Escape Plan (2013)

[RebeccaMis 22]

Old Sly and Arnold, together in one movie? Tell me this can't be terrible!

[Andrew 4646]

Having seen this in theatres today, I can strongly recommend this film.

 

Basic concept is Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger team up to break out of prison.

 

Every plot point results in a "wait, what? WHY?!"

 

50 Cent plays a "techno-thug".

 

Arnold pulls a mounted gun from a helicopter and fires it in slow-motion.

 

Sly jerry-rigs a SEXTANT.

 

This is the quintessential HDTGM? movie.

[RyanSz 3140]

This movie was okay, but it's not as crazy as recent Stallone movies. Unfortunately, in a movie like this which has more of a plot than all out action, Sly and Arnold are not the best guys to be giving the audience the plot/story in dialogue. I did like that the Islamic gang leader in the prison wasn't the usual stereotype as with most characters in Stallone movies, and he was actually a likeable character and held his own with the top stars, and Jim Caviezel was pretty good as the menacing warden. I felt it was tricky marketing for this movie as the trailers showed this as an all out action movie starring two of the biggest action stars ever, but the real movie was more of a slower pace with bits of action scattered throughout.

[DavidKunkel 0]

Now that Escape Plan is out on DVD, PLEASE PLEASE do it! Everything from 50 Cent looking like a deer in the headlights to Stallone being the smartest, coolest man in the room in every dang scene, to the bonkers twists and turns. It's brilliant

[RyanSz 3140]

This could have been an pretty decent movie if they went two other directions with it, one in where it is a full on action movie like was portrayed in the trailers, or where its the same film with two more straightforward actors in the lead roles. I liked the whole breakdown of how one escapes from captivity and the way that a person can channel their focus into freeing themselves by means no one thought of, but Stallone was not the guy to be that character.

 

Arnold at least looked like he was having fun in the movie, though he seems to be doing that more now out of office and into playing characters more focused on their age and their later years in life. Plus he has really started to show his comedic side in things from the Bud Light Super Bowl ad to where he dressed up in possibly the worst disguise ever to play a Gold's Gym trainer. Stallone is still stuck in the mindset that he's the tough guy actor in the 80s, when that is clearly not the case. Jim Caviezel did really good as the warden, I just wished there was more of him in the movie.

 

As for who was responsible for putting Sly in the prison, they couldn't have telegraphed it more clearly if they had Stallone hold up a sign with the guy's name on it for five minutes. It would have been more shocking if it was 50 Cent who was trying to show he had the skills to run the company and do what Stallone does.

[JamesBundtrock 3]

Just finished this and thought I would throw my vote in for this as well. Such a flawed concept packed in with Sly, Arnold and Bullet Tooth Tony!

 

Flawed concept being the super secret prison designed for guys who need to be "disappeared". Yeah, let us spend billions housing and feeding these super criminals, not like they could just kill them and save the money.

[BrendanPeters 12]

I agree- this is a giant star-studded turd. Well - worth skewering. So much bad acting (Jim Caviezel most notable), so many plot holes. PLEASE give this film the HDTGM treatment it deserves!!

[mrbs 15]

I was just traveling overseas, and came across this when I was flipping through the channels. At first, it seemed like a terrible 80s movie. Then, I saw a bunch of big name actors were involved… and they were all about as old as they are now. BUT, the movie was so bad I was convinced that it must have been some movie knockoff, like Japanese commercials, where celebs get paid a ton to look a bit silly, knowing it will never make it to the American audience.

 

But no, this is a legitimately bonkers movie. These people are not in on the joke, like Sharknado. This isn't some indie production or low budget film; this is a star-studded affair: Arnold, Sly, Vinnie Jones, Sam Neill, 50 cent, Jim Caviezel. And, from what I saw… none of it makes any sense. It's like if you gave a 10 year old a spec script of prison break and a bump of cocaine and just dictated his re-telling… but then had Sly and Arnie punch it up to make both their characters genius macguyver psychologist ninjas.

 

This is already the perfect HDTGM movie… but there's more. According to IMDB, they're making a sequel in 2018.

 

Paul, June, Jason: Please get on this!