Tusk (2014)

[burjz 57]

the new kevin smith heap of garbage that stars michael parks as an olde salty serial killer who turns fucking horrible human, waste of life, podcaster, and kevin smith surrogate justin long into a human skin walrus.

 

and it's about 95% monologues, no action, lots of poop jokes, too (two) many scenes of justin long peeing, and a cringeworthy performance from johnny depp, who looks like he got free reign of the costume department one day and was just like, "make me look, like, so wacky!"

 

the tone made absolutely no sense and it's unbelievable and i hated it so much.

 

please release me from obsessing over its awfulness by talking about it please please please

[denimgremlin 1179]

 

please release me from obsessing over its awfulness by talking about it please please please

 

hahaha i've felt the exact same thing many times after watching some shit movie

 

 

I haven't seen Tusk yet, I'm sure you're right about it's terribleness, but I'm still curious to see it. i have a masochistic relationship with Kevin Smith's movies. (or "flicks" as he calls them, which make me want to choke him every time i hear it come out of his fat face)

[burjz 57]

I haven't seen Tusk yet, I'm sure you're right about it's terribleness, but I'm still curious to see it. i have a masochistic relationship with Kevin Smith's movies. (or "flicks" as he calls them, which make me want to choke him every time i hear it come out of his fat face)

 

it's weird because the beginning of it was pretty interesting at first, solely because of michael parks' clear dedication to his role, but contrasted with justin long being a despicable person, and then add johnny depp for some reason, you've got a really bizarre band frustrating lack of cohesive tone. like i'm sure it's intended to be more of a comedy, and i laughed (more at it than with it,) but it just so up its own butt that it's a mess, much like kevin smith irl

 

anyways you probably should see it because i feel like i'm not doing its awfulness justice and also i apologize in advance

[seanotron 2307]

This just seemed like it was going to be a joke-y version of The Human Centipede, which sounds like something no one needed ever.

[justinmh05 1968]

This is what Johnny Depp is doing now.

[hypnotizingchickens 1025]

guest: Kevin Smith

 

instead of talking about the film, they discuss his personal life and how something in a completely different script from a completely different director sort of resembled something in the movie that they should be talking about (see Wild Wild West)

[denimgremlin 1179]

guest: Kevin Smith

 

instead of talking about the film, they discuss his personal life and how something in a completely different script from a completely different director sort of resembled something in the movie that they should be talking about (see Wild Wild West)

 

it's funny i was just going to respond about how horrible his appearance was on the X Files Files but

justinmh05 beat me to it on another thread.

[RyanSz 3140]

I didn't think it was too bad, but far from his best or worst, just kinda eh. I thought Justin Long and Michael Parks worked off each other well. Unfortunately the Walrus looked ridiculous, which I wasn't surprised since I'm sure this was shot on a shoestring budget, but I felt it may have been better left to the imagination of the viewer than to show it completely.

[hypnotizingchickens 1025]

it's funny i was just going to respond about how horrible his appearance was on the X Files Files but

justinmh05 beat me to it on another thread.

 

followed by me vaguely defending him and then coming straight to this thread to get my jab in... but anytime there's a hatred bandwagon, I'm kind of hesitant to just jump on. I've similarly defended M. Night (aka Boo Fuck You) on the same pretense... I believe it's possible for someone to have decent intentions but not able to execute it without alienating a large group of people. from what I can tell Kevin Smith doesn't concern himself with being likable and never has, but that shouldn't strictly mean he isn't able to create something of worth... occasionally.

[Kickpuncher 5012]

from what I can tell Kevin Smith doesn't concern himself with being likable and never has

 

Interesting. I think he thinks he's super likeable, otherwise he might be content with being "just" a filmmaker rather than a "personality".

[IRONicmerMAN 391]

This seems like a solid choice. I just became familiar with the film, and, oh boy. They had Smith on as a guest before, so why not bring him in for this one?

[RyanSz 3140]

If anything, the next movie in this trilogy should be considered as the trailers for Yoga Hosers looks like Smith finally discovered what it's like to direct a movie high on acid.

[NathanGordon 1096]

I haven't liked anything Kevin Smith's done since... Mallrats, I think. And I don't like his weird neckbeard persona -- but I have to admire him for creating a mini media empire out of his passions. It's pretty impressive that he took a half-assed twitter joke and turned it into a legit film. That said, Tusk is garbage and should have stayed a joke. It's on the level of some of the less watchable Troma movies. I feel like it never decided if it was full camp or not; only Michael Parks seemed to know what to bring to his role.