The Mummy (2017)

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Louis Peitzman tweeted that the Mummy is "so impressively bad it should be studied." I'm volunteering HDTGM for this duty.

 

I am always ready to mock Tom Cruise.

[NathanGordon 1096]

I was hoping against hope that this might turn out to be at least watchable. For some reason, Hollywood has been utterly incapable of producing a decent Universal horror monster revival -- Coppola's Dracula years ago was probably the best attempt to mimic the style (though it had serious problems, the production design was spectacular). I know studio execs are hoping to start a sort of Universal cinematic universe with this film, plus it's probably the biggest non-Mission Impossible movie Cruise has done in forever.

 

It looks like your basic "Tom Cruise running" film, plus the now obligatory CGI nonsense. It's hilarious/disappointing that they made the mummy a sexy lady instead of, you know, a shriveled up corpse.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

It's supposed to be called "the Dark Universe," which sounds like the subtitle of a Thor movie to me. And that photo of all of them together makes me feel bad for Russell Crowe for some reason, even though I haven't forgiven him for Man of Steel. He kind of looks like he knows this is a terrible idea and he regrets it already.

 

 

It's hilarious/disappointing that they made the mummy a sexy lady instead of, you know, a shriveled up corpse.

There's a display of her outfits at Saks Fifth Avenue right now. I walked by it today. Call me old fashioned, but the Mummy shouldn't be nearly naked. This is the one Universal monster that should have lot of coverings.

 

 

Coppola's Dracula years ago was probably the best attempt to mimic the style (though it had serious problems, the production design was spectacular).

I actually really hate this version (because of how it deviates, stupidly, from the canon) but I agree that the design was beautiful.

[SlidePocket 707]

17% on Rotten Tomatoes and underwhelming at the U.S. box office already!