Questions--Forum Edition!

[Cameron H. 23786]

Greetings fellow citizens of SPONTANEANATION--both native born and naturalized!

 

I had an idea, probably not a very good one as it has made me stop and consider the amount of free time I'm squandering, to compile a list of the guest questions asked on each episode. And while I feel like it would be a handy resource to easily find which question was asked on each episode and provide the probably* identity for each of the question askers (which I get the feeling may be a relief for Mr. Tompkins), I felt, more importantly, that it would give people an opportunity, should they feel so inclined, to answer the questions themselves!

 

I am of the opinion that everyone has a story, and while all of the guests have been wonderful, I don't feel like you need to be a big time, Hollywood hotshot to tell a fascinating tale. If the interest in this thread is there, I will update the list on a weekly basis, if not, well...I guess it will just die a wretched and piteous death--forgotten deep within the bowels of the forums.

 

Feel free to answer as many as you'd like, I would ask only one thing: please, please, please be respectful! I have been a forum member for a year and haven't run into too many assholes, but if someone says something you don't agree with--and you don't have the capacity to engage in courteous or considerate debate--please withhold your comment and just ignore it. This is not to say that "joke" answers/responses are discouraged, respond any way you want; however, if you decide to conduct yourself in an unmannerly way, I will have no other recourse than to leave your post ignored and "un-liked."

 

So, here it goes:

 

 

Ep.1 "What is your favorite thing to eat when you are feeling sad? And, if you don't feed your feelings like I do, why are you a robot?"--Busy Phillips

 

Ep. 2 "Do you have a perpetual age in your head--that when you think of yourself--you think of yourself at that age? And, if so, what is the age and why?"--Michael McMillian

 

Ep. 3 "Who was your hero growing up--fictional or otherwise ("otherwise" meaning real)? And, if you could, would you trade places with that hero?" -- Jason Ritterj

 

Ep. 4 "What was the first time you experienced the emotion 'humiliation?'" -- Melanie Lynsky

 

Ep. 5 "If someone asked you when you were thirteen years old, 'Who are the five people you would invite to a dinner party?' who would you have said?" -- Dave Foley

 

Ep. 6 "Where were you when you realized God was a wholly implausible lie?" -- Maria Thayer

 

Ep. 7 "What's your favorite invention?" -- Kaitlin Olson

 

Ep. 8 "What do you like most about yourself?" -- Elizabeth Reaser

 

Ep. 9 "What animal would you save from extinction if you could?" -- Michael Sheen

 

Ep. 10 "What is the earliest memory you have of doing something 'cruel?'" -- Justin Kirk

 

Ep. 11 "What is the thing you desire that you are most ashamed of desiring?" -- Aimee Mann

 

Ep. 12 "Do you have social anxiety, and if so, how does it manifest?" -- Open Mike Eagle

 

Ep. 13 "Why did you choose that outfit today?" -- Colin Hanks

 

Ep. 14 "Did you ever name your car? If not, what the Hell is wrong with you?" -- John Hodgeman

 

Ep. 15 "Do you believe in ghosts? Where is your evidence?" -- Jen Kirkman

 

Ep. 16 "Why would you never talk to your cousin--if you needed a reason?" -- Aaron Abrams

 

Ep. 17 "You win a contest that entitles you to draft a 28th Amendment to the Constitution, guaranteed to pass, the only stipulation is it must be 'food related.' What is your Amendment?" -- Paget Brewster

 

Ep. 18 "Gun to your head: choose a reality competition show to come to your home." -- Raphael Bob-Waksberg

 

Ep. 19 "Sir or Madam, how do you sleep at night?" -- Lisa Hanawalt

 

Ep. 20 "When was the last time you felt 'furious?'" --Scott Carter

 

Ep. 21 "What ridiculous formality do you slavishly observe?" -- Jonathan Coulton

 

Ep. 22 "If you were forced to make a career change, and your success was guaranteed, what would you do?" -- Bob Kerr

 

Ep. 23 "What was the last thing you've done that you considered 'brave?'" -- Derek Waters

 

Ep. 24 "When did you realize that you weren't alone?" -- Kumail Nanjiani

 

 

* I am guessing that this list is accurate based on the release of each episode; however, I know that a couple of live episodes have been recorded but not yet released. I don't know if that skews the "question asker" to "answer giver" format or if the live episodes are their own separate beasts all together.

[Jug Bandit 133]

First of all, this is quite an undertaking, and a very cool idea, so thanks for taking the time to put it together!

 

Prior to now, I had not really thought of how -I- might answer any of these questions. Faced with the prospect of revealing any of these things about myself... I have a new appreciation for the weight and tone of the questions. Instead of asking, "Why did it take Derek Waters so long to come up with an answer," I find myself wondering how the majority of the guests come up with their answers so quickly! Maybe that's just showbiz.

 

Anyway, with that in mind, I'm electing to answer one of the lighter questions available.

 

Ep. 14 "Did you ever name your car? If not, what the Hell is wrong with you?"

 

I did name my car. My first car was a 1984 Dodge Omni hatchback. It had four cylinders of raw power and a 5-speed manual transmission. I drove it like it was super sporty. I drove it to the Black Hills, I drove it to shows in Lawrence, and I drove it straight into the ground.

 

Its name was Maurice.

 

The rear passenger door had a menacing rattle inside of it, and persons sitting next to it for the first time were frequently regaled with the story of 'Griff', a mythical stoner hitch-hiker with red white and blue dreadlocks, who was accidentally thrown from the vehicle in the middle of a busy intersection when I took the corner a little too hard and the door flew open. Said passenger would then be passed a joint, and all left turns would be made at dangerous speeds for the rest of the drive.

 

Good times.

 

 

And, though there is definitely something the hell wrong with me, I feel that answering the first part of this question in the affirmative gets me off the hook for explaining just what the hell that might be.

[Cameron H. 23786]

First of all, this is quite an undertaking, and a very cool idea, so thanks for taking the time to put it together!

 

Thank you--for both your support of the idea and being brave enough to take a shot at one of the questions! Yeah, I think just getting this much of a list together was the difficult part--which really just amounted to me re-listening to a show I already like--which is to say, not very difficult at all. Now it's just a matter of maintaining it, which shouldn't be too hard...

 

Prior to now, I had not really thought of how -I- might answer any of these questions. Faced with the prospect of revealing any of these things about myself... I have a new appreciation for the weight and tone of the questions. Instead of asking, "Why did it take Derek Waters so long to come up with an answer," I find myself wondering how the majority of the guests come up with their answers so quickly! Maybe that's just showbiz.

 

Yeah, it is pretty impressive. I'm not sure how well I'd do in their position. Actually, I know exactly what I'd do...babble for about five minutes, think I nailed it, pat myself on the back, and then realize later what an idiot I sounded like.

 

 

Anyway, with that in mind, I'm electing to answer one of the lighter questions available.

 

I did name my car. My first car was a 1984 Dodge Omni hatchback. It had four cylinders of raw power and a 5-speed manual transmission. I drove it like it was super sporty. I drove it to the Black Hills, I drove it to shows in Lawrence, and I drove it straight into the ground.

 

Its name was Maurice.

 

The rear passenger door had a menacing rattle inside of it, and persons sitting next to it for the first time were frequently regaled with the story of 'Griff', a mythical stoner hitch-hiker with red white and blue dreadlocks, who was accidentally thrown from the vehicle in the middle of a busy intersection when I took the corner a little too hard and the door flew open. Said passenger would then be passed a joint, and all left turns would be made at dangerous speeds for the rest of the drive.

 

Good times.

 

 

And, though there is definitely something the hell wrong with me, I feel that answering the first part of this question in the affirmative gets me off the hook for explaining just what the hell that might be.

 

Wow! Your answer is pretty great! Which is to say, you answered the question perfectly and opened the door to a number of others... I won't pry (you're not on trial) and you are welcome to your aura of mystery. I do have one question though. It sounds like you have a lot of good (exciting) memories associated with Maurice, did Maurice's name come before or after the events? In other words, did Maurice earn his name through these shared experiences or did you know right away, "This is Maurice?"

 

As for me, I always tried to name my car, but as soon as I did, I would immediately forget it. I want to say one of my cars was named "Carlos" (Get it? I hope so, because it's a HILARIOUS joke). Which I guess just says that as a teenager, I was too far up my own ass to commit my own goddamn car's name to memory, and if I did manage to do so, it was chronically un-original and juvenile.

 

Holy crap! I think I just had a freaking breakthrough answering this question...

[Jug Bandit 133]

Carlos! Yes!

 

I dated a girl in High School who had named her car "Coche," which is apparently Spanish for car. I'm not for sure on that because I did not take Spanish, I took French, I guess because I've always thought i was pretty fucking fancy.

 

In Spanish class, the kids got to choose their own Spanish names (or so I was told). However, in French class, we were assigned our French name. Mine was Maurice.

 

The truth of the matter is that my car was not born a Maurice, nor did it grow into that name, although by the end Ithink it had earned it. I named the car Maurice because my girlfriend and her cool friends had named their cars, and I wanted to be more like them, and Maurice was the first thing I thought of.

 

...as a teenager' date=' I was too far up my own ass ... chronically unoriginal and juvenile.[/quote']

 

I would like to propose that any person whose teen years are not accurately described by this phrase is either a liar or a saint. Probably a liar. Which brings me to...

 

I think I just had a freaking breakthrough!

 

Were I not on a mobile at work, I would link Mr. Show - Lie Detector.

 

"Its great. Its crack. It gets you really high."

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

I dated a girl in High School who had named her car "Coche," which is apparently Spanish for car. I'm not for sure on that because I did not take Spanish, I took French, I guess because I've always thought i was pretty fucking fancy.

 

I also took French in high school, as I too had aspirations of being a fancy lad. Actually, I think I had watched too many cartoons as a kid and just assumed that by learning the "Language of Love" it would somehow make me more desirable to the girls at school. Sad to say, it did not work. Who knew that shallow affectations aren't a substitute for an actual personality? Honestly, I don't think I can overstate how much of an idiot I was...

 

Were I not on a mobile at work, I would link Mr. Show - Lie Detector.

 

"Its great. Its crack. It gets you really high."

 

I got you covered

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Jy-eC89cBo

[DanEngler 5249]

Ep. 10 "What is the earliest memory you have of doing something 'cruel?'"

When I was 6 or 7 years old, an aunt gave me a Fisher-Price telescope for Christmas in an effort to foster my burgeoning interest in science. The set included a number of plastic slides that you could insert into the telescope to see photographs of various planets/nebulae/etc. Several days later, we were discussing the gift and, when I got to the part about the slides, I called them stupid. Though I was a dumb little kid, the upset in her voice was unmistakeable.

 

I'm reminded of this incident at least once a week and, every time, I am struck anew with a profound wave of shame.

 

Comedy podcasts, am I right?

[VajayjayLeno 336]

"Did you ever name your car? If not, what the Hell is wrong with you?"

 

My first car was my parents' old Ford Ranger. My gf at the time named her car Carlton because she was (and still is) really bad with pun names so I figured my car should have a name. I made up a whole backstory that my car was A) a big nerd and 2) transgender so she transitioned to be a he (because all cars are born female) and named himself Aragorn.

 

Because he's a Ranger.

[Cameron H. 23786]

When I was 6 or 7 years old, an aunt gave me a Fisher-Price telescope for Christmas in an effort to foster my burgeoning interest in science. The set included a number of plastic slides that you could insert into the telescope to see photographs of various planets/nebulae/etc. Several days later, we were discussing the gift and, when I got to the part about the slides, I called them stupid. Though I was a dumb little kid, the upset in her voice was unmistakeable.

 

I'm reminded of this incident at least once a week and, every time, I am struck anew with a profound wave of shame.

 

Comedy podcasts, am I right?

 

 

Hey Dan, if it makes you feel any better, I think everyone has a "Man, was I an ungrateful little shit" memory from childhood. For me, when I was 11 or 12 and just getting into Little League, my grandmother got me this Teddy Bear alarm clock for Xmas, that when the alarm went off, it said something like, "Strike one! Strike two. Get out of bed or you're OUT!" It was terrible! I mean, I think it would have been a fine gift were I five or six, but I was pushing thirteen--practically a grown-up. How was I going to score with all the hot girls I was sure to be dating with this piece of shit by the bed? Crazy, right?

 

Anyway, I don't think I said anything, but my reaction to it was of utter contempt and disgust. So much so, that later my mother had to take me aside and give me a reality check. For the rest of the holiday I really tried to sell (unsuccessfully) that it was actually a pretty cool gift.

 

Of course, there are a lot of things we regret or wish we had handled differently. For my part, I try to treat these events like something that lingers on your credit report--after seven years, just let it drop off. You were a different person then, and hopefully, you've learned from your mistake. This theory makes even more sense--in a literal way--if you buy into the (false) theory that every seven years you have regenerated completely new cells.