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Blast Hardcheese

Tracers (2014)

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So, just when you thought Punisher: War Zone put the final rocket-launched rocket in the coffin that was Hollywood's obsession with parkour, along comes the Tyler Lautner vehicle, Tracers.

 

So, are studios just making movies in order to be fodder for HDTGM?

 

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Hot fucking garbage, this one.

 

- from the start, parkour.

- How the fuck does he know she got him the bike?

- The truck arm he climbs is about 3 feet wide. Bike messengers are fucking crazy. The fact that he is nervous is just terrible writing and makes the character lose credibility.

- How'd he get a third bike so easily? Wasn't there a huge deal made of the fact that he couldn't get a new bike after his first one is "totaled?"

- YOU OWE $15,000 why are you practicing parkour?! Make money you fucking idiot!!

- During his "test", they keep asking him "what's in the bag". Wouldn't they just take the bag?

- Disgusting mouth noises. Jason, ye be warned.

- Do cops keep loaded shotguns in the front seat?

- Can somebody explain exactly how Cam's trap works?

- The Chinese Mob fixed up his car for him?....God this movie is fucking terrible.

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