still text each other whenever we notice this masterpiece can be viewed on cable.