EPISODE 99 — Paul Rust Again, Our Close Friend

[souprman 10477]

.

[Rose_Cream 1246]

I'm actually like Charles Barkley in a lot of ways.

 

no, my dog is actually like charles barkley. bc his name is charlie and he barks

[souprman 10477]

.

[Silvrwoman 4998]

So I saw this is my work inbox and it sounds like it could be one of Hayes and Sean's fake websites. It's also just a funny name for anything:

[Rose_Cream 1246]

Sorry, Silvrwoman, but I'm an artist.

 

JeffreyArties is his real name

[SteveH 11126]

Jeffrey P. Arties, esq.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

 

JeffreyArties is his real name

 

Friggin Rose_Cream, you lil cutie!

[Danny Boy Wizard 1342]

listened to this ep real late at night, dudes and dudettes. ended up sleeping through a class and was too embarrassed to return so i just dropped it.

 

no regrets.

 

v funny, v good

[Joe McGurl 8358]

[xoValeriexo 4369]

listened to this ep real late at night, dudes and dudettes. ended up sleeping through a class and was too embarrassed to return so i just dropped it.

 

no regrets.

 

v funny, v good

 

You are bad at school, Danny. Like you don't know how to do it at all. Don't drop classes! Just attend occasionally and enjoy your C.

[Game of Scones 5812]

first time trying the Tonight Dough flavor of B & J ice cream because I'm lactose intollerant and blah blah blah...

 

that shit is fucking delicious. holy fuck.

 

Its better than nutella in oatmeal, guys. honest.

[Dairy Pillows 1109]

first time trying the Tonight Dough flavor of B & J ice cream because I'm lactose intollerant and blah blah blah...

 

that shit is fucking delicious. holy fuck.

 

Its better than nutella in oatmeal, guys. honest.

 

I'm intrigued I think I will need to try it.

 

I'm currently obsessed with Haagen-Dazs Caramel Cone.

Seriously obsessed.

I might be in love.

 

[souprman 10477]

.

[elizamuffins 4228]

Those Häagen-Dazs are making me horny. Weird I came here with the intention of posting a food pic because we haven't had many as of late.

 

http://imgur.com/cbZxFpa

 

This is my Shepards pie only instead of corn it's with greenness and then instead of potatoes it's cauliflower and also I put bacon and cheese on top so technically it's sort of a cottage pie.

 

 

I wish it were sexier now.

[rod aug 5637]

Speaking of ice cream, I got this weird flavor yesterday.

it tastes kinda gross, i don't recommend it.

[mwn 5470]

hood I'm so disappointed in you

 

"sprinkles"?

 

""sprinkles"""??????

 

FUCK that, hood. you KNOW you fucked it on this one

 

edit: which is to say, it should be jimmies, in new england. this is one of the things everyone is programmed to do once they live here, is say jimmies instead of sprinkles

Edited September 3, 2015 by mwn

[elizamuffins 4228]

Pic removed after I sobered up!

 

 

Also where I cone from we call sprinkles Jimmies and I am pretty sure where I come from is where hood come from so now I am confused

Edited September 4, 2015 by elizamuffins

[Silvrwoman 4998]

Part 1 Recap (don't want to spoil, so highlight to view): I tied my shoes

 

Part 2:

 

Her neck-blood soaked jeans started to really bother Silvrwoman. “These were my favorite pair! Nothing ever goes my way. Does the universe have something against me being happy?” Although unbeknownst to Silvrwoman at the time, she would soon find that the answer to her question is “Yes.”

 

You see, billions of years ago, mankind started growing increasingly reliant on technology, and people used their bodies less and less. Why even go outside when the Howl-iBurton Enviro-Pay Wall 6s could replicate any environment on the wall of one’s own home? Because of this and other technologies, such as MySpace, which allowed humans to communicate without meeting face to face, the human body became obsolete. Only a couple of years after Mircrosoft’s big release event, everyone owned a Bing Brain-In-a-Vat 2000. Because a supercomputer just fed everyone’s experiences to them, and no one actually physically did anything, there was no one there to update the supercomputer with new software. Therefore, the supercomputer executed the same program repeatedly, and the disembodied brains only had knowledge about the universe as it was before the Brain-In-a-Vat 2000 was invented. The writer, or should I say "painter" of this program, JeffreyParties, is mean and didn't want Silvrwoman to be happy.

 

As Silvrwoman began browsing her closet for a clean pair of paints, she thought more about the recent events that had transpired. The violent robot attack, her decapitation, tying her shoes. She remembered that time she was getting ready to meet everybody at the park, and felt rushed when Mikebonetti said, “Aight, let’s make like a tree and leaf!” Anxious, not wanting to be late for the disc golf tournament finale she had coordinated in order to impress Souprman with her Right Hand Forehand Throw, Silvrwoman simultaneously put both her legs into her pants, accidentally sticking both legs into one opening. As she thought about how Valerie Bryant calmed her down that day by advising, “put your pants on one leg at a time,” Silvrwoman confidently grabbed a pair of neck-bloodless jeans from its hanger; for the first time in a while, she knew everything was going to turn out OK. If only Valerie had also told Silvrwoman to put her shoes on last…

 

To be continued.

[rod aug 5637]

hood I'm so disappointed in you

 

"sprinkles"?

 

""sprinkles"""??????

 

FUCK that, hood. you KNOW you fucked it on this one

 

edit: which is to say, it should be jimmies, in new england. this is one of the things everyone is programmed to do once they live here, is say jimmies instead of sprinkles

whoa whoa whoa

 

hold on a minute.

 

these are RAINBOW sprinkles, not chocolate. chocolate sprinkles are jimmies, rainbow aren't.

[SteveH 11126]

tonight I ate a whole thing of General Tso's chicken. The amount they give you is large enough to feed 3 people reasonable servings. I don't have any pictures of it because it's in my fat disgusting slob stomach

 

editor's note: i used the word 'portion' twice in one sentence and I didn't like it so I changed it.

Edited September 3, 2015 by SteveH

[Just Add Pepper 2026]

Origin of brand name[edit]

 

 

Mattus invented the "Danish-sounding" "Häagen-Dazs" as a tribute to Denmark's exemplary treatment of its Jews during theSecond World War,[4] and included an outline map of Denmark on early labels. The name is not Danish, which has neither anumlaut nor a digraph zs, nor did the name have any meaning in any language before its creation.[5] Mattus felt that Denmark was known for its dairy products and had a positive image in the United States.[6] His daughter Doris Hurley reported in the 1999 PBSdocumentary An Ice Cream Show that her father sat at the kitchen table for hours saying nonsensical words until he came up with a combination he liked. The reason he chose this method was so that the name would be unique and original.[7]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Haagen Dasz is a filthy fraud, DP, you deserve better. This would be like me posting a picture making out with a blooming onion. Would it be an erotic rollercoaster? Yeah, of course. Would it also taste good? Slather some sauce on that baby, and you betcha. But would it be true, would it be right? No. Absolutely not.

[Just Add Pepper 2026]

Speaking of ice cream, I got this weird flavor yesterday.

it tastes kinda gross, i don't recommend it.

 

Terrible brand name. Makes me think of an uncircumsized penis. But then, what doesn't?

[souprman 10477]

[Game of Scones 5812]

I'm so glad I am the genesis of soupdick

[elizamuffins 4228]

 

Oh baby. I'll be back baby