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TimSampson

Trading Mom (1994)

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I've never heard of this movie before, but it's one my girlfriend apparently watched as a child. (In her exact words, "I wasn't even sure if this movie was real or a bad dream.") Anyway, she just stumbled across it on Netflix and is presently subjecting me to it. We're about 15 minutes in but I immediately felt compelled to create an Earwolf message board account so I could recommend this movie. It's not just terrible, it's HDTGM terrible. It's about three horrible children who hate their strict mom (played by Sissy Spacek). They meet an old woman in a garden who tells them how they can wish their mother out of existence. So they proceed to wish their mom away. Then they return to the old woman who tells them about a magical market place where they can buy a new mom. The "Mommy Market" is like Diagon Alley from Harry Potter, meets a early 90s Sunny-D commercial, meets the slave auction scene from 12 Years A Slave. The kids are allowed to buy up to three moms. If they don't find a mom they like after three tries, they'll apparently never have a mom again. As I write this, they're test driving their first mom, who - get this - is played by Sissy Spacek. Only she's a fancy French aristocrat or some shit. Somehow this movie is from 1994 but looks like it was made in 1973. I'm a long-time listener of HDTGM, but this is the first time I've come across a movie so bad I felt compelled to instantly nominate it.

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I recall watching this as a kid. I think it's like Sissy Spacek plays their first mom, their three replacement moms, and the gardener. Also, I hope you're sitting down when I tell you that the kids learn to appreciate their real mom and don't end up replacing her. I know, I just had to give away the surprise ending.

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This was one of the few non-My Girl movies that Anna Chlumsky starred in along with Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain, where after those films underwhelmed moviegoers, took time off to focus on her education, before coming back all of a sudden with her role on Veep.

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​Plot:

The Martin kids learn of a magic spell that will take them to the 'mommy market' so they can get a more user friendly model. After giving a few other moms a try, they want their own back. But that is not so easy.

 

Trailer:

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Elizabeth, Jeremy, and Harry Martin have had it with their workaholic, nagging mother and they get in trouble at school with bullies and almost smoking cigarettes. They go to this mysterious gardener named Mrs. Cavour and she tells the siblings about an ancient spell to make their mother disappear. That night they say the incantation and the next morning, they wake up and they find their mother is gone and they can't remember anything about her. Mrs. Cavour tells the children about the Mommy Market, a place in town where they had about every mother you could think of. When they go there, the Mommy Market had a policy where you could have 3 tokens to take a mother home. If they could not find a suitable mother by their third token, they could never go back. The mothers they pick are not what they hoped for and they feel lost without someone to look after them. They wanted their very own mother to love and they must think of a memory of their own to remember her and break the spell.

 

http://www.imdb.com/...ref_=ttpl_pl_tt

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