The Challenge: Rivals II

[chanson 9697]

So, now that Real World Portland is over and the Reality SHOW show is on hiatus our lives are empty black holes of nothingness punctuated by brief periods of deep, agonizing despair. What is the meaning of life now that it's so obvious that everything we love will atrophy and decay into an unforgiving oblivion of nothingness and everyone we love will die or leave us at some point?

 

Well, there's no need to answer that question right now - the answers you'd come up with would have been unsatisfying and depressing anyway - because the benevolent overlords of entertainment over at MTV have decided to so generously bless us with another season of The Challenge premiering on July 10th. That's right, you can put down the gun and continue living life vicariously through the lives of everyone's favorite bunch of megalomaniacal, narcissistic sociopaths (and TJ Lavin). It looks like it'll be a good'n.

 

I for one, am stoked.

[BroccoliRob 78]

I'm saving my thoughts on the first episode until I hear what Sean and Hayes have to say (the Reality SHOE shoe is coming back!), but it was pretty awesome.

[Hunter 96]

I loved that powerful speech that Jessica gave to that weird bird lady who tried to kill CT. You could tell it was a great speech because they kept the camera on Anastasia's face the entire time, to really show the emotional impact it was giving. Certainly not because it was done entirely in ADR or anything like that. REALLY inspirational stuff.

[chanson 9697]

After the end of RW:PDX I was worried that if this season of The Challenge sucked I might be forced to actually begin living a full healthy life where I go out and do things with real people and form relationships and have a career and actually progress in life. That idea disgusts me, so it's a good thing that the first two episodes of The Challenge: Rivals II have shown me that this season will deliver in every way a Challenge season should.

 

First of all, I don't understand how Anastasia and Jessica are considered rivals... I know they didn't always get along in the Real World Portland house but I wouldn't call them rivals. Also Jordan and Marlon don't really foot the bill either. Although, it's not like back in Rivals I where Leroy got to pal around with Mike the whole time because Adam got kicked off on the first day. Not that that was a bad thing, Mike pretty much made that season... along with Kenny carrying Wes up the hill.

 

I'm also pretty bummed that Evan, Evelyn, Kenny, Laurel, and Dustin aren't in this one, they always make things more interesting but I got the feeling last season that MTV was starting to get rid of a lot of the vets. The problem with that is that besides Frank and Dustin and a couple of others, the rookies are all boring as shit. The one thing they did bring back which I'm so so sick of by now is the CT/Diem storyline, which is obviously going to dominate this season. That said, I do love the fact that Knight's still determined to win back Jemmye.

 

Observations thus far:

 

Wes is still patronizing and condescending in his interviews. Like he's explaining everything that's going on to fourth graders.

 

Cara Maria sucks. I don't know why, I just don't like her. Apparently she's supposed to be a good competitor, which I'm not convinced of at all, even though everyone wants to eliminate her for that reason...

 

Jemmye talks about wanting to kill Camilla. Then she talks about wishing she could suffocate her... Very much looking forward to seeing what happens with that team considering Camilla is a crazy person. Not to mention her feisty latin temper. Am I allowed to say that?

 

Anastasia is surprised that CT would hang out with Diem when her and CT have been hooking up. She then goes on to say that she didn't know there was a thing between CT and Diem. What planet have you been on? It's only been a thing for the last five years...

 

Cooke needs to learn bladder control.

 

Other than a minor scuffle with CT, Frank seems to be keeping an extremely low profile. I do sincerely hope that begins to change.

 

In summary, pretty great.

[chanson 9697]

Episode 3: The Dark Knight Rises

 

What did we learn this week?

 

-Trishelle (aka Trashelle) looks like Paul Scheer wearing a wig.

-Favorite Trishelle quote: "we shouldn't even have to buy our own drinks here."

-Sarah has shit luck with partners.

-Knight makes offensive jokes that are funny but no one is allowed to acknowledge that.

-Marlon hooked up with Derek... and Nany.

-Where the hell is Frank?

[BroccoliRob 78]

So.....Zach, that was pretty nuts. First he's sad about missing the birth of his nephew (Niece? Nephew? I can't remember). That's fine and understandable. Then he starts complaining about how his tum-tum hurts. Which is also fine, but he needs to understand how silly it looks when this mountain of a man complains about having too many num-nums in his tum-tum. Then he starts hulking out (from now on to be referred as "Zaching out") at the camera person because maybe he realized he didn't want his super shitty behavior caught on film for everyone to see.

But the craziest thing was at the end of the Jungle, when he celebrated his victory by chucking his helmet at Jordan's head. Wow. I feel like if they hadn't disqualified him for fucking up the game, they would have hopefully kicked him off just for that.

 

It's too bad really. I really enjoyed Zach last season as Frank's Second-in-Command. But with Frank determined to keep a low profile this season, Zach was left to his own devices which clearly did not work out for him.

[chanson 9697]

...I get the feeling that there was more to this than we were being told but I don't have any theories about what might have been the issue. Either that or it just fit the producers' storyline and they cobbled together a couple different incidents.