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IRONicmerMAN

USS Indianapolis (2016)

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I feel like I recommended this before, but maybe not. It's a Nic Cagiac production, so maybe Paul will want to steer clear after their recent collaboration.

 

Sir Nicolas Cage stars as a WWII Navy Captain in a film that's based on a true story...a true story, of survival.

 

"Nic Cage, Tom Sizemore and Tom Jane star in the harrowing tale of real life American heroes shipwrecked in shark infested waters in the waning days of World War II."

 

That's right. And yes, it also includes Sizemore, Jane, James Remar. That's not enough? Well, how about the fact that it was directed by Mario Van Peebles? Still not sold? How about 9% on Rotten Tomatoes? No? Tough crowd. My last shot...$740k box office on a $40M budget!!!

 

The risk here is that Cage doesn't go full Cage. Or maybe that's enough to warrant consideration.

 

Here's basically the entire movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLIVmy5cwUQ

 

cage-shark.jpg

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It doesn't have nearly enough 'full-on-cage', for sure.

I'm absolutely stunned by the budget because it was absolute trash... I watched it while doing some work and it was boring the shit out of me even just half paying attention. Like stunningly boring. The non stop shark attacks were more annoying than terrifying cause there was zero attachment to any characters.

 

and most Importantly [spoilerS/I dont know how to use the spoilers tags/SPOILERS] -> This movie is about a secret mission to ship a nuclear bomb... I thought, hmmm I didn't know they sailed the bomb across the ocean to japan. I figured they flew them over there, hoping island bases or something. This should be interesting! So from the synopsis I had the impression they would at least succeed in delivering the bomb cause, you know, hiroshima. NOPE. I guess there's an old fatman bomb sitting on the pacific ocean floor somewhere now?? I mean they didn't have a whole lot of those back in the day. I feel like it would have been major news if the navy had just lost one! But basically, the bomb is just a total red herring and non-factor to the plot of this movie, like basically everything else in it.

 

Continued SPOILER Edit: ^ scratch all that, they do actually deliver the damn bomb, it just happens so quickly and with so little fanfare I must have completely missed it on my first watch... Movie makes a lot more sense narratively now but it's still crazy boring.

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I just can't understand how they thought that this film was necessary, given that this story was already perfected forty years ago by Robert Shaw:

 

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I just can't understand how they thought that this film was necessary, given that this story was already perfected forty years ago by Robert Shaw:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9S41Kplsbs

 

I know that there was a rumored production about Quint's time on the Indianapolis. I wonder if this is what that eventually became, but with no Quint, so they could get around Universal, or if this is just a bobo shot at the story.

 

On another note...man, I feel for Tom Jane when he does movies like this. Poor guy.

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HOLY. FUCK.

I'm watching this now on Netflix and this needs to be covered so badly by the show. The CGI is worse than Sky Captain, every 40s trope and cliche you can think of is on display. Many characters are just racist caricatures. The main Japanese antagonist has scenes with dead ancestor, which is shown by having the guy stand behind him talking in voiceover, and for some reason this shitshow is over two hours long. Cage is actually trying in this film which makes it that much sadder. Also during the ancestor scene, the ghost basically talks to the captain about being afraid of the atomic bomb being dropped, which is so historically inaccurate it's shocking that it was left in the film.

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