Episode 74 — Kumail Nanjiani, Our Close Friend

[kittens 1288]

i was at that very gig and i wish there was some way to prove that

[JMonsterface 1974]

it was hot sloppy cheesy and italian but get this - it wasn't pizza, get this - it was pasta, get this - i loved it

 

i didn't have any pizzas today but you can't have any pizzas every day can you

 

sorry if today's reviews seem a little lacklustre, none of my meals have really excited me as much as last night's did. i thought i could branch out into talking about all kinds of food but i was kidding myself i'm a pizza guy through and through

thanks for listening

Don't give up buddy! I wanna hear about all the food things! May I suggest sampling a nice Stromboli?

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

i was at that very gig and i wish there was some way to prove that

 

Describe the opener. It was... memorable.

[kittens 1288]

i don't remember it

she was supported by some people who i thought were bad and she was dancing like a robot and at the end of the whole thing she got on someone's shoulders and we all went totally crazy

 

there was some white steps on stage and at one point she did a song all on her own i was there this is incredible

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

The shoulder thing proves it. Sweet! I was on the floor, maybe 10-15 feet back, stage left. The guy with the big hair who was up front and was fist-pumping like crazy was pretty close to me.

[kittens 1288]

i was also in that general area

 

we almost definitely looked at each other

 

after a disappointing day i am finally excited, thank you

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

OHMYGOD Have any of you guys ever had "sex".

 

I was out with some friends last night and this girl came up to me and she was like "WOW. You're cool. Do you want to dance?"

 

And then I was like "OK. I've never done it before but it sounds easy enough. Backstreet Boys can do it and one of them had really heavy eyebrows"

 

Then after a while she was like "Hey. Do you want to come back to my place?"

 

And I was like "Sure. That sounds great!" Cause I thought she might have a PS4 or Xbox and I really want to play them cause the screen on my neo geo was smashed by my brother Jefferiah. UGH I hate him so much.

 

So we got back to her place and she was like "Let's have sex!"

 

And I was like "OK. I've never done it before but it sounds easy enough."

 

And then I won't go into much detail but we did it. We had sex.

 

And like 3 minutes later it was over but it was really cool. Then she gave me a cigarette but I told her I only vape to sound cool.

 

Then I left and I couldn't decide between an uber or a lyft so I walked home and I just got in the door now.

 

Anyway you guys should definitely try it!! I kind of tweaked my shoulder but don't worry about me I'm ok.

[kittens 1288]

p.s. i have had stromboli but i think it's just small pizza. it is good all the same and i will eat it again. thanks for asking

[Andrew 4646]

Hey Diaper, you just cost us the big record in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest forum thread! We're disqualified because of foul play! Are you happy now?!

[Andrew 4646]

And Jmonsterface, quit those likes! They used to be rationed out and getting one was special! Quit it!

 

I'm putting you all on blast!

 

I'm real ornery tonight (is that the right word? When you really wanna have sex?)

[dixon 5920]

We had sex.

Welcome to the Big Boys' Club.

[A Bear 1813]

700+ posts. I feel amazed but also a little sick. It's like in the Adam Sandler vehicle "Click" where he fast forwards through major events on autopilot and loses the value of a genuine experience. This isn't right

[JMonsterface 1974]

And Jmonsterface, quit those likes! They used to be rationed out and getting one was special! Quit it!

I do not like this post.

[SteveH 11126]

Hey Diaper, you just cost us the big record in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest forum thread! We're disqualified because of foul play! Are you happy now?!

 

Woah woah woah...how are we disqualified? There was no foul play here and I resent the accusation! Show me the rule book.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I think the problem is that you were bribed into multiposting, with promises of sweet, sweet hat photos. Something about the spirit of amateurism, I guess. Hey, Barry Bonds may not make it into the official record books, but he made literally thousands of dollars playing the sport he loved, and in the end that isn't so bad. We're just like Barry Bonds.

 

[Andrew 4646]

Woah woah woah...how are we disqualified? There was no foul play here and I resent the accusation! Show me the rule book.

 

[SteveH 11126]

 

 

Well, fine. I'm not about to defy Freddy Mercury.

 

I feel that I have become a villain. Goodbye, cruel forums.

 

This is American Diaper, signing off.

[JMonsterface 1974]

I'd just like to say that this thread DOES count and that it is the direct result of Sean and Hayes being so great and inspiring our cultlike devotion! I don't see how this thread is any different than any other thread except for the fact that it is bigger and better and has entertained/maintained the interest of more people for longer. This is not baseball, this is a community, and the fact that it is so strong is meaningful!

 

Ps-Don't you dare Daiper!

[dixon 5920]

I'm making spaghetti and meatballs. Will report back.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Delino DeShields hasn't been around in a few weeks, so we ARE in the market for a new villain. Diaper, you should stick around and make everyone real mad some more. Grr! I hate lists of favorite eps, especially if they are in separate posts! I'm so inspired by my anger that I'm going to go write an epic poem about it!

[kittens 1288]

I'm making spaghetti and meatballs. Will report back.

 

very much looking forward to this

[SteveH 11126]

Delino DeShields hasn't been around in a few weeks, so we ARE in the market for a new villain. Diaper, you should stick around and make everyone real mad some more. Grr! I hate lists of favorite eps, especially if they are in separate posts! I'm so inspired by my anger that I'm going to go write an epic poem about it!

 

Hey, I was ASKED to do that. Sorry I'm not a rude Gus! Ok now I'm signing off. Good night and good luck.

[SteveH 11126]

Let's see if I can breathe some life into the Kevin pollack forums. Maybe I'll make some cool new friends over there.

 

OK, that's it for me. Goodbye forever.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I'm not actually angry. But it isn't me you have to worry about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's Freja.

[DanEngler 5249]

Let's see if I can breathe some life into the Kevin pollack forums.

PROTIP: Don't.